Paranoia
Went to Whole Foods and got a sammich for lunch today. It was pretty good, but their soup sucks. Bland as all get-out.
I think if I can lose one more inch around my waist I'll be just ecstatic with my body. Right now I'm pretty happy with it, but who knows how long that feeling will last.
Otherwise, I'm freaking out in so many different ways. I'm scared of the dark now. My own shadow damn near scared the piss out of me the other night when I was walking home. I have to shut the windows before it gets dark, because then no one can see in. And the fact that Rachael has screwed up all the blinds and left little holes and things in them doesn't help either. Someone could easily look in. Deadbolts always thrown now. I hear the porch creaking and popping and I swear that it's someone walking around. I'm sure it's that stupid neighborhood tomcat, but everynight it gets my heart racing. I crawl into bed away from my window, because if I can't see it, then it's not really there and can't hurt me. What is it anyways? I have no fucking clue, but I'm scared. I try and sleep with music on so that it can drown out the house noises that turn so sinister at night.
It is really emotionally draining to be so scared all the time.
I can't wait for it to be Friday
I think if I can lose one more inch around my waist I'll be just ecstatic with my body. Right now I'm pretty happy with it, but who knows how long that feeling will last.
Otherwise, I'm freaking out in so many different ways. I'm scared of the dark now. My own shadow damn near scared the piss out of me the other night when I was walking home. I have to shut the windows before it gets dark, because then no one can see in. And the fact that Rachael has screwed up all the blinds and left little holes and things in them doesn't help either. Someone could easily look in. Deadbolts always thrown now. I hear the porch creaking and popping and I swear that it's someone walking around. I'm sure it's that stupid neighborhood tomcat, but everynight it gets my heart racing. I crawl into bed away from my window, because if I can't see it, then it's not really there and can't hurt me. What is it anyways? I have no fucking clue, but I'm scared. I try and sleep with music on so that it can drown out the house noises that turn so sinister at night.
It is really emotionally draining to be so scared all the time.
I can't wait for it to be Friday