AHHH!!!!! angst returns to my life...
well... what do u do when a guy who is no longer your man starts telling u, well... this stuff (which is basically strung together im's):
The Guy: i know id give anything to be with you...or someone like you..which is impossible because there is nobody like you... i guess you would have to be in my shoes to understand why.
Me: Can u explain?
The Guy: ok...ill try and explain. i guess one thing is... you made me sooo happy...i mean...i've never been that happy before... and..when i was around you everything else faded away..all my problems...everything seemed to disappear... and i liked that...because my mind is usually so clouded with all these thoughts and craziness...and it was something i guess i had never felt before... and you're so amazingly beautiful....and your eyes....i could sit and gaze into them... and dont be sorry....im greatful for the time i spent with you...yeah...i do wish i could be with you again...more than anything... id give up being famous just to be with you...maybe thats a good way to explain how much i really care and how much you mean to me. i just....am glad i can still talk to you...and im glad you dont hate me....because that would definitely hurt me badly..and i dont know itd be hard to live with that... i mean...not many people can actually say they've been with their dream girl ya know....but i really can.....and i can mean it.... ok, ill stop now..i could probably go on for a long time....but i wont... and i know i feel this way...because ive had lots of time to think it over, and countless nights ive laid in bed....just thinking about it...and i mean...of all the feelings ive ever had for girls...the ones i had for you...were by far the strongest... i mean...id do anything for you emily. i just always wanted you to be happy...thats all....and i mean...i hoped it would have been with me but...things didnt seem to be goin that way so ya know... but i always felt something there between us...and i mean...we seemed so alike...and i just felt like we were meant to be..and i still have that same feeling...
how do u not kind of kick urself for letting a guy who cares that much about you go? i mean, that's devoted. and this guy, i've known him a long time, he doesn't give u lines or dress things up, he gives it to u straight. and since we broke up he's stayed single. gaaa! this would all be fabulous if it wasn't for another man in my life. i haven't known my boyfriend near as long, but i like him a lot. he's fun and he doesn't seem like he'll hurt me. i'm not willing to end it with him yet. not at all. cuz i really do like how it's going. so here enters the angst again into my life. i need to find a way to adjust my hormones so only one amazing man will want to be with me at a time, lol! so yes, hopefully my soap opera of a life will swing back into equalibrium soon. on a lighter note, i am very bloated and retaining water like crazy. ugggh. i also am quite proud of my courage, i'm going to get a few new piercings tomorrow. yay!
The Guy: i know id give anything to be with you...or someone like you..which is impossible because there is nobody like you... i guess you would have to be in my shoes to understand why.
Me: Can u explain?
The Guy: ok...ill try and explain. i guess one thing is... you made me sooo happy...i mean...i've never been that happy before... and..when i was around you everything else faded away..all my problems...everything seemed to disappear... and i liked that...because my mind is usually so clouded with all these thoughts and craziness...and it was something i guess i had never felt before... and you're so amazingly beautiful....and your eyes....i could sit and gaze into them... and dont be sorry....im greatful for the time i spent with you...yeah...i do wish i could be with you again...more than anything... id give up being famous just to be with you...maybe thats a good way to explain how much i really care and how much you mean to me. i just....am glad i can still talk to you...and im glad you dont hate me....because that would definitely hurt me badly..and i dont know itd be hard to live with that... i mean...not many people can actually say they've been with their dream girl ya know....but i really can.....and i can mean it.... ok, ill stop now..i could probably go on for a long time....but i wont... and i know i feel this way...because ive had lots of time to think it over, and countless nights ive laid in bed....just thinking about it...and i mean...of all the feelings ive ever had for girls...the ones i had for you...were by far the strongest... i mean...id do anything for you emily. i just always wanted you to be happy...thats all....and i mean...i hoped it would have been with me but...things didnt seem to be goin that way so ya know... but i always felt something there between us...and i mean...we seemed so alike...and i just felt like we were meant to be..and i still have that same feeling...
how do u not kind of kick urself for letting a guy who cares that much about you go? i mean, that's devoted. and this guy, i've known him a long time, he doesn't give u lines or dress things up, he gives it to u straight. and since we broke up he's stayed single. gaaa! this would all be fabulous if it wasn't for another man in my life. i haven't known my boyfriend near as long, but i like him a lot. he's fun and he doesn't seem like he'll hurt me. i'm not willing to end it with him yet. not at all. cuz i really do like how it's going. so here enters the angst again into my life. i need to find a way to adjust my hormones so only one amazing man will want to be with me at a time, lol! so yes, hopefully my soap opera of a life will swing back into equalibrium soon. on a lighter note, i am very bloated and retaining water like crazy. ugggh. i also am quite proud of my courage, i'm going to get a few new piercings tomorrow. yay!