(no subject)

[emo_is_t3hsecks]

so I guess right now I should be happy but I'm still not really. I mean, sure, I could give amanda a chance or anyone for that matter, but it's like I'm not even interested anymore. I guess it could just be a thing that wears off eventually, but sometimes I think I'll just feel this way forever. and I suppose it's sort of the old me talking and complaining and wanting more, and I don't want to be that way anymore, but eh. it's cool that jaime's into someone else and stuff, she shouldn't be settling down with anyone right now anyway, but it just feels that I won't see her or talk to her at all that much and everyone wonders why it's such a big deal. it's because she's one of the only people who understands me and she's so much fun to chill with and talk to and it sucks that people kinda' don't feel the same way eventually. and yet I don't want to whine about this because I don't want to give people any problems and all I want to do is apologize for all the stupid shit I've done like it'll make any difference and not be remembered as someone who fucked up so badly. you know, I would be so fucking happy if I was one of her closer friends she hangs out with a lot so I wouldn't have to feel this way. I feel like an obsessed creep, but that's not how I want to be seen as. but I guess this is what happens when you take shit the wrong way.

I'm sorry for wanting a lot=[[

this is fgtry: not that I enjoy complaining to her
this is fgtry: you must hate me for bringing her up so much
amanda is onnn: nah whatever id ont really care

WOW. okay, see? amanda rly doesn't seem worth it