the procession of things
if only i knew what i wanted to truely do with my life. i don't. i know nothing. i simply am forced to accept all that is given to me. dare i ask for more i'll be spat on in the face. i cannot chance another go at things for that'll be my last.
my thoughts are consistently protruding into my conscious, and i don't know what to do in order the cease these negative wants. it's as if i have 2 unhappy creatures sitting on either side of my shoulders whispering sweet nothings into my ears, except their not sweet ntohigns anymore, they're lies and hatred. the bittersweet romance alluding to death, and i don't kno how to get rid of these heinous beings that reside there. permanently attached to me and i am unable to listen to anyone else but them
nothing goes the way one plans, everytime i put faith in people i get let down, so why continue to do so with them? why do i time and time and time again give every single person i have come in contact with the benefit of the doubt? what makes them so special that everyone can walk all over me and do as they please. and then i blame myself for all of it
all i think about is bleeding and pain and misery and wanting to go away. far far away. running away will not help matters, but leaving in a permanent sense. never to be even able to return, that's a way out of this place. it's not like anyone would truely miss me. everybody is false, and people have more to worry about, then the loss of a child. i'll never grow up, never get up, never do what is to be done.
but then i try and try and try and always fail. why bother trying if you constantly fail with all things good or bad. i cant even get 1 thing straight anymore. i screw up left and right, and i'm always the one at fault.
i want a simple gesture, some infinitely small hand to let me kno that humanity is still good. that in the end i'll have a should to lean on, and someone to care for me. but instead i get nothing, i get absolutely nothing from everyone. anyone.
my thoughts are consistently protruding into my conscious, and i don't know what to do in order the cease these negative wants. it's as if i have 2 unhappy creatures sitting on either side of my shoulders whispering sweet nothings into my ears, except their not sweet ntohigns anymore, they're lies and hatred. the bittersweet romance alluding to death, and i don't kno how to get rid of these heinous beings that reside there. permanently attached to me and i am unable to listen to anyone else but them
nothing goes the way one plans, everytime i put faith in people i get let down, so why continue to do so with them? why do i time and time and time again give every single person i have come in contact with the benefit of the doubt? what makes them so special that everyone can walk all over me and do as they please. and then i blame myself for all of it
all i think about is bleeding and pain and misery and wanting to go away. far far away. running away will not help matters, but leaving in a permanent sense. never to be even able to return, that's a way out of this place. it's not like anyone would truely miss me. everybody is false, and people have more to worry about, then the loss of a child. i'll never grow up, never get up, never do what is to be done.
but then i try and try and try and always fail. why bother trying if you constantly fail with all things good or bad. i cant even get 1 thing straight anymore. i screw up left and right, and i'm always the one at fault.
i want a simple gesture, some infinitely small hand to let me kno that humanity is still good. that in the end i'll have a should to lean on, and someone to care for me. but instead i get nothing, i get absolutely nothing from everyone. anyone.