Chasing the Wind

[emo_snl]

   The turquoise sea sparkled in the sun, seagulls circled overhead, and the large square sail pulled fitfully, propelling the ship along. The crewmembers relaxed at their oar benches, trying to enjoy every moment of not rowing to the utmost. Jason stood near the steersman in the stern, watching the green hilly coast slide by to their right. He

Comments

One small problem

[baron_waste]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OK

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_proposed_etymologies_of_OK

Re: One small problem

[halfshellvenus]

Yes-- and in some of the earlier stories, too. You have to be careful about modern language in historical fiction, so readers don't get whiplash.

[emo_snal]

But the writing is assumed translation from ancient Greek and presumably they had a short casual affirmation which would be translated to "okay" without having to make a big deal about it hey?

“Ten-Four!”

[baron_waste]

presumably they had a short casual affirmation

Which would not be a 20th-century Americanism that breaks the setting, is my point.

"I agree," he said.  Idas was considered almost prophetic in his wisdom.

It's your story, but you'd hear this from just about any editor and it's an easy fix.

[baron_waste]

the writing is assumed translation from ancient Greek

It is?  I don’t see that mentioned - and you do say you’re re-telling these stories yourself.

It might be interesting to do both:  Have a creaky stiff translation as the intro to the story, like a vintage black-and-white picture blooming into color and motion.

[emo_snal]

I do always appreciate constructive criticism. And in this case I have indeed duly considered the point you raise. But I read a lot of historical fiction and nearly never do I see them actually explicitly saying "[this is all translated from ancient whatever]" because it's a thoroughly safe assumption. And as such "okay" may have been invented in the 20th century.... though that wiki article itself says the earliest written example is 1839, but literally every word of dialogue in there was invented centuries after the events take place, and "okay" will strike most readers in the appropriate context as a casual affirmation. If one used some funny young people slang like.. I don't know whatever the kids are saying these days (Jason was on fleek!), that might strike the reader as weird because it will distract them to thinking about funny 21st century youth trends, but I don't think okay is a distracting word

[baron_waste]

I'm glad you took this in the spirit it was intended. It's a good story.

[halfshellvenus]

Maybe? I don't know. It doesn't work for me-- always throws me right out of the story. I mean, if it were "Yes" or "Very good," I wouldn't notice. But okay is slang, and it calls attention to itself.