(no subject)
So...yeah.
I'm sort of in this funk. I feel like all the relationships around me are crumbling and I feel like no one really cares. I feel like I'm putting this effort in, but what's the point? I feel like it's not getting me anywhere. I feel like...I don't know...I just feel sad about this.
I don't like this space that is developing. I hate feeling like no one cares or has the time to care even if they wanted to.
The space is getting bigger and I feel like I keep clawing my way out of it just to lose more ground in the end.
I hate this feeling and I don't know what else to do. I really don't.
Most of the time, I love being here. I know this is right for me. But...in order to come here I feel like I have to sacrifice and ruin everything I ever had at home. No matter how hard I try, I feel like I find some way to fuck things up.
I hate that I hurt people to come out here and I hate that it has to cause some of the relationships around me to crumble. I know this is my fault but do I stay here and keep watching this happen or do I go back to fix things but ultimately, remain unhappy where I'm at?
I hate that I'm older and I have to make these decisions. I hate it and I don't know what to do about any of it. I feel like there is nothing I can do and that I'm just swimming around and around in this huge whirlpool.
I hate that I feel like this and I hate that this is happening b/c I honestly don't know how to deal with it anymore. I really don't and it hurts.
Okay, and that's my emo post. Sorry folks.
I'm sort of in this funk. I feel like all the relationships around me are crumbling and I feel like no one really cares. I feel like I'm putting this effort in, but what's the point? I feel like it's not getting me anywhere. I feel like...I don't know...I just feel sad about this.
I don't like this space that is developing. I hate feeling like no one cares or has the time to care even if they wanted to.
The space is getting bigger and I feel like I keep clawing my way out of it just to lose more ground in the end.
I hate this feeling and I don't know what else to do. I really don't.
Most of the time, I love being here. I know this is right for me. But...in order to come here I feel like I have to sacrifice and ruin everything I ever had at home. No matter how hard I try, I feel like I find some way to fuck things up.
I hate that I hurt people to come out here and I hate that it has to cause some of the relationships around me to crumble. I know this is my fault but do I stay here and keep watching this happen or do I go back to fix things but ultimately, remain unhappy where I'm at?
I hate that I'm older and I have to make these decisions. I hate it and I don't know what to do about any of it. I feel like there is nothing I can do and that I'm just swimming around and around in this huge whirlpool.
I hate that I feel like this and I hate that this is happening b/c I honestly don't know how to deal with it anymore. I really don't and it hurts.
Okay, and that's my emo post. Sorry folks.