All the Right Things, for All the Wrong Reasons.
What else is left for me to do? Sit around and feel sorry for myself, and wait for love to come knocking on my door? Fuck love and every aspect of it. I don't know why things just happen. Why can't they just NOT happen? I will never give love another chance. Never. I am not going to deal with this shit ever again. Why should I pour out my everlasting love for someone, who just wants to be friends? After everything that we've been through, I have to act like a fucking jerk off to make her happy. Why? WHY WHY WHY??? I hate feeling stupid and used. I wish I could turn my back on this, and just start over on a new slate. But I can't. My heart is too big, to do something of that sort. Maybe thats it. My heart is an easy target, and I can't help what happens to me. I have to sit here, day after day, wondering about, if the girl I love is gonna fuck me over once she leaves. It's not like I won't know whats going on...half my fucking friends will be going to school with her. They'll see her face more than I will. I feel so fucking grateful, and proud to be here. So I can deal with a brutal heart break, which is about equal to dying in my eyes. So...let me just keep walking down this narrow path of destruction. Nothing I do or say will prevent me from falling off the path. Maybe I really am I lost cause. I am beyond help, and I don't care anymore. Life is unfair, I know. But no one said life was a fucking dick head. I'm done with trying to make others feel better about them selves. I want to be done with every single person in my life. I have nothing else to give, nor lose at this point in my life. Why do I have to fall on my face every time I fall for her? Well not anymore. I'm not waiting for her to come around, when its convenient for her. Fuck this shit I'm out.