(no subject)
So, band practice with kels was pretty fun as was band practice with pretty plays discord. We took a bunch of silly photographs for ourspace and have a bunch of new ideas for the music. Sadly, the rest of my life isn't as productive.
FAFSA sent me a letter in the mail today saying that, "I'm not eligible for financial aid", - apparently I'm not poor enough but I still can't afford to go to college. What the fuck kind of logic is that? Maybe it was a grim reminder that I suck balls. On top of that, I don't have a cosigner to take responsibility if I fail to 'default' on the college payments. So no new england tech for me.
Things with kels are pretty awkward. I feel guilty for liking her in spite of the fact that she has a boyfriend; she likes me too and now I understand how screwed up this sort of situation is. Although, even if she didn't have a boyfriend, I don't believe I'd be able to really move on with all the other things I'm dealing with. Especially after I've said a bunch of untrue stuff just so she wouldn't have to deal with my hopelessness anymore, and because I cared enough that I didn't want to end up hurting her. Now that I think about it, it feels like a mistake that I've made her hate me again. I could use somebody to talk to right now.
FAFSA sent me a letter in the mail today saying that, "I'm not eligible for financial aid", - apparently I'm not poor enough but I still can't afford to go to college. What the fuck kind of logic is that? Maybe it was a grim reminder that I suck balls. On top of that, I don't have a cosigner to take responsibility if I fail to 'default' on the college payments. So no new england tech for me.
Things with kels are pretty awkward. I feel guilty for liking her in spite of the fact that she has a boyfriend; she likes me too and now I understand how screwed up this sort of situation is. Although, even if she didn't have a boyfriend, I don't believe I'd be able to really move on with all the other things I'm dealing with. Especially after I've said a bunch of untrue stuff just so she wouldn't have to deal with my hopelessness anymore, and because I cared enough that I didn't want to end up hurting her. Now that I think about it, it feels like a mistake that I've made her hate me again. I could use somebody to talk to right now.