1 year 5 months later...
So I had the impulse to check my livejournal and followed it and discovered that it also led to updating my livejournal which I haven't done in *see title*
Since then a lot has happened...
The girlfriend of my brother, Kelly, became his fiancé and a week and a half ago Kelly Tabolt!!!! She got a job beginning in January and they live 10 minutes from where I grew up... which makes my parents and me immensely happy.
Melody and her husband may be moving back to New York- she has applied for teaching jobs already and she will be here for her summer visit starting on the 28th- she was home for my brother's wedding- took pictures through her tears and mentioned how much she feels she's missing... and I'm missing her too... that and I absolutely love her dogs- Duke - 80 lbs-Pitbull Boxer mix and Dutch- maybe 20 lbs (might be pushing it)- Pitbull Dauschund.
Lily has completed her first year of school at Potsdam- it was nice having her nearby but also had it's challenges and struggles, which I guess was bound to happen. She reauditioned to Crane but unfortunately was overlooked again- she has decided to start pursuing the new Theater Education program offered at Potsdam, which would have many classes that are required for the Music Education degree and in general is going to be a good course. She is still dating her boyfriend from November 2007 who was at school this past semester.
My dad continues to tackle the Barn and rustic furniture- hasn't changed too much but is started to be saddened that we are growing up and not staying as close as he'd like. Although he's overjoyed about me being around for the next year *that's the plan currently at least... we shall see
Mom continues to knit, cook, sew (fixed Kelly's wedding dress actually), decorate, etcetera. She still is working at Edwards and doing what I'm used to as the usual. Although she's gotten more into Tastefully Simple products- which I'm absolutely alright with since what I've had is delicious.
As for me... Since then I counseled a second summer at Beaver Camp- more challenging and amazing seeing more connections with campers and able to speak into their lives, making a fulfilling summer. That and one particular camper mentioned how she liked me more that summer- which I liked myself more that summer because I still followed the rules but I loosened up and relaxed.
I finished up all the classes that I need to graduate (that I know of), exception of Student Teaching.
I spent my Senior year in a Suite with fantastic ladies that kept me sane through all of the stress and craziness I tend to put on myself whether I want to or not. My roommate also worked at a camp and the first semester back I don't think we got too much sleep but had a ball doing so. I started to freak out, still am a little bit, last semester about the fact that I soon will be certified, what I've been working towards. I just find it crazy that 4 years have already gone by and if it weren't for the memories and small things that I've been reminded of I wouldn't have believed it.
I've discovered how the tiniest thing that you do that is so unimportant or so simple, with your perception, has such an impact on others and doesn't leave them. I've discovered that the small moments where you do something that doesn't cost anything and isn't anything too significant can be the memories that you cherish above the most costly trips.
This past year I also received Presbytery, prophetic ministry, that was offered at my church. I was inspired through it and challenged in ways to take things up the notch and keep focused on God and where he's taking me- not making my own plans and destination- not putting on a boundary. It confirmed my passion and ambition to go overseas while making me aware of some other giftings and passions that I didn't notice as much but are there.
The future...
I'm taking it day by day... trying to relax and be at peace with the unknown mixed with the known- I know I'm student teaching in Carthage and Canton in the fall. I know where I'll live when teaching in Carthage... unknown where while in Canton. I know that I will be working at Beaver Camp again this summer- this time as APD- I don't know how that will turn out for the summer- but hope that with the staff they'll remind me to loosen up and not be stressed over it... I know that after Student Teaching I plan on Substitute Teaching and going to Graduate School- I don't know where I will be going to graduate school- having a few ideas of what program but still not certain...
The main changes that has been happening the past year is trying to be content in many aspects of my life... A friend of mine once said that I'm a perfectionist that beats themself up when they don't achieve what they intend to. I've found that when "I" try to complete a task that I'm overly ambitious and end stress and upset at the progress made. I've found that when I let God take over that I'm able to do exceedingly more than on my own and it has more of an impact on people. I've discovered that reverting to the unbiased character of childhood is so much fun combined with the experience and wisdom acquired over the years- especially with my hair cut I just loosen up more... which can sometimes be overly goofy =-P I think that it's not so much reverting to childhood but allowing myself to be who I am rather than conforming to who others expect me to be- although that can happen so easily back to it. I've discovered that I can enjoy coffee without having to bounce off the wall- not allowing what others suppose to be the result actually be the result... although I must say the withdrawal after having tons several days in a row was brutal. I'm striving to be at peace for the little quirks that I uncontrollably do and I find myself beating myself up for later because I don't see perfection. I need to change my perspective to that of the creator.
I read a skit up here actually of 2 Chinese water pots one with a crack that by the time it got to the house was only half full- the other no cracks or blemishes and always carried the water back. The cracked pot mentioned to the master it's shame of only bringing half of the water to begin with back compared to the other pot. The master mentioned the flower painted on the one side and the fact that where the water dripped flowers grew that the master took joy in. We each have a different purpose but so many times try to conform to the purposes that we would like to be rather than appreciating the joy and what we do that others can't do. So many times we try to be different that we miss out on the joy of being ourselves... I wish I could say I constantly enjoy who I am but as I loosen up and stop beating myself up I find I like myself more and those around me enjoy me more as well...
And after that long rant- I guess what's required for *see title ;-)... it's time for me to prepare for the day by day living that I'm working towards... keeping up with what I need to for the future but not so far ahead that I forget something today...
Which looks like... APD office work... trying to get back into running... lifeguarding... going home on the weekend *Father's Day... etcetera... I'm going to stop before the rant turns into something even more insanely long... right now...
*after saying I hope that someone out there enjoys this long rant and hope that everyone is having a wonderful summer
Since then a lot has happened...
The girlfriend of my brother, Kelly, became his fiancé and a week and a half ago Kelly Tabolt!!!! She got a job beginning in January and they live 10 minutes from where I grew up... which makes my parents and me immensely happy.
Melody and her husband may be moving back to New York- she has applied for teaching jobs already and she will be here for her summer visit starting on the 28th- she was home for my brother's wedding- took pictures through her tears and mentioned how much she feels she's missing... and I'm missing her too... that and I absolutely love her dogs- Duke - 80 lbs-Pitbull Boxer mix and Dutch- maybe 20 lbs (might be pushing it)- Pitbull Dauschund.
Lily has completed her first year of school at Potsdam- it was nice having her nearby but also had it's challenges and struggles, which I guess was bound to happen. She reauditioned to Crane but unfortunately was overlooked again- she has decided to start pursuing the new Theater Education program offered at Potsdam, which would have many classes that are required for the Music Education degree and in general is going to be a good course. She is still dating her boyfriend from November 2007 who was at school this past semester.
My dad continues to tackle the Barn and rustic furniture- hasn't changed too much but is started to be saddened that we are growing up and not staying as close as he'd like. Although he's overjoyed about me being around for the next year *that's the plan currently at least... we shall see
Mom continues to knit, cook, sew (fixed Kelly's wedding dress actually), decorate, etcetera. She still is working at Edwards and doing what I'm used to as the usual. Although she's gotten more into Tastefully Simple products- which I'm absolutely alright with since what I've had is delicious.
As for me... Since then I counseled a second summer at Beaver Camp- more challenging and amazing seeing more connections with campers and able to speak into their lives, making a fulfilling summer. That and one particular camper mentioned how she liked me more that summer- which I liked myself more that summer because I still followed the rules but I loosened up and relaxed.
I finished up all the classes that I need to graduate (that I know of), exception of Student Teaching.
I spent my Senior year in a Suite with fantastic ladies that kept me sane through all of the stress and craziness I tend to put on myself whether I want to or not. My roommate also worked at a camp and the first semester back I don't think we got too much sleep but had a ball doing so. I started to freak out, still am a little bit, last semester about the fact that I soon will be certified, what I've been working towards. I just find it crazy that 4 years have already gone by and if it weren't for the memories and small things that I've been reminded of I wouldn't have believed it.
I've discovered how the tiniest thing that you do that is so unimportant or so simple, with your perception, has such an impact on others and doesn't leave them. I've discovered that the small moments where you do something that doesn't cost anything and isn't anything too significant can be the memories that you cherish above the most costly trips.
This past year I also received Presbytery, prophetic ministry, that was offered at my church. I was inspired through it and challenged in ways to take things up the notch and keep focused on God and where he's taking me- not making my own plans and destination- not putting on a boundary. It confirmed my passion and ambition to go overseas while making me aware of some other giftings and passions that I didn't notice as much but are there.
The future...
I'm taking it day by day... trying to relax and be at peace with the unknown mixed with the known- I know I'm student teaching in Carthage and Canton in the fall. I know where I'll live when teaching in Carthage... unknown where while in Canton. I know that I will be working at Beaver Camp again this summer- this time as APD- I don't know how that will turn out for the summer- but hope that with the staff they'll remind me to loosen up and not be stressed over it... I know that after Student Teaching I plan on Substitute Teaching and going to Graduate School- I don't know where I will be going to graduate school- having a few ideas of what program but still not certain...
The main changes that has been happening the past year is trying to be content in many aspects of my life... A friend of mine once said that I'm a perfectionist that beats themself up when they don't achieve what they intend to. I've found that when "I" try to complete a task that I'm overly ambitious and end stress and upset at the progress made. I've found that when I let God take over that I'm able to do exceedingly more than on my own and it has more of an impact on people. I've discovered that reverting to the unbiased character of childhood is so much fun combined with the experience and wisdom acquired over the years- especially with my hair cut I just loosen up more... which can sometimes be overly goofy =-P I think that it's not so much reverting to childhood but allowing myself to be who I am rather than conforming to who others expect me to be- although that can happen so easily back to it. I've discovered that I can enjoy coffee without having to bounce off the wall- not allowing what others suppose to be the result actually be the result... although I must say the withdrawal after having tons several days in a row was brutal. I'm striving to be at peace for the little quirks that I uncontrollably do and I find myself beating myself up for later because I don't see perfection. I need to change my perspective to that of the creator.
I read a skit up here actually of 2 Chinese water pots one with a crack that by the time it got to the house was only half full- the other no cracks or blemishes and always carried the water back. The cracked pot mentioned to the master it's shame of only bringing half of the water to begin with back compared to the other pot. The master mentioned the flower painted on the one side and the fact that where the water dripped flowers grew that the master took joy in. We each have a different purpose but so many times try to conform to the purposes that we would like to be rather than appreciating the joy and what we do that others can't do. So many times we try to be different that we miss out on the joy of being ourselves... I wish I could say I constantly enjoy who I am but as I loosen up and stop beating myself up I find I like myself more and those around me enjoy me more as well...
And after that long rant- I guess what's required for *see title ;-)... it's time for me to prepare for the day by day living that I'm working towards... keeping up with what I need to for the future but not so far ahead that I forget something today...
Which looks like... APD office work... trying to get back into running... lifeguarding... going home on the weekend *Father's Day... etcetera... I'm going to stop before the rant turns into something even more insanely long... right now...
*after saying I hope that someone out there enjoys this long rant and hope that everyone is having a wonderful summer