(no subject)
so i was reading something on feministing about how the author hates heteronormative dating , like having to act nice and look pretty while waiting for some dude to do you the favor of asking you out. i obviously don't buy into the usual cosmo-magazine paradigm of heterosexual relationships, so i used to be sooooooooo thankful that "i wasn't like that" and patted myself on the back for being so progressive and radically untraditional in my dating relationships.
about a year or two ago i realized that i was completely full of shit, and i am still held down by those norms that i despise. i may not be criticizing my female partners for eating junk food or cringing when they talk about periods in the way that cosmo says all guys do, but i still perpetuate totally patriarchal relationships. i always take the lead or control in almost every situation (and then complain about it, making it even more assholish). i'm still entirely uncommunicative and emotioonallly unavailable most of the time. i still expect women to accomodate my desire to do whatever i want whenever i want, and then i freak out when them doing what they want inconveniences me.
whenever i look at this stuff that i do it makes me hate myself for wielding all this privilege and then calling myself egalitarian and looking down on people in "bad" or "patriarchal" or whatever realtionships.
about a year or two ago i realized that i was completely full of shit, and i am still held down by those norms that i despise. i may not be criticizing my female partners for eating junk food or cringing when they talk about periods in the way that cosmo says all guys do, but i still perpetuate totally patriarchal relationships. i always take the lead or control in almost every situation (and then complain about it, making it even more assholish). i'm still entirely uncommunicative and emotioonallly unavailable most of the time. i still expect women to accomodate my desire to do whatever i want whenever i want, and then i freak out when them doing what they want inconveniences me.
whenever i look at this stuff that i do it makes me hate myself for wielding all this privilege and then calling myself egalitarian and looking down on people in "bad" or "patriarchal" or whatever realtionships.