Archer Legacy 1.1
Welcome to the Archer Legacy, 1.1!
1.0 | +50 | Warnings: I love cuss words and sex jokes. Probably some Sims nudity, SCANDALOUS!
Previously, on the Tudors, we met Gemma Archer, a lovable loser who likes to cook and has a meltdown every time she has to spend more than .02 seconds outside. She spent some time playing with her hound, Sandor, and got a job at a fancy restaurant. Glen Coco caught her interest while she was out and about socializing at Aquarius, but due to weird routing glitches the club being so crowded, they weren’t really able to connect as much as they’d have liked.
After a few days of frustrating phone calls but no dates, Glen Coco stood Gemma up when he saw her all dolled up looking too good for him. (Aw. Sweet boy.) So a drunk Gemma crashed his apartment and demanded an explanation. They talked it out, made out, and then as Glen walked her out, she instigated a little Risky WooHoo in the elevator. This nonstop train of WIN was completed by Gemma passing out on the street by some trash, then getting caught in elevator doors and busting her ass at her apartment.
Well. We can only go UP from here, right? RIGHT?!
We open with what clearly must be a drug deal going down in the park.
Purple Shirt: “Is my disguise OK? I don’t want anyone to recognize me with you! What if my mom found out I was buying dope?!”
Drug Dealer: “Shut up and stop talking so loud, then you should be all good.” Amateur.
Gemma’s doing great at work. Considering that most of her free time is spent practicing her mad culinary skills, her bosses are pretty impressed.
She also stops to talk to Tits McGee the Mixologist every night after work. I’m hoping they’ll become BFF but any time Gemma invites her over, Tits is working for an interminable amount of time.
Look who came over to visit after work!
Glen Coco: *smolder smolder smolder*
Unfortunately, the same night he came over, one of Gemma’s crazeball coworkers needed a place to crash, so he was working the Third Wheel Angle reaaal hard. I think his name is Lance. Or George. Let’s call him Lance-George. He’s French. Probably.
Lance-George is kind of an asshole. Glen tried to socialize with him while Gemma cooked dinner but…
PIC-5
Lance-George: “I can’t believe you think Pluto should still be considered a planet! That’s outrageous, you imbecile!”
Glen: Who let this blazing Mount McCooCoo full of hot molten crazy into my girlfriend’s apartment?!
Lance-George: “Just because it was a planet when you were a child doesn’t mean that’s a scientific reason it should STILL be considered a planet! It’s essentially a huge icy rock! What is WRONG with you?!”
Glen: “Bro, calm down. I don’t even actually care about space, I just was trying to make polite conversation and I saw your Space Camp pin on your apron...”
Lance-George: “You DON’T CARE about space?!? Are you lazy or just plain stupid?”
Glen: Iiii suddenly feel the need to go literally ANYWHERE else. Is there a fire escape nearby?
Luckily, Gemma finished making dinner and noticed her idiot co-worker accosting her boyfriend and decided to intervene.
And Lance-George decided to UP THE ANTY in the Bizarre Department.
Lance-George: “Heeeeey there, dollface, now that you’re done getting’ hot and spicy in the kitchen, whaddya say we got hot and spicy in the bedroom? See what I did there? See?”
Gemma: “Um, Lance-George? What. The. Fuck.”
Lance-George: “All right, baby, all right, I hear ya. You wanna get freak-deaky IN the kitchen? I dig, I dig. I’m into kinky stuff. Maybe we can cover each other in flour and chocolate sauce. I told you I was freaky!”
Gemma: “What?!?! NO, Lance-George, NO. I do not want to hook up with you.”
Gemma: “I have a boyfriend. He’s literally in the same room with us. Remember that guy you were yelling at about Pluto 2.3 seconds ago?”
Gemma: “And even if he weren’t my boyfriend, I don’t appreciate you coming into MY home and yelling at my guests about space, or anything else for that matter!!”
Gemma: “So, I’m gonna need you to leave, Lance-George. Thanks, but no thanks. It’s been weird, now you gotta go.
Lance-George: I have got the world’s BEST playlist for when I get her into the sack. A little Boys II Men, then a little Mariah Carey - chicks can’t resist the Power Ballads of the mid-nineties.
Gemma: “We’re all clear now.”
Glen: “Thank you so much, baby. I hate that you have to work with creepers like that. I know it’s part of the industry, but hopefully soon I’ll get a promotion and you won’t have to work as much.”
Glen: “Gemma, love, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about. You know things have been pretty crazy at my apartment lately, what with my roommate marrying that crazy old lady and us only having one real bedroom and all…”
Glen: “And you’re so amazing - such a good cook and so fun to be around…”
Gemma: “…yeah…?”
Glen: “So, I was wondering if I could, maybe, move in with you?”
Gemma: “Of course! You know how much I love you and I love having you around.”
Glen: “You’re the best, Gemma! I love you too.”
D’awww. Quit with the super-cute, you guys, you’re doing to make me puke.
OK, seriously, stop now.
Glen knew that if he was really and truly going to be at home in that apartment, there was one more approval to get.
Glen: “Hey, buddy! Listen, I know your mom hates the outdoors, but I love the outdoors so if it’s OK with you, I’ll stay here, and we can go on walks and play in the park!”
Glen: “And I’ll feed you lots of treats and - ”
Sandor: Stop, stop. You had me at “play in the park.”
Glen: “Ho-hum, ho-hum, our first night together in the apartment we now share…”
Glen: “Hmm, what to do, what to DO?!”
Glen: “SAAAAY, I have an idea!”
Gemma: “Oh yeah? What’s that?”
TA-DA
They were at it for quite a while.
I can’t say I blame them, given that the only other time they’ve Risky Woohoo’d, one of them was drunk and they were crammed in an elevator, hoping not to get caught.
Be cuter, I dare you.
Gemma: I feel weird.
Hmmmmmmmmmm, wonder why?? *innocent stare*
So, things settle into a pretty amiable pattern at the Archer-Coco residence. Gemma cooks for hours, Archer paints for hours. He quit his music job so he could be an amazing stay-at-home-dad/slave spend more time on his art.
Unfortunately, their apartment was a tiny bit too small when just one adult and a dog lived there…now with two adults and a dog, it’s a bit more cramped.
Gemma: “You’re telling me I have to do a lap of the kitchen, a turnabout in my bedroom, and then walk back through the kitchen in the opposite direction JUST to get to my front door JUST because my dog is playing in the only other open pathway?”
Erm, yes. Sorry, sweetpea.
Sandor: HOSHIT.
DON’T. YOU. DARE. Not on our nice bedspread!
Sandor: Chill, I’m going, I’m going. *grumble* 24 floors *grumble* weird sensor doors that make me feel like a Jedi* grumble*
For all she loathes the outdoors, Gemma is a really good doggie-mommy and make a point to play with him outside at least a little bit each day.
Gemma: “Get the snack! Get the snack! Very good, Kronk Sandor!”
Later that same day…
Gemma: BLARGGLELARGLEHORKHORKKLJMNwhendidIhavepestoFLARGLELARGLEBWAH
Gemma: I hate you so hard right now, Mysterious Voice in the Sky.
I’d feel bad for you but I’m not the one who drunk-initiated unprotected sex with my boyfriend in an elevator, soooo…this one’s all you. :D
Gemma: Fuck, fuck, fuck. What am I going to tell Glen? He’s lived here a week and I’m already knocked up?!
Poor innocent man-child. He has no idea what’s about to hit him.
Glen and Gemma decided to throw a little party in honor of them moving in together as well as Gemma getting a promotion.
As the guests started to arrive, Gemma was still feeling pretty bad.
Gemma: “Please, please, please, no more! NO MORE!”
Glen’s friend Griffin: “Um, Glen? Think your girlfriend got into the tequila early, can you get out here and take care of your pukin’ lady?!?”
(Poor baby girl - she’s had one of the worst pregnancies I’ve ever played. She puked every couple hours without fail.)
Gemma managed to pull herself together as the rest of the guests arrived. She had a stinkin’ suspicion of what was causing all the vomiting and wanted to try and hint at it to Glen before the party got too wild.
Glen: “Look at you, gorgeous! You feeling any better?”
Gemma: “A little, thanks, baby. But there’s something I want to talk to you about - ”
Glen: *SMOOCH* Funny you should say that there’s something I want to talk to you about too!”
Gemma: “Oh yeah? Maybe I should go first - ”
Glen: “I got you these! Aren’t they beautiful, just like you?”
Gemma: “Yes, Glen, love, they’re gorgeous, but I really need to - ”
Glen: “Oh, what have we down here?”
Gemma: “What are you doing? Glen, we need to talk seriously, I think I might - ”
(LOL, Glen’s too excited. He doesn’t have the Hopeless Romantic trait, but he sure acts like he does.)
Gemma: *is shocked*
Glen: “Gemma Archer, ever since I spotted you across that crazy crowded bar lobby, I thought you were the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. And since I’ve gotten to know you, I’ve realized you’ve got an equally gorgeous personality. I love you so much, will you do me the honor of marrying me?”
The shock and thrill of being proposed to made her definite possible pregnancy slip her mind completely.
Gemma: “FUCK YES, I WILL MARRY YOU!!”
Sparkly things tend to do that sort of thing to a lady’s memory.
(Sidebar: THANKS, Glen, for making all this go down in one of THE worst corners of the apartment to snap pictures in.)
That's it for now!
Next time: BABEEZ, yes, multiple, and a classic legacy style wedding. And a new (to-them) house!
,
1.0 | +50 | Warnings: I love cuss words and sex jokes. Probably some Sims nudity, SCANDALOUS!
Previously, on the Tudors, we met Gemma Archer, a lovable loser who likes to cook and has a meltdown every time she has to spend more than .02 seconds outside. She spent some time playing with her hound, Sandor, and got a job at a fancy restaurant. Glen Coco caught her interest while she was out and about socializing at Aquarius, but due to weird routing glitches the club being so crowded, they weren’t really able to connect as much as they’d have liked.
After a few days of frustrating phone calls but no dates, Glen Coco stood Gemma up when he saw her all dolled up looking too good for him. (Aw. Sweet boy.) So a drunk Gemma crashed his apartment and demanded an explanation. They talked it out, made out, and then as Glen walked her out, she instigated a little Risky WooHoo in the elevator. This nonstop train of WIN was completed by Gemma passing out on the street by some trash, then getting caught in elevator doors and busting her ass at her apartment.
Well. We can only go UP from here, right? RIGHT?!
We open with what clearly must be a drug deal going down in the park.
Purple Shirt: “Is my disguise OK? I don’t want anyone to recognize me with you! What if my mom found out I was buying dope?!”
Drug Dealer: “Shut up and stop talking so loud, then you should be all good.” Amateur.
Gemma’s doing great at work. Considering that most of her free time is spent practicing her mad culinary skills, her bosses are pretty impressed.
She also stops to talk to Tits McGee the Mixologist every night after work. I’m hoping they’ll become BFF but any time Gemma invites her over, Tits is working for an interminable amount of time.
Look who came over to visit after work!
Glen Coco: *smolder smolder smolder*
Unfortunately, the same night he came over, one of Gemma’s crazeball coworkers needed a place to crash, so he was working the Third Wheel Angle reaaal hard. I think his name is Lance. Or George. Let’s call him Lance-George. He’s French. Probably.
Lance-George is kind of an asshole. Glen tried to socialize with him while Gemma cooked dinner but…
PIC-5
Lance-George: “I can’t believe you think Pluto should still be considered a planet! That’s outrageous, you imbecile!”
Glen: Who let this blazing Mount McCooCoo full of hot molten crazy into my girlfriend’s apartment?!
Lance-George: “Just because it was a planet when you were a child doesn’t mean that’s a scientific reason it should STILL be considered a planet! It’s essentially a huge icy rock! What is WRONG with you?!”
Glen: “Bro, calm down. I don’t even actually care about space, I just was trying to make polite conversation and I saw your Space Camp pin on your apron...”
Lance-George: “You DON’T CARE about space?!? Are you lazy or just plain stupid?”
Glen: Iiii suddenly feel the need to go literally ANYWHERE else. Is there a fire escape nearby?
Luckily, Gemma finished making dinner and noticed her idiot co-worker accosting her boyfriend and decided to intervene.
And Lance-George decided to UP THE ANTY in the Bizarre Department.
Lance-George: “Heeeeey there, dollface, now that you’re done getting’ hot and spicy in the kitchen, whaddya say we got hot and spicy in the bedroom? See what I did there? See?”
Gemma: “Um, Lance-George? What. The. Fuck.”
Lance-George: “All right, baby, all right, I hear ya. You wanna get freak-deaky IN the kitchen? I dig, I dig. I’m into kinky stuff. Maybe we can cover each other in flour and chocolate sauce. I told you I was freaky!”
Gemma: “What?!?! NO, Lance-George, NO. I do not want to hook up with you.”
Gemma: “I have a boyfriend. He’s literally in the same room with us. Remember that guy you were yelling at about Pluto 2.3 seconds ago?”
Gemma: “And even if he weren’t my boyfriend, I don’t appreciate you coming into MY home and yelling at my guests about space, or anything else for that matter!!”
Gemma: “So, I’m gonna need you to leave, Lance-George. Thanks, but no thanks. It’s been weird, now you gotta go.
Lance-George: I have got the world’s BEST playlist for when I get her into the sack. A little Boys II Men, then a little Mariah Carey - chicks can’t resist the Power Ballads of the mid-nineties.
Gemma: “We’re all clear now.”
Glen: “Thank you so much, baby. I hate that you have to work with creepers like that. I know it’s part of the industry, but hopefully soon I’ll get a promotion and you won’t have to work as much.”
Glen: “Gemma, love, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about. You know things have been pretty crazy at my apartment lately, what with my roommate marrying that crazy old lady and us only having one real bedroom and all…”
Glen: “And you’re so amazing - such a good cook and so fun to be around…”
Gemma: “…yeah…?”
Glen: “So, I was wondering if I could, maybe, move in with you?”
Gemma: “Of course! You know how much I love you and I love having you around.”
Glen: “You’re the best, Gemma! I love you too.”
D’awww. Quit with the super-cute, you guys, you’re doing to make me puke.
OK, seriously, stop now.
Glen knew that if he was really and truly going to be at home in that apartment, there was one more approval to get.
Glen: “Hey, buddy! Listen, I know your mom hates the outdoors, but I love the outdoors so if it’s OK with you, I’ll stay here, and we can go on walks and play in the park!”
Glen: “And I’ll feed you lots of treats and - ”
Sandor: Stop, stop. You had me at “play in the park.”
Glen: “Ho-hum, ho-hum, our first night together in the apartment we now share…”
Glen: “Hmm, what to do, what to DO?!”
Glen: “SAAAAY, I have an idea!”
Gemma: “Oh yeah? What’s that?”
TA-DA
They were at it for quite a while.
I can’t say I blame them, given that the only other time they’ve Risky Woohoo’d, one of them was drunk and they were crammed in an elevator, hoping not to get caught.
Be cuter, I dare you.
Gemma: I feel weird.
Hmmmmmmmmmm, wonder why?? *innocent stare*
So, things settle into a pretty amiable pattern at the Archer-Coco residence. Gemma cooks for hours, Archer paints for hours. He quit his music job so he could be an amazing stay-at-home-dad/slave spend more time on his art.
Unfortunately, their apartment was a tiny bit too small when just one adult and a dog lived there…now with two adults and a dog, it’s a bit more cramped.
Gemma: “You’re telling me I have to do a lap of the kitchen, a turnabout in my bedroom, and then walk back through the kitchen in the opposite direction JUST to get to my front door JUST because my dog is playing in the only other open pathway?”
Erm, yes. Sorry, sweetpea.
Sandor: HOSHIT.
DON’T. YOU. DARE. Not on our nice bedspread!
Sandor: Chill, I’m going, I’m going. *grumble* 24 floors *grumble* weird sensor doors that make me feel like a Jedi* grumble*
For all she loathes the outdoors, Gemma is a really good doggie-mommy and make a point to play with him outside at least a little bit each day.
Gemma: “Get the snack! Get the snack! Very good, Kronk Sandor!”
Later that same day…
Gemma: BLARGGLELARGLEHORKHORKKLJMNwhendidIhavepestoFLARGLELARGLEBWAH
Gemma: I hate you so hard right now, Mysterious Voice in the Sky.
I’d feel bad for you but I’m not the one who drunk-initiated unprotected sex with my boyfriend in an elevator, soooo…this one’s all you. :D
Gemma: Fuck, fuck, fuck. What am I going to tell Glen? He’s lived here a week and I’m already knocked up?!
Poor innocent man-child. He has no idea what’s about to hit him.
Glen and Gemma decided to throw a little party in honor of them moving in together as well as Gemma getting a promotion.
As the guests started to arrive, Gemma was still feeling pretty bad.
Gemma: “Please, please, please, no more! NO MORE!”
Glen’s friend Griffin: “Um, Glen? Think your girlfriend got into the tequila early, can you get out here and take care of your pukin’ lady?!?”
(Poor baby girl - she’s had one of the worst pregnancies I’ve ever played. She puked every couple hours without fail.)
Gemma managed to pull herself together as the rest of the guests arrived. She had a stinkin’ suspicion of what was causing all the vomiting and wanted to try and hint at it to Glen before the party got too wild.
Glen: “Look at you, gorgeous! You feeling any better?”
Gemma: “A little, thanks, baby. But there’s something I want to talk to you about - ”
Glen: *SMOOCH* Funny you should say that there’s something I want to talk to you about too!”
Gemma: “Oh yeah? Maybe I should go first - ”
Glen: “I got you these! Aren’t they beautiful, just like you?”
Gemma: “Yes, Glen, love, they’re gorgeous, but I really need to - ”
Glen: “Oh, what have we down here?”
Gemma: “What are you doing? Glen, we need to talk seriously, I think I might - ”
(LOL, Glen’s too excited. He doesn’t have the Hopeless Romantic trait, but he sure acts like he does.)
Gemma: *is shocked*
Glen: “Gemma Archer, ever since I spotted you across that crazy crowded bar lobby, I thought you were the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. And since I’ve gotten to know you, I’ve realized you’ve got an equally gorgeous personality. I love you so much, will you do me the honor of marrying me?”
The shock and thrill of being proposed to made her definite possible pregnancy slip her mind completely.
Gemma: “FUCK YES, I WILL MARRY YOU!!”
Sparkly things tend to do that sort of thing to a lady’s memory.
(Sidebar: THANKS, Glen, for making all this go down in one of THE worst corners of the apartment to snap pictures in.)
That's it for now!
Next time: BABEEZ, yes, multiple, and a classic legacy style wedding. And a new (to-them) house!
,