Epic boredom is epic.
That is right. I'm so bored and lacking in stimuli at work that I've resorted to a LiveJournal update. This has been a long time coming. There have been many changes. Many people who might have read this in the past will be aware of them, so I'm not going to list them all here.
Suffice to say, in many ways, I'm a boat without a rudder in gentle tides, without a port in sight.
There is work. It is unsatisfying, and a long way from home. It pays ok, but as previously stated, provides little stimulation.
There is a home, but it doesn't feel like one. It feels constricting and cold, mostly because the house itself is cold where I sleep.
There are ladies, but there are barriers between myself and them, and in typical fashion, I'm mostly too closed off to know if there is any real hope of some sort of satisfying connection, or if I'm just imagining what I seem to want to see.
There are few prospects of improvement at this time.
The unquenchable fury of my youth seems to have faded, but in its place there seems to be a dull sadness that often lurks in the background. Not obvious, and not overwhelming, but there nonetheless.
I am unsure how to proceed with anything.
Suffice to say, in many ways, I'm a boat without a rudder in gentle tides, without a port in sight.
There is work. It is unsatisfying, and a long way from home. It pays ok, but as previously stated, provides little stimulation.
There is a home, but it doesn't feel like one. It feels constricting and cold, mostly because the house itself is cold where I sleep.
There are ladies, but there are barriers between myself and them, and in typical fashion, I'm mostly too closed off to know if there is any real hope of some sort of satisfying connection, or if I'm just imagining what I seem to want to see.
There are few prospects of improvement at this time.
The unquenchable fury of my youth seems to have faded, but in its place there seems to be a dull sadness that often lurks in the background. Not obvious, and not overwhelming, but there nonetheless.
I am unsure how to proceed with anything.