falling is like this

[emo_struckheart]

It wasnt clear to me until i said the conversation we had outloud. when I retold it. And then it made sense. It was very clear that it was something you just didnt know how to tell me. or maybe you just didnt agree, that it really didnt matter to you anymore. And before, when i had said,  I dont matter to you, the way you matter to me anymore. now the normal person, who acted in love, would simply correct me. by saying yes you do, you do too matter to me the same way. But you didnt say that. you didnt reply that way. you said what do you mean?

This whole time, i was believing we were going to get back together. that you were waiting for me to say something, and that i was waiting for you to say something. Thats how i looked at it. Because well, thats how we work. we're both too stubborn, and we both dont know how to bring it up. But i was completly wrong. and now i feel like an idiot.

I have no idea, if i am even right in the slightest. I could be wrong. I could simply be fooling myself. that this isnt how it is, but sadly i have a feeling that i am right. and you dont have the guts to say it.

just say it.
please just say it.

so that i cant stop replaying dreams in my mind.

For some odd reason Valentines day is important to me. Im sorry. But I guess i just have to learn not to care. I have to not care. Because you dont care. How do you do it?

How do you not care?

love always,
sarah