Scrawl Calibur- Two Week Theme Set P/K
Title: Scrawl Calibur- Two Week Theme Set P/K
Author: emo_chick_87
Pairing,Character(s): Puck/Kurt
Rating: G-R
Word Count: 5264
Spoilers: Season 2
Genre: Angst/Romance
Warnings: a homophobic slur, sexual situations, talk of previous domestic violence.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.
Summary: Written for a two week theme set at scrawl_calibur. 14 drabbles of about 500 words each, give or take.
AN: n/a
Dance- Two Step
They have spent years learning this dance. The elegant two-step of love. The fox-trot of building a family. The flamenco of making love spark off their colliding rib cages. The stars blink brightly in night sky. From his spot in the backyard, Kurt can hear Emily laughing wildly in the kitchen. Her drunken, bubbly giggle tells him it's because she's had a bit too much champagne.
For the first time in his life the suit he's wearing feels wrong against his skin. Tears spring to his eyes and he gulps the last bit of his vodka martini. Noah seems to sense his angst from inside the house. He walks out onto the patio and sees Kurt sulking. His eyes shine with unshed tears.
He offers his hand to him, just like he did twenty-five years ago. Kurt takes it just as easily as he did that first day. Kurt curls into his embrace and they sway softly side to side. Kurt forehead is pressed firmly into Noah's shoulder and his breath bounces off the skin of his collarbone. Kurt sniffled loudly before raising his head to look at Noah.
“Can you believe it?” Kurt whispered.
“I know, right? Little Emily actually got married.” Puck chuckled.
“You do know, this officially make us old.”
“Pesshh, we could never be old, babe. We are just distinguished gentlemen. We don't even have any gray, yet.”
“Yeah, well according to our daughter we have about ten months to start getting ready for the idea of being grandparents. She is determined to get pregnant on her honeymoon.”
Puck tried to break away from Kurt, intent of kicking his new son-in-law's ass. “Where's Jake? I'll kill the little prick.”
Kurt giggled as he pulled Puck back into his arms. “Babe, that's what married people do.”
Another screeching giggle broke out from the house and they shared a soft look before Puck pressed their foreheads together. Swaying under the starlight, their lips would dip down for a kiss every few minutes.
Their steps didn't always match and their only music was the excited laugh of their baby girl. They have spent years learning this dance.
Alone- Of Tea Parties and Bad Words
Kurt Hummel was use to being alone. He would plan elegant tea parties for friends he never had. He spent hours planning all the wonderful things that would happen when he got friends. He spent hours listening to his mom's old Judy Garland records and making homemade invitations to his birthday party. He hand delivered every single one of them personally. Before his mommy died she taught him all about manners and being a good host.
The day of the party, his picked out his favorite bow tie and waited by the door. The doorbell rang and Burt chuckled at the way the tap shoes clicked on the hardwood floor. No one was there when Kurt finally open the door. One of his lace invitations was sitting on the front porch. A word he hadn't heard before was written over the part that said Kurt Hummel Cordially Invites You To His Eighth Birthday Party. He doesn't know what a fag is but the way his daddy's hand clenches around the expensive paper makes him know he never wants to be one.
His dad gets really quiet and the tension forces Kurt down to his new room in the basement. He stays sitting on the edge of his bed. The tips of his shoes don't quite reach the floor and the scrapping sound they make with every swing of his legs, drown out the soft sniffles that force themselves out of his throat. His tears make it hard to see the fancily dressed table across the room. He walks to run his fingers over the linen tablecloth. His hands trace the soft edge of his mom's good china.
He doesn't hear the door open until he gives into temptation and sits down with a shortbread cookie in his mouth. He thinks it's just his dad coming down to tell him that things will get better soon and that being alone can build character. He doesn't expect Noah Puckerman to sit down next to him.
Noah's left hand is holding a small poorly wrapped present and his right fiddles with a dessert fork. His eyes dart nervously around the room but can't help being drawn back to Kurt's trembling chin. He can hear him mumbling to himself but Noah can't quite make out the words.
“What are ya talkin' about?”
Kurt's eyebrows pull together and his breath hitches. “I just don't like being alone.”
They stay quiet for a long time. Kurt can't tear his eyes away from the sad china setting in front of him and Noah can't take his eyes off of Kurt. When Noah finally talks again, Kurt winces in shock.
“You're not, you know?”
“I'm not, what?”
“Alone.”
Kurt can barely hear his whisper. Noah isn't sure why he does it but he feels like it's the right thing to do. His palm is sweaty against Kurt's soft hand but the way Kurt links their fingers together, Noah knows he got it right.
Miss- The Way To A Man's Heart
Puck once heard that a man can fall in love with someone the minute he sees that person interact with his family. Noah Puckerman was a hardcore badass. He was also the world's biggest Mama's boy. The fact Kurt could breeze into their little home and act like he's always belonged there makes his heart swell in his chest.
His ma blushes when Kurt calls her beautiful and compliments her cooking. Puck rolls the burnt pasta around his mouth as he tries to fight a smile. The bright grin that breaks out on her face makes Puck love Kurt even more.
Mia spends the entire meal gazing starry-eyed at Kurt. Her eyelashes flutter and she makes throwaway comments about how pretty Kurt's hair is. Kurt takes two servings of the overcooked pasta and spends an hour and a half helping Mia with her math homework.
His ma leaves for work just after Puck and Kurt finish the dishes. She kisses them both on the cheek and whispers that she expects to see Kurt around there a lot more from now on. Kurt ducks his head as the blush takes over his cheeks but he promises that he's here to stay.
The slow way Kurt slides on his peacoat makes Puck realize how reluctant he is to leave. Kurt's wrapping his long scarf around his neck when Mia pulls the end of it. He leans down and she whispers in his ear. His face softens for a minute before he whispers his response. Her face looks disappointed for a second but then her face lights up in a smile. She nods to him before pressing a loud kiss to Kurt's cheek.
Mia runs from the room giggling and for the first time all night he's got Kurt alone. Puck presses his forehead to Kurt's and sighs as Kurt's arm snake around his waist.
“What did she say?”
Kurt closes his eyes and inhales Puck's scent. “She asked me if I could be her husband.”
Puck pokes him in the ribs. “Oh, yeah? Am I going to have to fight my own sister?”
“No. I told her that I was already taken. But we compromised. She's going to be my favorite girl and you'll be my favorite boy.”
Puck kissed him softly before leading him to the door. “That seems fair.”
Puck doesn't leave his spot by the door until he sees Kurt's Navigator turn the corner out of sight. He feels the small hand lock onto his and he barely hears her quiet whisper.
“I miss Kurt.”
“I know, baby girl. I miss him too.”
Puck picks her up and hugs her hard to his chest. He settles her on his hip before heading back into the kitchen to make them both ice cream sundaes. Mia falls asleep with chocolate on her face and Puck falls asleep with a smile on his.
Noah Puckerman was a hardcore badass. He was the world's biggest Mama's boy. And he was the boy that loves Kurt Hummel.
Yeah, he can live with that.
Wait- Big Beds and Long Waits
His foot bounces up and down fast enough to make the table shake. The passersby give him a sideways look and grimace before walking away. His stubble burns his hand as he runs his hands over his face for the eighth time that day. The face of his watch mocks him it shows him only three minutes have passed since the last time he looked.
His eyes threaten to droop shut and he fights to stay awake. Five days alone in that big bed have left him sleepless. The huge empty space echoing like the drops of water that fell from the kitchen faucet and kept him awake. His stomach growls as he fights to remember the last time he ate.
He's been waiting three hours. His finger hovering over the send button on his phone. Threatening to break the rules they set before Kurt left. That they wouldn't let themselves be that kind of couple. That Kurt could go to a huge important job interview that could change both of their lives and Puck had to wait until he got home to find out.
He doesn't even notice that the plane has landed. The baggage carousel starts to turn and it snaps him out of his funk. Kurt is dressed in his best suit. Charcoal gray and cut to fit. Stylish black boots echo loudly in the terminal and his face glows in the sun coming through the glass windows.
Kurt tosses his carry-on to the side and leaps into Puck's arms. He kisses him fiercely before pulling back to smile at Puck. With his leg locked around Puck's waist, he is completely silent.
“So.... San Francisco?” Puck asks, cautiously.
Kurt nods quickly. “San Francisco.”
Puck kisses Kurt again. Soon Kurt will bitch at Puck for not shaving or eating or getting enough sleep. They make love on the living room floor and spend hours watching bad movies. They'll wait until they think the other one is sleeping to whisper about how lonely they were.
There's time for all of that later but for now.... San Francisco.
Rush- Salt, Love and Time
He'll never forget what it feels like. The slick slide of tongue. The soft press of lips. The sharp shock of teeth. The rush of knowing, he's finally letting you do this. Puck doesn't take any of it for granted. They're three years in. Puck has spent those years cataloging all the ways Kurt has moaned, hissed, groaned, panted, and whimpered. Fuckin whimpered. Puck did that. He managed to get close enough to something inside Kurt that let him make that beautiful noise.
He watched as tears leaked from the covers of Kurt's eyes. The shuddered gasp of pleasure. The bowed back of orgasm. Tasted the salty slide of Kurt's pleasure on his tongue. After Kurt comes for the second time in a night, he always shakes. His body trembles in the most delicious way and Puck has to remember not to push passed the third. After the third Kurt gets too sensitive and Puck has to make do with licking the evidence off of Kurt skin.
The truth of it is, he knows every inch of Kurt. Every ticklish area. Every part that he's self-conscious about. Every spot that will bring them both to their knees if Puck's touches it. He knows he's lucky he gets to know Kurt like this. Gets to see all that pale flesh. Get to leave his mark on that skin. He knows and he's grateful every single day. Grateful for a fateful game of spin the bottle. Grateful for park bench kisses and holding hands on the slide.
The slick slide of tongue. The soft press of lips. The sharp shock of teeth.
He'll never forget what it feels like.
Scent- Scents for Sleeping
The first time they sleep together Puck wakes up smelling like the sea. He's not sure how it happens but Kurt makes him smell like the Pacific Ocean.
The second time they sleep together Puck wakes up smelling like fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. He smells like heat and home and Christmas.
The third time they sleep together Puck wakes up smelling like black licorice and honey. Kurt makes him smell like Spanish class and glee club.
The fourth time they sleep together Puck wakes up smelling like jasmine. Kurt makes him smell like summer time and Joni Mitchell on the radio and swimming pools.
The fifth time they sleep together is the first time they spend the night exploring each other. Puck waked up smelling like Kurt. Kurt makes him smell like promise and sex and love.
Every time they sleep together, Kurt wakes up smelling like Puck. Puck makes him smell like boy and Coco Puffs and the heavy wetness of summer.
Every morning Kurt never even misses the smells he put on the night before. Every morning he wakes up smelling exactly like he was meant to smell.
Remember- Cute Boys and Tea Parties
Noah used to go on adventures. He would stuff his backpack full of essentials and explore the wilderness in other people's backyards. His little legs wouldn't take him that far but he could always make it to the Hummel house. He'd watch the cute boy from behind the fence. Sometime he would be playing catch with his dad. Sometimes he was throwing tea parties. That day was a tea party day.
For the first time, Noah can't stay behind the fence. He scrambles over the wood and the cute boy gasps when he lands on the other side. Noah doesn't say anything to him. He just sits down and grabs a sugar cookie. The cute boy pours him sweet-tasting tea and smiles at him. Noah offers him some of his goldfish crackers and laughs at the confused face that follows. The cute boy frowns when he sees what goldfish crackers are but he eats one away. His frown shift to surprise and Noah lets him eat the rest.
The cute boy introduces him to all the other people at the party. Noah's favorite is Mr. Purple People Eater. Noah doesn't get to stay long. The cute boy's dad leans out the back door.
“Kurt, dinner's ready. Your friend has to go home.”
The cute boy is named Kurt. Kurt is Noah's friend. Kurt makes the best sugar cookies he's ever had.
Noah used to go on adventures. Now he goes to tea parties.
Whisper- Confidence And Teenage Soap Operas
His absence whispers across Puck's skin. The dread of loneliness has never been so thick. He watched Kurt walk away. He kept his mouth shut as people let him go. As Mr. Schue didn't stop Karofsky. As people wouldn't show him just how much he was loved. As his father almost died. Puck was the one that loved Kurt best. He was the one that failed him the worst.
Kurt didn't know that Puck would lie away at night and dream of what it might be like to kiss him. Kurt had no idea that Puck imagined a whole life for them. Full of Broadway plays and shower sex and kissing for no reason. Seeing Kurt at Sectionals was enough to make him drive three hours at the ass crack of dawn to bring him home.
The high walls that surrounded the school would have made lesser men cower in fear. Noah Puckerman might be in love with a dude but he was the baddest badass that had ever loved a dude. And he watched a documentary about the Stonewall Riots so he knew how badass dude-loving dudes could be.
Kurt is absentmindedly picking at an everything bagel and cringing at the smell it leaves on his fingers. Puck's eyes dart around. If he's doing this, he's doing it big. He sees the coffee cart and jumps on top of it before he can stop himself.
“Kurt Elizabeth Hummel. I'm in big gay love with you” Puck's voice bounces off of the high ceilings and every eye turns on him.
“Noah Puckerman, what the hell are you doing?” Kurt's voice is so high pitched he's surprised he even heard it. His cheeks flame red.
“I'm emulating one of my Jewish brothers and declaring my love in a badass way.”
Kurt stomps over to him and grabs his hand. The shock of Kurt's skin sliding against his is enough to distract him and Kurt manages to make it out of the mess hall before he pushes Puck against the wall.
“You are not Seth Cohen and I am not Summer Roberts. If you came here to humiliate me, mission accomplished, okay?”
“I didn't come here to humiliate you. I came here to bring you home.” Puck hates how desperate he just sounded
“This is home, for now. You have to leave.”
“Well, I'm not leaving without you. I hope this place has a decent football team. Do you think they'll let us be roommates?” Puck crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the wall. “Don't you get it, Kurt? I'll protect you. I always protect the people I love.”
“You don't get to come in here and say you love me. Who the fuck do you think you are? You can't love me. I have a dick, remember. That's kind of a deal breaker for painfully straight boys.” Kurt's finger pokes him the chest and his eyes are almost crossed in anger. Puck grabs his finger and pulls Kurt against him.
Kurt's eyes widen in shock as Puck leans down towards him. “Wha...what are you doing?”
Puck's lips hover above Kurt and his breath skates over his bottom lip with every word. “I'm waiting for you to take what I'm offering.” His mouth quirks as he quotes The OC a hairs breath away from Kurt's flushed cheek. “Confidence, Hummel. Confidence.”
Kurt's lip twitches for a moment before he closes the distance and takes everything Puck is offering and then grabs a hold of a couple things Puck hadn't even thought to offer. Puck whimpers in a very badass way.
In the end, Puck doesn't wind up transferring to Dalton. Kurt getting kicked out for tonguing a dude in the grand foyer pretty much put the kibosh on that plan.
Fear- The Whole Night
Noah Puckerman lived his life in fear. Cowering in the corner as his father's fists flew in the other room. Spending the night in his baby sister's room, staring at the ceiling. The gripping fear that she might stop breathing forcing him to lay beside her crib, counting the rise and fall of her chest.
Every time his ma left for work, he was sure she wasn't coming back. Days when he didn't have school he would sit by the window and watch the driveway until she came back. By junior high he was scared someone might find out that he liked boys. By high school he was scared of angry husbands and fathers slamming through bedroom doors.
Of all the ways he'd experienced fear, no one scared him more than Kurt Hummel. Kurt just wanted to be his friend. Letting him stay in his room if Finn was too busy to hang out. Spending hours learning how much the had in common. Days of Puck trying to tell Kurt that he liked boy the same way Kurt liked boys. Hours of stumbled words and tripping over his own lips. All ended by Kurt softly whispered, I know.
Kurt kisses Puck first. The shy, tentative press is braver than anything Puck's been able to do. When they fall asleep beside each other for the first time, Puck isn't scared to close his eyes. He knows that Kurt is going to be there when he wakes up.
Kurt makes Puck want to count someone's breaths because you're so close you can't help it. That night, before the smooth rhythm lulls his to sleep, he counts every single one.
Race- Sprints and Long Distances
His legs feel like they're on fire. The wind whips at his face as the cheering tries to penetrate the rushing pound of his heart in his ears. The excitement and blood rush through his veins. He can feel every way his body has gotten stronger after he started training. The orange, dusty gravel whips up around his ankles and his breath is greedy for the cool spring air.
This is the reason he woke up at four am every morning. This was the reason he would sacrifice a few extra hours wrapped in Puck's arms. This was the reason he suffered the sling and arrows of being on the track team. A decision that put him even further down the totem pole than glee.
He's the first one off the mark as soon as the shot rings out. He's been running drills in his backyard every night to ensure just that. He leaves his competitors in the dust. When he's running he doesn't think about the words thrown at him daily. He doesn't think about the solos he didn't get or the fact that the boy he loves is still in the closet. He doesn't even care that he's sweating in public or wearing short shorts.
This meet is more important than any other. If he stays ahead, they'll take State for the first time in twenty years. He moves with a powerful grace that catches everyone off guard. The stands are full for the first time since Kurt started running and the crowd propels his forward.
The thin ribbon hitting his chest stops him like a brick wall. His legs seize the minute he crosses the finish line and he throws his arms up in tired victory.
The race is over and his vision swims with unshed tears. He doesn't see Puck rushing towards him. He doesn't see the shocked faces of the onlookers. All he sees is Puck crashing into him and bending him back into a heated kiss.
When Puck kisses him he doesn't think about all the things he was told he'd never have. He doesn't think about bullies or busted lips. All he knows is heat, love and the fact the boy he loves isn't in the closet anymore.
Learn- Old Dreams and New Skills
He promised himself he was going to learn how to do this. It wasn't entirely his fault he hadn't pick up this skill before. He'd never thought he'd need it. He wasn't a Puck Head and his ma sure as shit wasn't taking them to the rink when they were kids.
The darkness hangs over him. He had to pick the lock to get in here but he couldn't risk anyone seeing him try this. The cold nips at his nose and turns his cheeks red. His leg slip out from under him. The pain crashes up his tailbone and settles at the base of his spine. For the sixth time he asks himself why the fuck he's doing this in the first place but then he remembers.
The week before he'd overheard Mercedes and Kurt describing their perfect Valentine's day dates. Puck chuckled to himself as she described his idea of a perfect date. Laser tag, pizza and making out. If he wasn't head over heels in love with Kurt, he would think that it was time to give Mercedes her dream date. Instead, he just filed it away until Finn grabbed a clue and asked him how to win the coolest chick at McKinley. But his boyfriend's shy, soft whisper made him forget about all that. He talked about how he always dreamed about going ice skating, having a picnic on the ice and kissing the boy he loved while they were wearing their mittens. Mercedes said that this just might be the year his dream comes true. The shake of Kurt's head makes Puck break into the ice rink that night.
After he falls for the twenty-fifth time, he is finally able to put three long strides together before he makes it twenty-six. By the time Valentine's Day rolls around his ass is bruised and maybe a bit of his pride is too. The smile that lights up Kurt's face when he sees the blanket laying on the ice and the awkward slide of Puck on skates makes it worth a bit of battered pride.
When Kurt kisses him with their mittens on, Puck realizes that this was kinda his dream too.
Hands- He Knows
Puck thinks he's probably loved Kurt for a long time. Why else would he spend Saturday afternoon following Kurt around the mall? Why else would he put on his best Temple outfit and meet Kurt's dad? Why else would he promise Kurt the minute before they kissed that he wouldn't kiss anyone else? He has loved Kurt forever. It just that his brain didn't catch up right away. He doesn't know for sure until he overhears Brittney talking about Kurt with Santana.
“Fuck, I fucked my hand up again.”
“San, you should find Kurt. His hands are baby soft. He has goat's milk or something. It smells but it works, see?” Brittney's soft voice trails off a bit as she runs her hand down Santana's face. Puck backs away because he knows what's about to happen. The squeak of surprise makes him smile as he turns around the corner.
The more he thinks about it, the more he realizes that Britt is wrong. Kurt's hands are soft, sure. The kid puts enough lotion on them to keep Puck in jerk-mode of days. But the soft only magnifies the rough. Like the thin scar on the outside of his right thumb. Kurt got that peeling radishes in the kitchen skin with his Grandma Hummel. Or the freckle he has just under his forefinger on the palm of his left hand. Or the slight callouses that dance along his finger tips, a testament to how much time he actually spent under the hood of a car. Britt really had no idea what she's talking about.
The thought hits Puck right in the gut. Of course Britt doesn't know what she's talking about. Kurt never let her get close enough to see the tiny imperfections that mark his skin. She's never seen the strawberry birthmark hiding under his hair. She's never heard the weird snoring thing he does if he's having a bad dream. She has no idea that the only reason he uses that goat's milk lotion is because it smells like how his mom used to smell.
But Puck knows. He knows enough to never mention grease he sees under Kurt's fingernails. He knows enough to make sure a salad never has radishes on it. He's even started to crave the smell of that lotion.
Kurt meets him in the hallway. His fingers laces with Puck's and he knows. His palm rest against the left hand freckle and his thumb skims over the right hand scar. Garage-callouses rest on the top of his hand and he knows that night he'll fall asleep smelling like Kurt's lotion.
Puck's been in love with Kurt forever. His brain just needed some time to catch up.
Want- Want, Need, Have
Want is something Noah Puckerman is acutely familiar with. He wants a lot of things. He gets most of them too. He wants hot girls and hot guys. He want fast cars and loud music. He wants non-kosher meat and one night stands in back alleys. His problem was never with want. His problem was need.
He needs things too much. He needs them so much he never lets himself ask for them. He longs for a hug that makes him feel weak. He prays for the day he can fall asleep in someone's arms. He needs the day when he doesn't have to fight anymore. When life can be about this moment. About kissing someone goodbye because they're heading to work instead of the ones he's used to. The ones where kissing someone goodbye meant he was never going to see them again. He needs the day that struggle doesn't hit against his skin. Where he can walk around feeling like he's worth something.
But sometimes what he wants and what he needs are the same thing. When Kurt kisses him goodbye, he always knows he'll see him again. When Kurt begs for the chance to make out behind the school, Puck feels ten feet tall. When Kurt has a nightmare, he'll wrap his arms so tight around Puck's middle that he has to fight for breath. He can live in the moment and think about the future. He doesn't have to fight when he's with Kurt.
Kurt is want and need and have all wrapped into one.
Pretend- Hallways, Always
Puck pretends he doesn't have Kurt's phone number memorized. He pretends he doesn't know that if Kurt gets angry he tastes different. He pretends he doesn't long to fall asleep beside him. He pretends he's satisfied with the quickies they grab. In the janitors closet or the locker room or in the choir room after everyone leaves. He's good at pretending until the day that he's not so good.
That day Karofsky walks in on them. Puck's arms are locked around Kurt neck and Kurt's hips snap wildly into Puck. The smirk on his face tells Puck he thinks he just gained the upper hand in a fight Puck didn't even know they were a part of. Karofsky stares a little too long and Puck can feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.
After he leaves, Kurt starts the slow pull away that meant he thought this was over. Puck was so shocked he didn't even try to stop him. Kurt always said that keeping quiet about them was about keeping Puck safe. Now Puck understood why he was so sure they need protecting.
Walking around the halls alone make him feel like a coward. From the other end of the hall he can see that Karofsky has Kurt pressed against the lockers. Kurt's eyes don't even bother searching for help. Puck accidentally runs into Rachel as he barrels down the hallway. Her shocked gasps becomes the soundtrack to his coming out. He's not thinking about much. All he knows is mine, don't touch and baby, I'm coming.
His body hits Karofsky with a sickening thud and the force of the blow knocks Karofsky out cold. The crumpled heap lays forgotten behind him as he stands to walk back to Kurt. His face is shocked and terrified. Puck's hand frame his face.
“Baby, are you okay? Do I need to make this fucker dead?” Puck's soft voice echoes in the deathly silent hallway. Kurt's head shakes softly in his hands and Puck can see the relief fill Kurt's features.
The kiss is light and barely there. But it's the first one in public and Kurt doesn't pull away.
Puck was good at pretending that he didn't know what Kurt tasted like or smelled like or liked to eat on his pizza. He was really good at it...until the day he wasn't.
Author: emo_chick_87
Pairing,Character(s): Puck/Kurt
Rating: G-R
Word Count: 5264
Spoilers: Season 2
Genre: Angst/Romance
Warnings: a homophobic slur, sexual situations, talk of previous domestic violence.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.
Summary: Written for a two week theme set at scrawl_calibur. 14 drabbles of about 500 words each, give or take.
AN: n/a
Dance- Two Step
They have spent years learning this dance. The elegant two-step of love. The fox-trot of building a family. The flamenco of making love spark off their colliding rib cages. The stars blink brightly in night sky. From his spot in the backyard, Kurt can hear Emily laughing wildly in the kitchen. Her drunken, bubbly giggle tells him it's because she's had a bit too much champagne.
For the first time in his life the suit he's wearing feels wrong against his skin. Tears spring to his eyes and he gulps the last bit of his vodka martini. Noah seems to sense his angst from inside the house. He walks out onto the patio and sees Kurt sulking. His eyes shine with unshed tears.
He offers his hand to him, just like he did twenty-five years ago. Kurt takes it just as easily as he did that first day. Kurt curls into his embrace and they sway softly side to side. Kurt forehead is pressed firmly into Noah's shoulder and his breath bounces off the skin of his collarbone. Kurt sniffled loudly before raising his head to look at Noah.
“Can you believe it?” Kurt whispered.
“I know, right? Little Emily actually got married.” Puck chuckled.
“You do know, this officially make us old.”
“Pesshh, we could never be old, babe. We are just distinguished gentlemen. We don't even have any gray, yet.”
“Yeah, well according to our daughter we have about ten months to start getting ready for the idea of being grandparents. She is determined to get pregnant on her honeymoon.”
Puck tried to break away from Kurt, intent of kicking his new son-in-law's ass. “Where's Jake? I'll kill the little prick.”
Kurt giggled as he pulled Puck back into his arms. “Babe, that's what married people do.”
Another screeching giggle broke out from the house and they shared a soft look before Puck pressed their foreheads together. Swaying under the starlight, their lips would dip down for a kiss every few minutes.
Their steps didn't always match and their only music was the excited laugh of their baby girl. They have spent years learning this dance.
Alone- Of Tea Parties and Bad Words
Kurt Hummel was use to being alone. He would plan elegant tea parties for friends he never had. He spent hours planning all the wonderful things that would happen when he got friends. He spent hours listening to his mom's old Judy Garland records and making homemade invitations to his birthday party. He hand delivered every single one of them personally. Before his mommy died she taught him all about manners and being a good host.
The day of the party, his picked out his favorite bow tie and waited by the door. The doorbell rang and Burt chuckled at the way the tap shoes clicked on the hardwood floor. No one was there when Kurt finally open the door. One of his lace invitations was sitting on the front porch. A word he hadn't heard before was written over the part that said Kurt Hummel Cordially Invites You To His Eighth Birthday Party. He doesn't know what a fag is but the way his daddy's hand clenches around the expensive paper makes him know he never wants to be one.
His dad gets really quiet and the tension forces Kurt down to his new room in the basement. He stays sitting on the edge of his bed. The tips of his shoes don't quite reach the floor and the scrapping sound they make with every swing of his legs, drown out the soft sniffles that force themselves out of his throat. His tears make it hard to see the fancily dressed table across the room. He walks to run his fingers over the linen tablecloth. His hands trace the soft edge of his mom's good china.
He doesn't hear the door open until he gives into temptation and sits down with a shortbread cookie in his mouth. He thinks it's just his dad coming down to tell him that things will get better soon and that being alone can build character. He doesn't expect Noah Puckerman to sit down next to him.
Noah's left hand is holding a small poorly wrapped present and his right fiddles with a dessert fork. His eyes dart nervously around the room but can't help being drawn back to Kurt's trembling chin. He can hear him mumbling to himself but Noah can't quite make out the words.
“What are ya talkin' about?”
Kurt's eyebrows pull together and his breath hitches. “I just don't like being alone.”
They stay quiet for a long time. Kurt can't tear his eyes away from the sad china setting in front of him and Noah can't take his eyes off of Kurt. When Noah finally talks again, Kurt winces in shock.
“You're not, you know?”
“I'm not, what?”
“Alone.”
Kurt can barely hear his whisper. Noah isn't sure why he does it but he feels like it's the right thing to do. His palm is sweaty against Kurt's soft hand but the way Kurt links their fingers together, Noah knows he got it right.
Miss- The Way To A Man's Heart
Puck once heard that a man can fall in love with someone the minute he sees that person interact with his family. Noah Puckerman was a hardcore badass. He was also the world's biggest Mama's boy. The fact Kurt could breeze into their little home and act like he's always belonged there makes his heart swell in his chest.
His ma blushes when Kurt calls her beautiful and compliments her cooking. Puck rolls the burnt pasta around his mouth as he tries to fight a smile. The bright grin that breaks out on her face makes Puck love Kurt even more.
Mia spends the entire meal gazing starry-eyed at Kurt. Her eyelashes flutter and she makes throwaway comments about how pretty Kurt's hair is. Kurt takes two servings of the overcooked pasta and spends an hour and a half helping Mia with her math homework.
His ma leaves for work just after Puck and Kurt finish the dishes. She kisses them both on the cheek and whispers that she expects to see Kurt around there a lot more from now on. Kurt ducks his head as the blush takes over his cheeks but he promises that he's here to stay.
The slow way Kurt slides on his peacoat makes Puck realize how reluctant he is to leave. Kurt's wrapping his long scarf around his neck when Mia pulls the end of it. He leans down and she whispers in his ear. His face softens for a minute before he whispers his response. Her face looks disappointed for a second but then her face lights up in a smile. She nods to him before pressing a loud kiss to Kurt's cheek.
Mia runs from the room giggling and for the first time all night he's got Kurt alone. Puck presses his forehead to Kurt's and sighs as Kurt's arm snake around his waist.
“What did she say?”
Kurt closes his eyes and inhales Puck's scent. “She asked me if I could be her husband.”
Puck pokes him in the ribs. “Oh, yeah? Am I going to have to fight my own sister?”
“No. I told her that I was already taken. But we compromised. She's going to be my favorite girl and you'll be my favorite boy.”
Puck kissed him softly before leading him to the door. “That seems fair.”
Puck doesn't leave his spot by the door until he sees Kurt's Navigator turn the corner out of sight. He feels the small hand lock onto his and he barely hears her quiet whisper.
“I miss Kurt.”
“I know, baby girl. I miss him too.”
Puck picks her up and hugs her hard to his chest. He settles her on his hip before heading back into the kitchen to make them both ice cream sundaes. Mia falls asleep with chocolate on her face and Puck falls asleep with a smile on his.
Noah Puckerman was a hardcore badass. He was the world's biggest Mama's boy. And he was the boy that loves Kurt Hummel.
Yeah, he can live with that.
Wait- Big Beds and Long Waits
His foot bounces up and down fast enough to make the table shake. The passersby give him a sideways look and grimace before walking away. His stubble burns his hand as he runs his hands over his face for the eighth time that day. The face of his watch mocks him it shows him only three minutes have passed since the last time he looked.
His eyes threaten to droop shut and he fights to stay awake. Five days alone in that big bed have left him sleepless. The huge empty space echoing like the drops of water that fell from the kitchen faucet and kept him awake. His stomach growls as he fights to remember the last time he ate.
He's been waiting three hours. His finger hovering over the send button on his phone. Threatening to break the rules they set before Kurt left. That they wouldn't let themselves be that kind of couple. That Kurt could go to a huge important job interview that could change both of their lives and Puck had to wait until he got home to find out.
He doesn't even notice that the plane has landed. The baggage carousel starts to turn and it snaps him out of his funk. Kurt is dressed in his best suit. Charcoal gray and cut to fit. Stylish black boots echo loudly in the terminal and his face glows in the sun coming through the glass windows.
Kurt tosses his carry-on to the side and leaps into Puck's arms. He kisses him fiercely before pulling back to smile at Puck. With his leg locked around Puck's waist, he is completely silent.
“So.... San Francisco?” Puck asks, cautiously.
Kurt nods quickly. “San Francisco.”
Puck kisses Kurt again. Soon Kurt will bitch at Puck for not shaving or eating or getting enough sleep. They make love on the living room floor and spend hours watching bad movies. They'll wait until they think the other one is sleeping to whisper about how lonely they were.
There's time for all of that later but for now.... San Francisco.
Rush- Salt, Love and Time
He'll never forget what it feels like. The slick slide of tongue. The soft press of lips. The sharp shock of teeth. The rush of knowing, he's finally letting you do this. Puck doesn't take any of it for granted. They're three years in. Puck has spent those years cataloging all the ways Kurt has moaned, hissed, groaned, panted, and whimpered. Fuckin whimpered. Puck did that. He managed to get close enough to something inside Kurt that let him make that beautiful noise.
He watched as tears leaked from the covers of Kurt's eyes. The shuddered gasp of pleasure. The bowed back of orgasm. Tasted the salty slide of Kurt's pleasure on his tongue. After Kurt comes for the second time in a night, he always shakes. His body trembles in the most delicious way and Puck has to remember not to push passed the third. After the third Kurt gets too sensitive and Puck has to make do with licking the evidence off of Kurt skin.
The truth of it is, he knows every inch of Kurt. Every ticklish area. Every part that he's self-conscious about. Every spot that will bring them both to their knees if Puck's touches it. He knows he's lucky he gets to know Kurt like this. Gets to see all that pale flesh. Get to leave his mark on that skin. He knows and he's grateful every single day. Grateful for a fateful game of spin the bottle. Grateful for park bench kisses and holding hands on the slide.
The slick slide of tongue. The soft press of lips. The sharp shock of teeth.
He'll never forget what it feels like.
Scent- Scents for Sleeping
The first time they sleep together Puck wakes up smelling like the sea. He's not sure how it happens but Kurt makes him smell like the Pacific Ocean.
The second time they sleep together Puck wakes up smelling like fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. He smells like heat and home and Christmas.
The third time they sleep together Puck wakes up smelling like black licorice and honey. Kurt makes him smell like Spanish class and glee club.
The fourth time they sleep together Puck wakes up smelling like jasmine. Kurt makes him smell like summer time and Joni Mitchell on the radio and swimming pools.
The fifth time they sleep together is the first time they spend the night exploring each other. Puck waked up smelling like Kurt. Kurt makes him smell like promise and sex and love.
Every time they sleep together, Kurt wakes up smelling like Puck. Puck makes him smell like boy and Coco Puffs and the heavy wetness of summer.
Every morning Kurt never even misses the smells he put on the night before. Every morning he wakes up smelling exactly like he was meant to smell.
Remember- Cute Boys and Tea Parties
Noah used to go on adventures. He would stuff his backpack full of essentials and explore the wilderness in other people's backyards. His little legs wouldn't take him that far but he could always make it to the Hummel house. He'd watch the cute boy from behind the fence. Sometime he would be playing catch with his dad. Sometimes he was throwing tea parties. That day was a tea party day.
For the first time, Noah can't stay behind the fence. He scrambles over the wood and the cute boy gasps when he lands on the other side. Noah doesn't say anything to him. He just sits down and grabs a sugar cookie. The cute boy pours him sweet-tasting tea and smiles at him. Noah offers him some of his goldfish crackers and laughs at the confused face that follows. The cute boy frowns when he sees what goldfish crackers are but he eats one away. His frown shift to surprise and Noah lets him eat the rest.
The cute boy introduces him to all the other people at the party. Noah's favorite is Mr. Purple People Eater. Noah doesn't get to stay long. The cute boy's dad leans out the back door.
“Kurt, dinner's ready. Your friend has to go home.”
The cute boy is named Kurt. Kurt is Noah's friend. Kurt makes the best sugar cookies he's ever had.
Noah used to go on adventures. Now he goes to tea parties.
Whisper- Confidence And Teenage Soap Operas
His absence whispers across Puck's skin. The dread of loneliness has never been so thick. He watched Kurt walk away. He kept his mouth shut as people let him go. As Mr. Schue didn't stop Karofsky. As people wouldn't show him just how much he was loved. As his father almost died. Puck was the one that loved Kurt best. He was the one that failed him the worst.
Kurt didn't know that Puck would lie away at night and dream of what it might be like to kiss him. Kurt had no idea that Puck imagined a whole life for them. Full of Broadway plays and shower sex and kissing for no reason. Seeing Kurt at Sectionals was enough to make him drive three hours at the ass crack of dawn to bring him home.
The high walls that surrounded the school would have made lesser men cower in fear. Noah Puckerman might be in love with a dude but he was the baddest badass that had ever loved a dude. And he watched a documentary about the Stonewall Riots so he knew how badass dude-loving dudes could be.
Kurt is absentmindedly picking at an everything bagel and cringing at the smell it leaves on his fingers. Puck's eyes dart around. If he's doing this, he's doing it big. He sees the coffee cart and jumps on top of it before he can stop himself.
“Kurt Elizabeth Hummel. I'm in big gay love with you” Puck's voice bounces off of the high ceilings and every eye turns on him.
“Noah Puckerman, what the hell are you doing?” Kurt's voice is so high pitched he's surprised he even heard it. His cheeks flame red.
“I'm emulating one of my Jewish brothers and declaring my love in a badass way.”
Kurt stomps over to him and grabs his hand. The shock of Kurt's skin sliding against his is enough to distract him and Kurt manages to make it out of the mess hall before he pushes Puck against the wall.
“You are not Seth Cohen and I am not Summer Roberts. If you came here to humiliate me, mission accomplished, okay?”
“I didn't come here to humiliate you. I came here to bring you home.” Puck hates how desperate he just sounded
“This is home, for now. You have to leave.”
“Well, I'm not leaving without you. I hope this place has a decent football team. Do you think they'll let us be roommates?” Puck crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the wall. “Don't you get it, Kurt? I'll protect you. I always protect the people I love.”
“You don't get to come in here and say you love me. Who the fuck do you think you are? You can't love me. I have a dick, remember. That's kind of a deal breaker for painfully straight boys.” Kurt's finger pokes him the chest and his eyes are almost crossed in anger. Puck grabs his finger and pulls Kurt against him.
Kurt's eyes widen in shock as Puck leans down towards him. “Wha...what are you doing?”
Puck's lips hover above Kurt and his breath skates over his bottom lip with every word. “I'm waiting for you to take what I'm offering.” His mouth quirks as he quotes The OC a hairs breath away from Kurt's flushed cheek. “Confidence, Hummel. Confidence.”
Kurt's lip twitches for a moment before he closes the distance and takes everything Puck is offering and then grabs a hold of a couple things Puck hadn't even thought to offer. Puck whimpers in a very badass way.
In the end, Puck doesn't wind up transferring to Dalton. Kurt getting kicked out for tonguing a dude in the grand foyer pretty much put the kibosh on that plan.
Fear- The Whole Night
Noah Puckerman lived his life in fear. Cowering in the corner as his father's fists flew in the other room. Spending the night in his baby sister's room, staring at the ceiling. The gripping fear that she might stop breathing forcing him to lay beside her crib, counting the rise and fall of her chest.
Every time his ma left for work, he was sure she wasn't coming back. Days when he didn't have school he would sit by the window and watch the driveway until she came back. By junior high he was scared someone might find out that he liked boys. By high school he was scared of angry husbands and fathers slamming through bedroom doors.
Of all the ways he'd experienced fear, no one scared him more than Kurt Hummel. Kurt just wanted to be his friend. Letting him stay in his room if Finn was too busy to hang out. Spending hours learning how much the had in common. Days of Puck trying to tell Kurt that he liked boy the same way Kurt liked boys. Hours of stumbled words and tripping over his own lips. All ended by Kurt softly whispered, I know.
Kurt kisses Puck first. The shy, tentative press is braver than anything Puck's been able to do. When they fall asleep beside each other for the first time, Puck isn't scared to close his eyes. He knows that Kurt is going to be there when he wakes up.
Kurt makes Puck want to count someone's breaths because you're so close you can't help it. That night, before the smooth rhythm lulls his to sleep, he counts every single one.
Race- Sprints and Long Distances
His legs feel like they're on fire. The wind whips at his face as the cheering tries to penetrate the rushing pound of his heart in his ears. The excitement and blood rush through his veins. He can feel every way his body has gotten stronger after he started training. The orange, dusty gravel whips up around his ankles and his breath is greedy for the cool spring air.
This is the reason he woke up at four am every morning. This was the reason he would sacrifice a few extra hours wrapped in Puck's arms. This was the reason he suffered the sling and arrows of being on the track team. A decision that put him even further down the totem pole than glee.
He's the first one off the mark as soon as the shot rings out. He's been running drills in his backyard every night to ensure just that. He leaves his competitors in the dust. When he's running he doesn't think about the words thrown at him daily. He doesn't think about the solos he didn't get or the fact that the boy he loves is still in the closet. He doesn't even care that he's sweating in public or wearing short shorts.
This meet is more important than any other. If he stays ahead, they'll take State for the first time in twenty years. He moves with a powerful grace that catches everyone off guard. The stands are full for the first time since Kurt started running and the crowd propels his forward.
The thin ribbon hitting his chest stops him like a brick wall. His legs seize the minute he crosses the finish line and he throws his arms up in tired victory.
The race is over and his vision swims with unshed tears. He doesn't see Puck rushing towards him. He doesn't see the shocked faces of the onlookers. All he sees is Puck crashing into him and bending him back into a heated kiss.
When Puck kisses him he doesn't think about all the things he was told he'd never have. He doesn't think about bullies or busted lips. All he knows is heat, love and the fact the boy he loves isn't in the closet anymore.
Learn- Old Dreams and New Skills
He promised himself he was going to learn how to do this. It wasn't entirely his fault he hadn't pick up this skill before. He'd never thought he'd need it. He wasn't a Puck Head and his ma sure as shit wasn't taking them to the rink when they were kids.
The darkness hangs over him. He had to pick the lock to get in here but he couldn't risk anyone seeing him try this. The cold nips at his nose and turns his cheeks red. His leg slip out from under him. The pain crashes up his tailbone and settles at the base of his spine. For the sixth time he asks himself why the fuck he's doing this in the first place but then he remembers.
The week before he'd overheard Mercedes and Kurt describing their perfect Valentine's day dates. Puck chuckled to himself as she described his idea of a perfect date. Laser tag, pizza and making out. If he wasn't head over heels in love with Kurt, he would think that it was time to give Mercedes her dream date. Instead, he just filed it away until Finn grabbed a clue and asked him how to win the coolest chick at McKinley. But his boyfriend's shy, soft whisper made him forget about all that. He talked about how he always dreamed about going ice skating, having a picnic on the ice and kissing the boy he loved while they were wearing their mittens. Mercedes said that this just might be the year his dream comes true. The shake of Kurt's head makes Puck break into the ice rink that night.
After he falls for the twenty-fifth time, he is finally able to put three long strides together before he makes it twenty-six. By the time Valentine's Day rolls around his ass is bruised and maybe a bit of his pride is too. The smile that lights up Kurt's face when he sees the blanket laying on the ice and the awkward slide of Puck on skates makes it worth a bit of battered pride.
When Kurt kisses him with their mittens on, Puck realizes that this was kinda his dream too.
Hands- He Knows
Puck thinks he's probably loved Kurt for a long time. Why else would he spend Saturday afternoon following Kurt around the mall? Why else would he put on his best Temple outfit and meet Kurt's dad? Why else would he promise Kurt the minute before they kissed that he wouldn't kiss anyone else? He has loved Kurt forever. It just that his brain didn't catch up right away. He doesn't know for sure until he overhears Brittney talking about Kurt with Santana.
“Fuck, I fucked my hand up again.”
“San, you should find Kurt. His hands are baby soft. He has goat's milk or something. It smells but it works, see?” Brittney's soft voice trails off a bit as she runs her hand down Santana's face. Puck backs away because he knows what's about to happen. The squeak of surprise makes him smile as he turns around the corner.
The more he thinks about it, the more he realizes that Britt is wrong. Kurt's hands are soft, sure. The kid puts enough lotion on them to keep Puck in jerk-mode of days. But the soft only magnifies the rough. Like the thin scar on the outside of his right thumb. Kurt got that peeling radishes in the kitchen skin with his Grandma Hummel. Or the freckle he has just under his forefinger on the palm of his left hand. Or the slight callouses that dance along his finger tips, a testament to how much time he actually spent under the hood of a car. Britt really had no idea what she's talking about.
The thought hits Puck right in the gut. Of course Britt doesn't know what she's talking about. Kurt never let her get close enough to see the tiny imperfections that mark his skin. She's never seen the strawberry birthmark hiding under his hair. She's never heard the weird snoring thing he does if he's having a bad dream. She has no idea that the only reason he uses that goat's milk lotion is because it smells like how his mom used to smell.
But Puck knows. He knows enough to never mention grease he sees under Kurt's fingernails. He knows enough to make sure a salad never has radishes on it. He's even started to crave the smell of that lotion.
Kurt meets him in the hallway. His fingers laces with Puck's and he knows. His palm rest against the left hand freckle and his thumb skims over the right hand scar. Garage-callouses rest on the top of his hand and he knows that night he'll fall asleep smelling like Kurt's lotion.
Puck's been in love with Kurt forever. His brain just needed some time to catch up.
Want- Want, Need, Have
Want is something Noah Puckerman is acutely familiar with. He wants a lot of things. He gets most of them too. He wants hot girls and hot guys. He want fast cars and loud music. He wants non-kosher meat and one night stands in back alleys. His problem was never with want. His problem was need.
He needs things too much. He needs them so much he never lets himself ask for them. He longs for a hug that makes him feel weak. He prays for the day he can fall asleep in someone's arms. He needs the day when he doesn't have to fight anymore. When life can be about this moment. About kissing someone goodbye because they're heading to work instead of the ones he's used to. The ones where kissing someone goodbye meant he was never going to see them again. He needs the day that struggle doesn't hit against his skin. Where he can walk around feeling like he's worth something.
But sometimes what he wants and what he needs are the same thing. When Kurt kisses him goodbye, he always knows he'll see him again. When Kurt begs for the chance to make out behind the school, Puck feels ten feet tall. When Kurt has a nightmare, he'll wrap his arms so tight around Puck's middle that he has to fight for breath. He can live in the moment and think about the future. He doesn't have to fight when he's with Kurt.
Kurt is want and need and have all wrapped into one.
Pretend- Hallways, Always
Puck pretends he doesn't have Kurt's phone number memorized. He pretends he doesn't know that if Kurt gets angry he tastes different. He pretends he doesn't long to fall asleep beside him. He pretends he's satisfied with the quickies they grab. In the janitors closet or the locker room or in the choir room after everyone leaves. He's good at pretending until the day that he's not so good.
That day Karofsky walks in on them. Puck's arms are locked around Kurt neck and Kurt's hips snap wildly into Puck. The smirk on his face tells Puck he thinks he just gained the upper hand in a fight Puck didn't even know they were a part of. Karofsky stares a little too long and Puck can feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.
After he leaves, Kurt starts the slow pull away that meant he thought this was over. Puck was so shocked he didn't even try to stop him. Kurt always said that keeping quiet about them was about keeping Puck safe. Now Puck understood why he was so sure they need protecting.
Walking around the halls alone make him feel like a coward. From the other end of the hall he can see that Karofsky has Kurt pressed against the lockers. Kurt's eyes don't even bother searching for help. Puck accidentally runs into Rachel as he barrels down the hallway. Her shocked gasps becomes the soundtrack to his coming out. He's not thinking about much. All he knows is mine, don't touch and baby, I'm coming.
His body hits Karofsky with a sickening thud and the force of the blow knocks Karofsky out cold. The crumpled heap lays forgotten behind him as he stands to walk back to Kurt. His face is shocked and terrified. Puck's hand frame his face.
“Baby, are you okay? Do I need to make this fucker dead?” Puck's soft voice echoes in the deathly silent hallway. Kurt's head shakes softly in his hands and Puck can see the relief fill Kurt's features.
The kiss is light and barely there. But it's the first one in public and Kurt doesn't pull away.
Puck was good at pretending that he didn't know what Kurt tasted like or smelled like or liked to eat on his pizza. He was really good at it...until the day he wasn't.