together
Oh, life.
It's silly how many emotions can swirl through you at once. How life can be so good, genuinely, and yet not satisfying... or how so much can go wrong, while you remain entirely content.
Sitting in a love seat underneath a window, reading an engaging novel, munching on a bagel, sipping tea, basking in the sun. A perfect morning. And yet, empty. Companionship is so important. If a certain someone were in the room with me, not even talking to me, just enjoying the same things I am. Every once in a while, a touch, a look, a kiss, just to acknowledge that the mutual presence is still appreciated. Then it is complete. Nothing seems quite adequate until it is shared with someone else. I have a habit of relaying little messages throughout the day, to a best friend, my parents, my boyfriend. Inane details of life that I enjoyed or will at least be able to enjoy after having shared them. Is that unusual?
This is why the prospect of living life alone seems unreasonable to me.
You should establish that level of comfort and togetherness and understanding with a person. A person who thinks the same way you do, enjoys the same things, percieves those things the same way, who you want and would choose to discuss life with, of anyone, and who would choose you similarly. For sharing adventures, quiet tameness, philosophizing, dealing with grief, stress, anger, illness, swapping gossip, flirting, touching, exploring.... sex, conversations, art, movies, entertainment. You, and them. Learning and getting more from life than you would alone, because you are privvy to twice the perspective and cognation. Doing things alone, with other people, coming back and rehashing them with your partner. They explore independently also, and you get to live out a whole other life, one that you might not be brave enough, skilled enough, or even desire enough to have for yourself, but vicariously you can learn from it.
It seems that this is why most gravitate towards relationships, always seeking out that other. But relationships end, that synchronity, the mutual benefit, can shift or change. You are alone again, and again it is empty. But finding someone you are able to share all of life with is a huge project, and risk. How many times can you share yourself before it becomes dull? When do you become tired of relaying your preferences, memories, theories, quirks? How many new relationships can take their start before it becomes a trial, a process, rather than a fresh, exhilarating, unknown and natural happening...
Some people hang on to what they have, when they shouldn't. When maybe it is time to let go, just to avoid that emptiness and the false world of dating. Others refuse to reach that point, to protect from being too close. So many become jaded, hollow, they settle, they aren't able to dream of forever. Of the ideal. Meeting someone and living happily ever after. But the thing is, even the pessimists, the ones who have been burnt once or twice too often, so often DO end up just meeting that one, who sweeps them off their beaten, burnt out path, and fascinates them enough, for long enough, that it does become forever.
It lends hope, doesn't it?
It's silly how many emotions can swirl through you at once. How life can be so good, genuinely, and yet not satisfying... or how so much can go wrong, while you remain entirely content.
Sitting in a love seat underneath a window, reading an engaging novel, munching on a bagel, sipping tea, basking in the sun. A perfect morning. And yet, empty. Companionship is so important. If a certain someone were in the room with me, not even talking to me, just enjoying the same things I am. Every once in a while, a touch, a look, a kiss, just to acknowledge that the mutual presence is still appreciated. Then it is complete. Nothing seems quite adequate until it is shared with someone else. I have a habit of relaying little messages throughout the day, to a best friend, my parents, my boyfriend. Inane details of life that I enjoyed or will at least be able to enjoy after having shared them. Is that unusual?
This is why the prospect of living life alone seems unreasonable to me.
You should establish that level of comfort and togetherness and understanding with a person. A person who thinks the same way you do, enjoys the same things, percieves those things the same way, who you want and would choose to discuss life with, of anyone, and who would choose you similarly. For sharing adventures, quiet tameness, philosophizing, dealing with grief, stress, anger, illness, swapping gossip, flirting, touching, exploring.... sex, conversations, art, movies, entertainment. You, and them. Learning and getting more from life than you would alone, because you are privvy to twice the perspective and cognation. Doing things alone, with other people, coming back and rehashing them with your partner. They explore independently also, and you get to live out a whole other life, one that you might not be brave enough, skilled enough, or even desire enough to have for yourself, but vicariously you can learn from it.
It seems that this is why most gravitate towards relationships, always seeking out that other. But relationships end, that synchronity, the mutual benefit, can shift or change. You are alone again, and again it is empty. But finding someone you are able to share all of life with is a huge project, and risk. How many times can you share yourself before it becomes dull? When do you become tired of relaying your preferences, memories, theories, quirks? How many new relationships can take their start before it becomes a trial, a process, rather than a fresh, exhilarating, unknown and natural happening...
Some people hang on to what they have, when they shouldn't. When maybe it is time to let go, just to avoid that emptiness and the false world of dating. Others refuse to reach that point, to protect from being too close. So many become jaded, hollow, they settle, they aren't able to dream of forever. Of the ideal. Meeting someone and living happily ever after. But the thing is, even the pessimists, the ones who have been burnt once or twice too often, so often DO end up just meeting that one, who sweeps them off their beaten, burnt out path, and fascinates them enough, for long enough, that it does become forever.
It lends hope, doesn't it?