"take a deep breath... & let it all out."

[emo_enright]

so i think im getting closer at figuring out exactly what i want to do with my life. im also getting annoyed at how incredibly lazy i am. i do things, but i dont think i do enough. i want to meet more people. work is going really well. krisy came in with her mom & dad last night & it was so great to see them. i love their whole family. ive been spending alot of time alone in the appartment. erna is still at home, kait is either working or mia, & brit works during the day, when i work during the night. i cant sleep in, & i cant go back to bed, so i do a lot of nothing during the day. that needs to change. i also cant wait to really decorate this place. its going to be hard because we know what we wantto do but we dont really have what most people call "dollars". yeah so cheap cheap but elegant is what we're looking for. i like talking on the phone with matt. it just seems alot different from last year. i think ive grown up. i dont know if its an immense change, but i do feel like i am different. i think i appreciate my friends more (i do, even if i dont show it) & im starting to realize that nothing is ever going to get done unless i start doing it myself. the lists that i make in my head need to start getting written down on paper & periodically i should be checking things off. accomplishing goals that is. its simple enough: get good grades, work hard, party hard, make and keep good/worthwhile friends, & remind myself over and over again how lucky i am to have such a wonderful boyfriend. we had another month-aversary the other day. seventeen months & i still cant get enough of him. i just want to be the best over all person i can be. i dont want to compare myself to other people, i just want to be able to look at myself & my accomplishments & know that i put everthing i had into them. that i did everything i could with what i had.

i have some goals. to say the least.
& it feels good to get that all out.

ps. the new laguna beach looks awful ... but i know i'll watch it anyway lol