Porcelain
I'm in an intensely bad mood right now. My hair is a fried up, diced up mess of blonde and I really just want to cry about it, but what good would that ever do?
I wanted to go platinum because I want to signify to the world how much I've changed in the past year. I wanted to show how full of life I am, and I wanted to look like my idols. I wanted to be a blondehaired beauty. Instead I ended up looking like a billy idol remake. I thought it couldn't get worse then it did, I became fryed. Now my hair is this strawberry blonde and my skin is olive and it looks weird. Basically my coloring looks like a rancid fruit salad.
I just want to be fabulous, thats all I ask. I just wanted to make people love me. I know thats extremely sad of me to be so wretched, so stupid, so flawed. But I have this Marilyn thing where I really want to be the male version of Marilyn. Sounds gay right? Well I just want to be lusted for, longed for, thought of, and compared to. I just want to be a sex symbol. I want to be loved. The sex part is stupid to me anyway. Sex is only a ridiculous expansive session with reflexes and lies. I don't believe its a bad thing to want to be lusted after. Its the ultimate power. Its in the eyes really. I just want to be photographed and I want to make love to the camera.
How long do I have to wait? How long do I need to keep this cherade up hoping someone discovers me? That's not going to happen. I have to show the world who I am and I wanted to do it now. Its hard when your hair is fryed orangey and your skin is pallid and pale.
How long will I slide?
I wanted to go platinum because I want to signify to the world how much I've changed in the past year. I wanted to show how full of life I am, and I wanted to look like my idols. I wanted to be a blondehaired beauty. Instead I ended up looking like a billy idol remake. I thought it couldn't get worse then it did, I became fryed. Now my hair is this strawberry blonde and my skin is olive and it looks weird. Basically my coloring looks like a rancid fruit salad.
I just want to be fabulous, thats all I ask. I just wanted to make people love me. I know thats extremely sad of me to be so wretched, so stupid, so flawed. But I have this Marilyn thing where I really want to be the male version of Marilyn. Sounds gay right? Well I just want to be lusted for, longed for, thought of, and compared to. I just want to be a sex symbol. I want to be loved. The sex part is stupid to me anyway. Sex is only a ridiculous expansive session with reflexes and lies. I don't believe its a bad thing to want to be lusted after. Its the ultimate power. Its in the eyes really. I just want to be photographed and I want to make love to the camera.
How long do I have to wait? How long do I need to keep this cherade up hoping someone discovers me? That's not going to happen. I have to show the world who I am and I wanted to do it now. Its hard when your hair is fryed orangey and your skin is pallid and pale.
How long will I slide?