Change
Things will never be the same. . . .
ANd I am pissed. I am piss at: Cancer, for taking those I love. Cancer for fucking up her life. Cancer for making her need these meds that screw her up so bad. Cancer, for making her brain swelll. Cancer,lk;fasdjflkj.
MYself, for not being patient enough. for being deaf. For not listening. For not having the faith that she knows what she is doing. For not being strong enough. For not being organized. For not knowing what to do. For not know how to ask for help. For not knowing who to ask for help.
Others, for thinking the struggle is over. It is nowhere near over. In fact, is hasn't even begun yet and she is already in hell. We thought the surgery was the hard part. WE WERE WRONG. WE HAD NO IDEA. THIS IS WORST. AND IT IS GOING TO RAIN FIRE .
I dont' know what to do. I don't know if I can do it. She could die. Or worse, suffer. She had the choice to leave, and she stayed for me. I'm not worth it. I'm not what she needs.
I have failed. I can't fix it. I can't take it into myself. I can't make it go away. I can't make her comfortable. I can't help.
help
ANd I am pissed. I am piss at: Cancer, for taking those I love. Cancer for fucking up her life. Cancer for making her need these meds that screw her up so bad. Cancer, for making her brain swelll. Cancer,lk;fasdjflkj.
MYself, for not being patient enough. for being deaf. For not listening. For not having the faith that she knows what she is doing. For not being strong enough. For not being organized. For not knowing what to do. For not know how to ask for help. For not knowing who to ask for help.
Others, for thinking the struggle is over. It is nowhere near over. In fact, is hasn't even begun yet and she is already in hell. We thought the surgery was the hard part. WE WERE WRONG. WE HAD NO IDEA. THIS IS WORST. AND IT IS GOING TO RAIN FIRE .
I dont' know what to do. I don't know if I can do it. She could die. Or worse, suffer. She had the choice to leave, and she stayed for me. I'm not worth it. I'm not what she needs.
I have failed. I can't fix it. I can't take it into myself. I can't make it go away. I can't make her comfortable. I can't help.
help