(no subject)
Happy Birthday Heart.
So I decided that June 21st was the birth of my heart. Now, why is this?, you ask. Especially when I was born on February 10th? Well, it starts like this. I was never a pretty girl at a younger age. I was, well, awkward. And this is no one else's fault but my own. I attempted to hide my awkwardness by dressing like a boy (er, something), and I only succeeded in looking more weird. I didn't fully - and comfortably - grow into myself (well, sorta) until I was 16. That is, specifically, June 21st, 2002. My cousin's wedding. My heart was born that night, and it was delivered to my grade school crush, aka my older sister's best friend, and surprisingly enough, he took it. At least for the night. And while that's a completely different story in itself, it's relation to this story is important. Because that was the first night when I felt like I did deserve more than just being the awkward girl. I knew then that bigger and better things were coming, and it was that night that I feel like I opened myself up to the world. And he allowed me to feel that, just by looking in my direction, and taking my open hand. Thus my heart was born. And every year since then, on the same night, June 21st, incredible things always seem to happen. 2003 - I believe I was in California with Nicole. Partying really fucking hard. And it was awesome. 2004 - I met (and thus, "encountered" for the first time) Shaun. This year was definitely anticlimactic in comparison to the last three years, but I was with people that I cared about, and enjoying myself my first year post-college. And I think that's worth something.
So I'm pleased to say my heart has survived another year. It has laughed and cried, it has soared and fallen, it has been broken and put back together. But most of all, I just realized, it has lived. And that's all I really wanted right now.
So I decided that June 21st was the birth of my heart. Now, why is this?, you ask. Especially when I was born on February 10th? Well, it starts like this. I was never a pretty girl at a younger age. I was, well, awkward. And this is no one else's fault but my own. I attempted to hide my awkwardness by dressing like a boy (er, something), and I only succeeded in looking more weird. I didn't fully - and comfortably - grow into myself (well, sorta) until I was 16. That is, specifically, June 21st, 2002. My cousin's wedding. My heart was born that night, and it was delivered to my grade school crush, aka my older sister's best friend, and surprisingly enough, he took it. At least for the night. And while that's a completely different story in itself, it's relation to this story is important. Because that was the first night when I felt like I did deserve more than just being the awkward girl. I knew then that bigger and better things were coming, and it was that night that I feel like I opened myself up to the world. And he allowed me to feel that, just by looking in my direction, and taking my open hand. Thus my heart was born. And every year since then, on the same night, June 21st, incredible things always seem to happen. 2003 - I believe I was in California with Nicole. Partying really fucking hard. And it was awesome. 2004 - I met (and thus, "encountered" for the first time) Shaun. This year was definitely anticlimactic in comparison to the last three years, but I was with people that I cared about, and enjoying myself my first year post-college. And I think that's worth something.
So I'm pleased to say my heart has survived another year. It has laughed and cried, it has soared and fallen, it has been broken and put back together. But most of all, I just realized, it has lived. And that's all I really wanted right now.