Fic: Forever Scarred (5/?)
Title: Forever Scarred
Rating: M, for swearing, violence and possible sexual situations
Pairing: Cargan, past Kames
Summary: Carlos Garcia watched his best friend's life completely fall apart and is still recovering from the effects of losing a friend. His violent, gang lifestyle didn't exactly make any of that easier. But when he meets the sweet new boy, Logan Mitchell, all that just might change.
Warnings: Violence, past character death
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Notes: It’s kinda short. The Kames angst continues as well as the fluffy Cargan. Let me know what you guys think.
All the memories he had were of just him and his mom; his dad hadn’t been in the picture since he was barely a year old. He didn’t skip out of them or leave them all alone. From all the stories his mom told him, he knew his dad was a fantastic father and husband. Sure, he was a busy doctor but he always made time for his family, his mom would tell him.
Logan loved the nights where him and his mom would grab dinner together and his mom would tell stories about his dad the whole time; unfortunately those nights were far and few now considering his mom’s hectic work schedule. She was hardly ever home anymore. Logan wasn’t fond of being alone all the time; sure, it was relaxing at first but after a while of the same routine, it got boring.
Logan was sitting on the couch in the living room, a blanket tucked around his legs. He was enjoying some TV since he had finished all his homework for that next week hours ago. It wasn’t a school night so it didn’t matter if he was up past 9:30, which was exciting because now he could watch the documentary on the science channel. He was just picking up the remote to change the channel when his phone vibrated beside him. A soft smile tugged at his lips as he saw who the text was from. It was such a simple text yet somehow it made his entire night. Logan had to mentally slap himself, wondering where these sudden feelings came from.
New text from Carlos
Whats up shorty?
Only after he replied with “watching a documentary on the science channel,” did he realize how incredibly dorky that sounded. He really wished he could take it back, that he hadn’t said that to the oddly sweet bad boy with all the tattoos. But Carlos’ reply after that made his heart jump a little because he said nothing about what a nerd he was.
New text from Carlos
Sounds riveting cutie
Logan could feel the heat rising to his cheeks at the little nickname at the end.
Text sent to Carlos
it is! its all about people born with weird birth defects.
New text from Carlos
is this how you spend your friday nights logie?
Text sent to Carlos
maybe...
New text from Carlos
thats kinda sad
Text sent to Carlos
Oh, like your nights are nonstop parties!
New text from Carlos
sometimes they are. maybe ill take you with me one of these times
The initial thought frightened him a bit, wondering what particular activities Carlos partook in on these infamous Friday nights. But after a second, third and fourth thought, the fear faded away and was replaced with excitement. Was this Carlos’ way of asking him out?
Text sent to Carlos
Sounds like fun
Was that his way of accepting? He supposed it was because of Carlos’ reply.
New text from Carlos
pick you up at 12 tomorrow
Text sent to Carlos
Isn’t that pretty early?
New text to Carlos
well need it for our day of fun
Logan didn’t know what Carlos had in mind but he couldn’t help the excitement coursing through his veins, that same excitement outweighing that of which for his documentary which had gone ignored during this text exchange. He couldn’t keep the giddy smile off his face for the rest of the night.
It was always beautiful basking in the afterglow; coming down from such an exhilarating high to the serene, calm security of lying in one another’s arms. James’ soft skin practically glowing, his typically flawless hair disheveled and messy (the way he secretly loved it). Despite their previous activity and James’ high level of self confidence, he shyly buried his head in Kendall’s chest, cheeks burning bright red.
Kendall smiled fondly and combed his fingers through the other’s soft hair. He spotted a pen on his bedside table and snatched it, biting the cap off. He peeled back the blankets that were covering their bodies and slid down the bed. Leaning forward, he kissed James’ hipbone, relishing the gentle shiver it caused. He brought the pen to James’ skin, lightly scrawling letters across his hip. Kendall.
“See?” he said as he glanced up at his stunning boyfriend. “If you got a tattoo, you could look down and know who you belong to.”
A small smile tweaked at James’ lips as he tugged his boyfriend back up to his level, pressing a firm kiss to his lips. “I don’t need a tattoo to know I belong to you.”
If it was possible, Kendall fell even more in love with James right then.
Throwing on a long sleeve shirt to accompany his pj pants and grabbing his cigarettes, Kendall snuck out to his porch, sitting on the steps and lighting one up. He inhaled the relaxing smoke into his lungs, looking out at all the snow covering his yard.
James always loved it, all the snow; he’d drag him outside to play in the snow with him. It wasn’t Kendall’s favorite thing to do; he had plenty of other more important business things to attend to but James begged in that way and all of Kendall’s resolve would immediately shatter. Cigarette tucked between his lips, he walked out into the snow, lying down in it. He moved his arms and legs up and down, making a snow angel.
For a second, it was nice to pretend James was right there beside him, making a snow angel of his own. But in the morning, after a nice hot shower to fight the previous night’s cold, his heart would constrict painfully after seeing only one snow angel; it was just his own, all by itself.
Saturday morning brought about a whole new wave of excitement for the typically enthusiastic Latino. His life never actually lacked excitement but this was different, a whole new level, a different type of thrill. He had a date with an incredibly sweet boy that he was looking forward to getting to know better. He knew the other boy moved from LA, his mom is a doctor (subsequently, he’s rich), and he never mentions his dad. Carlos wanted to know why. He wanted to know what Logan was afraid of, his fears (besides everyone at their school), he wanted to know his favorite color, food, music.
He wanted to know everything that made this boy who he is today. Maybe that was too much too fast but he figured this was the opportunity to get a head start. After all he had a lot to learn and that wasn’t his favorite activity, learning. But with a new subject, maybe his interest could be peaked. Pre-date jitters were hitting him as he embarked on an endless search to find something decent to wear.
This wasn’t an easy task with his wardrobe, which consisted mainly of ripped jeans and hoodies. Somehow, he managed, finding some jeans with minimal holes and blue plaid shirt (incidentally the only collared shirt he owned). After dabbing on a little cologne and giving himself a once over in the mirror, he was about to head to Logan’s when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He sighed at the caller ID, knowing he had to help his friend, no matter how badly he wanted to see Logan.
Logan wasn’t sure if his nervousness was justified or necessary but he found it couldn’t be helped as he fiddled with the sleeve of his cardigan. In all honesty, this was his first real date, his first time having real possible feelings for someone. That alone was enough to terrify him. He was expecting Carlos any minute when he answered his ringing phone. “Hello?”
“Hey Logan, it’s Carlos,” Logan could hear the reluctance in the other’s voice. Logan cringed, trying to quickly prepare himself for heartbreak. “Can we push our thing back an hour or two? I have to do some damage control.”
This sparked an instinct in the smart boy; he knew exactly what Carlos was referring to. Kendall. Logan felt a connection to the bad boy, not like that of which he felt to Carlos but like, he and Kendall had a lot in common. Because of this, he felt the need to be there for Kendall too, to possible help him ease the pain. Logan knew how valuable this could be. “I’ll come with. I’m great at damage control.”
Devastation was the first emotion to hit Logan as they pulled up to the cemetery. The sight absolutely heartbreaking to witness but the smart boy found himself unable to look away. In the distance, he could see Kendall sitting on the ground, right in front of a grave. He knew extra what Kendall was doing there, what specific grave he was visiting. Carlos seemed a little hesitant but Logan got out of the car the second it slowed to a stop.
Without a thought, he crossed the cemetery, eyes scanning over all the headstones with names on them. He found himself wondering about all these people; however many family members were heartbroken over the loss of their loved ones. It was such a sad thing to think about.
He subtly glanced over his shoulder to see Carlos hanging back slightly as he approached the distraught blond. “Kendall?” he called hesitantly.
The other boy looked up with tear filled eyes, green orbs telling the obvious tale of sorrow and longing. “Logan?” he questioned, furiously wiping at his eyes. “What’re you doing here?”
“I’m here with Carlos,” he answered softly, “We wanted to see if you were okay.”
“Well I’m not,” Kendall snapped but Logan knew not to take his harsh tone to heart. It was just his situation that made him use this tone; he just missed James and he could understand that. “I’m never going to be.”
“And that’s okay Kendall,” Logan insisted, taking a seat on the ground beside the blond boy. “No one expects you to be okay. “It’s okay not to be okay.”
A silence settled over them for a few moments before Logan spoke again.
“You know, it feels weird but sometimes, it helps to talk to them. If that makes sense,” the smart boy trailed off, glancing at the other boy to see if he understood. The look of confusion on his face obviously meant he didn’t. “My dad died when I was really little and sometimes it makes it easier to deal with knowing that I can talk to him anytime I want. That he’s always listening. I bet James is too. And I bet he wants to hear how great you’re doing.”
“But I’m not,” Kendall whispered, keeping his head low as he sniffled a few times.
“Then I’m sure he’d love to hear about how much you miss and love him,” Logan suggested, a hand on the other’s shoulder. He stood up, slowly inching back to give Kendall some privacy. He felt his throat tighten with the effort not to cry as he heard Kendall start to talk to his deceased boyfriend. He didn’t even realize he was crying until he felt Carlos reach down and grab his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Squeezing his eyes shut, he let himself be consoled by that simple action, the warmth of Carlos’ hand holding his own and the security of knowing Carlos was there for him without question.
Rating: M, for swearing, violence and possible sexual situations
Pairing: Cargan, past Kames
Summary: Carlos Garcia watched his best friend's life completely fall apart and is still recovering from the effects of losing a friend. His violent, gang lifestyle didn't exactly make any of that easier. But when he meets the sweet new boy, Logan Mitchell, all that just might change.
Warnings: Violence, past character death
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Notes: It’s kinda short. The Kames angst continues as well as the fluffy Cargan. Let me know what you guys think.
All the memories he had were of just him and his mom; his dad hadn’t been in the picture since he was barely a year old. He didn’t skip out of them or leave them all alone. From all the stories his mom told him, he knew his dad was a fantastic father and husband. Sure, he was a busy doctor but he always made time for his family, his mom would tell him.
Logan loved the nights where him and his mom would grab dinner together and his mom would tell stories about his dad the whole time; unfortunately those nights were far and few now considering his mom’s hectic work schedule. She was hardly ever home anymore. Logan wasn’t fond of being alone all the time; sure, it was relaxing at first but after a while of the same routine, it got boring.
Logan was sitting on the couch in the living room, a blanket tucked around his legs. He was enjoying some TV since he had finished all his homework for that next week hours ago. It wasn’t a school night so it didn’t matter if he was up past 9:30, which was exciting because now he could watch the documentary on the science channel. He was just picking up the remote to change the channel when his phone vibrated beside him. A soft smile tugged at his lips as he saw who the text was from. It was such a simple text yet somehow it made his entire night. Logan had to mentally slap himself, wondering where these sudden feelings came from.
New text from Carlos
Whats up shorty?
Only after he replied with “watching a documentary on the science channel,” did he realize how incredibly dorky that sounded. He really wished he could take it back, that he hadn’t said that to the oddly sweet bad boy with all the tattoos. But Carlos’ reply after that made his heart jump a little because he said nothing about what a nerd he was.
New text from Carlos
Sounds riveting cutie
Logan could feel the heat rising to his cheeks at the little nickname at the end.
Text sent to Carlos
it is! its all about people born with weird birth defects.
New text from Carlos
is this how you spend your friday nights logie?
Text sent to Carlos
maybe...
New text from Carlos
thats kinda sad
Text sent to Carlos
Oh, like your nights are nonstop parties!
New text from Carlos
sometimes they are. maybe ill take you with me one of these times
The initial thought frightened him a bit, wondering what particular activities Carlos partook in on these infamous Friday nights. But after a second, third and fourth thought, the fear faded away and was replaced with excitement. Was this Carlos’ way of asking him out?
Text sent to Carlos
Sounds like fun
Was that his way of accepting? He supposed it was because of Carlos’ reply.
New text from Carlos
pick you up at 12 tomorrow
Text sent to Carlos
Isn’t that pretty early?
New text to Carlos
well need it for our day of fun
Logan didn’t know what Carlos had in mind but he couldn’t help the excitement coursing through his veins, that same excitement outweighing that of which for his documentary which had gone ignored during this text exchange. He couldn’t keep the giddy smile off his face for the rest of the night.
It was always beautiful basking in the afterglow; coming down from such an exhilarating high to the serene, calm security of lying in one another’s arms. James’ soft skin practically glowing, his typically flawless hair disheveled and messy (the way he secretly loved it). Despite their previous activity and James’ high level of self confidence, he shyly buried his head in Kendall’s chest, cheeks burning bright red.
Kendall smiled fondly and combed his fingers through the other’s soft hair. He spotted a pen on his bedside table and snatched it, biting the cap off. He peeled back the blankets that were covering their bodies and slid down the bed. Leaning forward, he kissed James’ hipbone, relishing the gentle shiver it caused. He brought the pen to James’ skin, lightly scrawling letters across his hip. Kendall.
“See?” he said as he glanced up at his stunning boyfriend. “If you got a tattoo, you could look down and know who you belong to.”
A small smile tweaked at James’ lips as he tugged his boyfriend back up to his level, pressing a firm kiss to his lips. “I don’t need a tattoo to know I belong to you.”
If it was possible, Kendall fell even more in love with James right then.
Throwing on a long sleeve shirt to accompany his pj pants and grabbing his cigarettes, Kendall snuck out to his porch, sitting on the steps and lighting one up. He inhaled the relaxing smoke into his lungs, looking out at all the snow covering his yard.
James always loved it, all the snow; he’d drag him outside to play in the snow with him. It wasn’t Kendall’s favorite thing to do; he had plenty of other more important business things to attend to but James begged in that way and all of Kendall’s resolve would immediately shatter. Cigarette tucked between his lips, he walked out into the snow, lying down in it. He moved his arms and legs up and down, making a snow angel.
For a second, it was nice to pretend James was right there beside him, making a snow angel of his own. But in the morning, after a nice hot shower to fight the previous night’s cold, his heart would constrict painfully after seeing only one snow angel; it was just his own, all by itself.
Saturday morning brought about a whole new wave of excitement for the typically enthusiastic Latino. His life never actually lacked excitement but this was different, a whole new level, a different type of thrill. He had a date with an incredibly sweet boy that he was looking forward to getting to know better. He knew the other boy moved from LA, his mom is a doctor (subsequently, he’s rich), and he never mentions his dad. Carlos wanted to know why. He wanted to know what Logan was afraid of, his fears (besides everyone at their school), he wanted to know his favorite color, food, music.
He wanted to know everything that made this boy who he is today. Maybe that was too much too fast but he figured this was the opportunity to get a head start. After all he had a lot to learn and that wasn’t his favorite activity, learning. But with a new subject, maybe his interest could be peaked. Pre-date jitters were hitting him as he embarked on an endless search to find something decent to wear.
This wasn’t an easy task with his wardrobe, which consisted mainly of ripped jeans and hoodies. Somehow, he managed, finding some jeans with minimal holes and blue plaid shirt (incidentally the only collared shirt he owned). After dabbing on a little cologne and giving himself a once over in the mirror, he was about to head to Logan’s when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He sighed at the caller ID, knowing he had to help his friend, no matter how badly he wanted to see Logan.
Logan wasn’t sure if his nervousness was justified or necessary but he found it couldn’t be helped as he fiddled with the sleeve of his cardigan. In all honesty, this was his first real date, his first time having real possible feelings for someone. That alone was enough to terrify him. He was expecting Carlos any minute when he answered his ringing phone. “Hello?”
“Hey Logan, it’s Carlos,” Logan could hear the reluctance in the other’s voice. Logan cringed, trying to quickly prepare himself for heartbreak. “Can we push our thing back an hour or two? I have to do some damage control.”
This sparked an instinct in the smart boy; he knew exactly what Carlos was referring to. Kendall. Logan felt a connection to the bad boy, not like that of which he felt to Carlos but like, he and Kendall had a lot in common. Because of this, he felt the need to be there for Kendall too, to possible help him ease the pain. Logan knew how valuable this could be. “I’ll come with. I’m great at damage control.”
Devastation was the first emotion to hit Logan as they pulled up to the cemetery. The sight absolutely heartbreaking to witness but the smart boy found himself unable to look away. In the distance, he could see Kendall sitting on the ground, right in front of a grave. He knew extra what Kendall was doing there, what specific grave he was visiting. Carlos seemed a little hesitant but Logan got out of the car the second it slowed to a stop.
Without a thought, he crossed the cemetery, eyes scanning over all the headstones with names on them. He found himself wondering about all these people; however many family members were heartbroken over the loss of their loved ones. It was such a sad thing to think about.
He subtly glanced over his shoulder to see Carlos hanging back slightly as he approached the distraught blond. “Kendall?” he called hesitantly.
The other boy looked up with tear filled eyes, green orbs telling the obvious tale of sorrow and longing. “Logan?” he questioned, furiously wiping at his eyes. “What’re you doing here?”
“I’m here with Carlos,” he answered softly, “We wanted to see if you were okay.”
“Well I’m not,” Kendall snapped but Logan knew not to take his harsh tone to heart. It was just his situation that made him use this tone; he just missed James and he could understand that. “I’m never going to be.”
“And that’s okay Kendall,” Logan insisted, taking a seat on the ground beside the blond boy. “No one expects you to be okay. “It’s okay not to be okay.”
A silence settled over them for a few moments before Logan spoke again.
“You know, it feels weird but sometimes, it helps to talk to them. If that makes sense,” the smart boy trailed off, glancing at the other boy to see if he understood. The look of confusion on his face obviously meant he didn’t. “My dad died when I was really little and sometimes it makes it easier to deal with knowing that I can talk to him anytime I want. That he’s always listening. I bet James is too. And I bet he wants to hear how great you’re doing.”
“But I’m not,” Kendall whispered, keeping his head low as he sniffled a few times.
“Then I’m sure he’d love to hear about how much you miss and love him,” Logan suggested, a hand on the other’s shoulder. He stood up, slowly inching back to give Kendall some privacy. He felt his throat tighten with the effort not to cry as he heard Kendall start to talk to his deceased boyfriend. He didn’t even realize he was crying until he felt Carlos reach down and grab his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Squeezing his eyes shut, he let himself be consoled by that simple action, the warmth of Carlos’ hand holding his own and the security of knowing Carlos was there for him without question.