What to do?
Wow, it's been awhile since I've posted anything new. Sorry, but I have been busy. I guess I only come here when I need to express what I can't say. So many emotions and feelings have been going through my veins, and I don't know how to control them. I seriously think that I have a problem, and I don't know how to fix it. Like always love and relationships seem to be the issue that haunts me. I can't figure out my role with love. Is it possible to not have a soul mate? I'm beginning to think that love only happens to certain individuals. I happen to be one of the not so fortunate people. How do you stop yourself from loving someone? How do you erase every memory from your mind? I need that contraption, from Men In Black, that erases your total memory. Maybe then I could live at peace, and not be so angry with the world. I try and sleep to forget my problems, and it seems to be my only defense against it. But lately, I have been dependent on sleeping pills to get me asleep. I can't even sleep like a regular person anymore. I know that I need to move on, and forget the past. But I love my past, and I don't want to forget. I'm lost without a reason for being lost. Does that make any sense? I don't know why I feel the way I do, but I wish there was a way to heal this heart. Like I have said in the past...I love to love. Not just anyone, but that special someone. I keep thinking that I find that person, but then I end up being hurt. I don't think I fall in love too fast. I have dated plenty of girls in my life, but only loved two. But like everything in my life, it ends badly. If only I could find her...A girl that I could love and love forever. Isn't that the reason for love? You fall in love, and stay in love until death do us part. That is the master plan for us all. That is the plan for myself at least. Looking for answers and open for opinions. Much Love.