what the fuck am I doing? I feel like I have lost every ounce of sanity I may have once had. why does being an adult have to involve so many feelings to consider and so many logical decisions to make? I feel like I have the freedom to do whatever I want now, and that scares me beyond belief. I've never had control like this where I feel like ( Read more... )

yup, here I am again...punking out on livejournal as usual. I don't know who the hell to talk to about anything 'cause no one would understand why I'd think such absurd thoughts. also I can't sleep so here are my ramblings. no one reads this anyway, but whatever. people tell me all too often to stop overthinking everything all the time and just let ( Read more... )

why is it that I always come here when I don't have the balls to tell the real world what I'm feeling? I'm pathetic. also, why is it that I'm always being tested when I'm most vulnerable? why the hell can't I just go about my life without overanalyzing everything. I know I'm strong, I know I'm happy, and I know I'm going to do the right thing. I ( Read more... )

yesterday, I graduated from GVSU. what does that even mean? find a career? grow up? wtf. I'm not ready for either. I know I've come out of college better equipped to do the next thing I'm supposed to do - go to graduate school. but besides that, what have I actually learned? as egotistical as this might sound, I feel like I've learned more about ( Read more... )

I guess I don't really update this thing anymore. not because writing down my thoughts isn't therapeutic, but moreso because I just don't have time. I'm super busy lately, which isn't always bad, it just leaves little time for journal updating. maybe someday soon, who knows. otherwise, I guess I'm putting this here thing to rest until who knows ( Read more... )

I really wanna just be done with school. I'm just not in the mood to sit and listen to lectures this semester. which is why I dropped a class already, heh. no, actually I just don't need it and the prof wasn't anything special. but of the classes I am still enrolled in ( Read more... )

labor day weekend 2006 will officially go down in history as one of the most amazing weekends of my life.


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well, in less than 24 hours, I officially start classes. I already psyched myself out looking at a couple of the syllabi online and god...it'll be a miracle if I get through the semester without completely losing my mind. I just made it through a 7 day week (54 hours) at Parker. basically I pissed away my last real weekend of freedom, but I really ( Read more... )

my new favorite thing is Regina Spektor. her music is amazing. "fidelity" fucking gets me. actually, I received the most perfectly compiled CD a few days ago. it was the most meaningful gift I've ever been given. actually, in the past few days, I've had so many fucking amazing moments with Mike. that boy kills me. I still can't understand it. why ( Read more... )

a week from tomorrow, classes start. god, where has my summer gone!? I have so many things to get done in the next month regarding school/graduate school. ugh. I would rather not think about it. well, on Friday I paid my tuition: $3473.00 out the window. plus $280 on books. and that's only for 3 classes. luckily, my 4th class requires no text, yay ( Read more... )