(no subject)
I have an art history exam in an hour that I only remembered about this morning on my way to color research. Coffee and I studied for a little while, but I am exhausted and just want to nap. I was up for 23 hours on Friday on only got a cumulative 12 hours of sleep on Friday and Saturday nights. The sleep deprivation is finally catching up with me.
I started at Claire's yesterday. Alisha got me the job and I need the money. It's not hard, and I can get there on the bus since I don't have my car. My mom doesn't seem to happy about it though. I'll talk to her about it this weekend when I go home because she called me yesterday to tell me that I was going home for the weekend. It was not a question and she won't wait another week for Thanksgiving. As easy as it would be to just take her money (as she offered), I actually want to do this for myself. It's a "hey I'm growing up", independence thing. It's also why I kind of just want to spend next summer in Richmond, moved into my own place, working and going to summer school. It's an interesting situation, because my family and I have always been pretty tight and freakishly functional. I honestly can't ever remember having a genuine, door slamming, "I hate you" fight. I'm ready to be on my own and make my own decisions and to fend for myself. My parents have been good about respecting the fact that I'm at school, but it'd be easier to have space if they weren't 20 minutes (or in the case of my dad's office 8) away.
My moods have been swinging back and forth a lot recently between ridiculously emo and party girl fun. When I'm up, I go out, have fun, flirt, drink, and have a general, stereotypical college kid good time. (7 shots of tequila in 2 hours on Saturday anyone?) But then when I'm down I get obnoxiously cynical and critical of myself. (The partying is escapist and the hook ups are a result of desperately wanting to be wanted.) I don't really know which half of myself to believe. The ironic part is, I've just started cutting back on the sessions with my shrink because I'm sick of therapy.
I started at Claire's yesterday. Alisha got me the job and I need the money. It's not hard, and I can get there on the bus since I don't have my car. My mom doesn't seem to happy about it though. I'll talk to her about it this weekend when I go home because she called me yesterday to tell me that I was going home for the weekend. It was not a question and she won't wait another week for Thanksgiving. As easy as it would be to just take her money (as she offered), I actually want to do this for myself. It's a "hey I'm growing up", independence thing. It's also why I kind of just want to spend next summer in Richmond, moved into my own place, working and going to summer school. It's an interesting situation, because my family and I have always been pretty tight and freakishly functional. I honestly can't ever remember having a genuine, door slamming, "I hate you" fight. I'm ready to be on my own and make my own decisions and to fend for myself. My parents have been good about respecting the fact that I'm at school, but it'd be easier to have space if they weren't 20 minutes (or in the case of my dad's office 8) away.
My moods have been swinging back and forth a lot recently between ridiculously emo and party girl fun. When I'm up, I go out, have fun, flirt, drink, and have a general, stereotypical college kid good time. (7 shots of tequila in 2 hours on Saturday anyone?) But then when I'm down I get obnoxiously cynical and critical of myself. (The partying is escapist and the hook ups are a result of desperately wanting to be wanted.) I don't really know which half of myself to believe. The ironic part is, I've just started cutting back on the sessions with my shrink because I'm sick of therapy.