(no subject)
Well, nothing much has gone on here. Ive started packing stuff up so i can move out of here. I'm done for the year on May 1st baby!!!!!! Woo Hoo!!!!! Aaron is coming up on easter weekend. I cant wait, cuz that means we get to spend time together without me working! We would also get to sleep in the same bed. Thats definitely something we havent done in forever. I cant wait for my apartment next year. There will be so much more freedom. So Aaron suprised me at work the other day. Actually i was walking to my car after work, and he was by my car with a rose and a card. It was so sweet and romantic. Sometimes he suprises me. I love it when he does that. On another note, i was talking to aaron the other night, and we were talking about how i wanted things patched up with corey. I hate that weve kinda grown apart. Actually, it really hurts me. I asked corey if he was willing to bury the hatchet with Aaron. In a round-the-bush way, he refused. I wish he knew how much his refusal broke my heart. I miss being close to him. I also miss him and Aaron being friends. It was hilarious. I remember when i first started dating Aaron. He came to one of my choir concerts, and we were sitting in the audience, waiting to go on. Corey sat next to Aaron, and we were all talking. The topic of being gay came up (dont know why)and aaron and Corey looked at me and grabbed each others hands, and did the best gay voices ive ever heard. It was one of the funniest times ive ever experienced. I miss that so much. They were the greatest people in the world to be around. They are still great, even seperate. But it still hurts me that Corey and I have grown apart. In my thinking, it was me. I shouldnt have put Aaron in front of him. No matter how much I love Aaron. I shouldnt have let myself push Corey away. At least, in my mind, thats what happened. I am aware that Corey says that I didnt come between them, but if not me, then what, or who? I wish that it all could be resolved. It constantly breaks my heart that this all happened. Aaron knows this, and weve made our apologys to each other, and Aaron is willing to make his appologies to Corey, as am I. I just dont know how willing Corey is. I want to be close to him again. I wish he would feel the same way. I dont know what else to say or do. I've tried my best, but everything i say seems to upset Corey. Aaron told me not to dwell on it, but I cant help it. The pictures in my room are constant reminders of how it used to be. I feel so sorry for what i have done and what has happened. I wish it would end, but it seems like that will never happen. Maybe if i keep trying, it will happen, but thats highly doubtful. So much for wishful thinking. Well, its late, so i think im gonna end this. If you have any suggestions, please feel free to comment.