stagnant
nothing ever changes.
and i quote "do you think you could be happy in philadelphia? oh wait, rachel...happy...rachel...happy...nevermind."
do i really seem that miserable...
and there's days like today, so up and so down, i love seeing my friends on a consistent basis, i love the fact that we've known each other since we were all little kids, i love being so close to everything and everyone that i love, even if it's all still an arm's length away. at least i know i can reach out and touch it if i want to...but i am beginning to hate how my family can't sit down without someone getting upset, or arguing over the petty things, or being lied to, or the fact that people just feel the need to remind me of so many things that i really do wish i could forget, even if that isn't what they intend to do, and i hate how whenever things turn bad i have to leave, i'd lose it otherwise, oh there she goes again, running away when things get difficult. but these problems are not my own, this life is not mine, i can't be happy watching everyone else live it.
and then there's another twist to the whole thing, i should have known better. put another coin in the meter.
hmm.
and i quote "do you think you could be happy in philadelphia? oh wait, rachel...happy...rachel...happy...nevermind."
do i really seem that miserable...
and there's days like today, so up and so down, i love seeing my friends on a consistent basis, i love the fact that we've known each other since we were all little kids, i love being so close to everything and everyone that i love, even if it's all still an arm's length away. at least i know i can reach out and touch it if i want to...but i am beginning to hate how my family can't sit down without someone getting upset, or arguing over the petty things, or being lied to, or the fact that people just feel the need to remind me of so many things that i really do wish i could forget, even if that isn't what they intend to do, and i hate how whenever things turn bad i have to leave, i'd lose it otherwise, oh there she goes again, running away when things get difficult. but these problems are not my own, this life is not mine, i can't be happy watching everyone else live it.
and then there's another twist to the whole thing, i should have known better. put another coin in the meter.
hmm.