The Things I'll Never Say
These are the things I'll never say.
I'll never be able to how much you mean to me. You make me laugh. Goddamnit, you make me laugh even when I'm made at you. You've been a corner stone, a constant part of my life for 7 years, and you've never once given me reason to doubt you, not really. I watch you more than I should, and I never get bored, not even when you're doing nothing at all. Really, I'm just happy you're alive.
I'll never be able to tell you either, how much you've changed me. You've helped me and challenged me. You've made me grow as a person, and really you've held my hand when I couldn't do it alone. You smile at me when I'm angry, and you stand close when I'm upset. You don't know how to give much, but you give what you can and I know that. I know it every time you do it. You're an amazing friend. You always have been.
But really, the big one is that I'll never be able to tell you how I love you. Because I know you don't love me. not the way i want you to. The stupid thing is that we've talked about it. About how the best relationships spring from friendships. I've listened to you say how it's not applicable, because while all those other girls have all those other faults, my flaw is being too much your sister. It's that you already love me too much, in the wrong way. And I'll never say a word, because goddamnit, I'll be your sister forever if it means you'll keep me around.
I wish I could say this to you. But I can't.
I'll never be able to how much you mean to me. You make me laugh. Goddamnit, you make me laugh even when I'm made at you. You've been a corner stone, a constant part of my life for 7 years, and you've never once given me reason to doubt you, not really. I watch you more than I should, and I never get bored, not even when you're doing nothing at all. Really, I'm just happy you're alive.
I'll never be able to tell you either, how much you've changed me. You've helped me and challenged me. You've made me grow as a person, and really you've held my hand when I couldn't do it alone. You smile at me when I'm angry, and you stand close when I'm upset. You don't know how to give much, but you give what you can and I know that. I know it every time you do it. You're an amazing friend. You always have been.
But really, the big one is that I'll never be able to tell you how I love you. Because I know you don't love me. not the way i want you to. The stupid thing is that we've talked about it. About how the best relationships spring from friendships. I've listened to you say how it's not applicable, because while all those other girls have all those other faults, my flaw is being too much your sister. It's that you already love me too much, in the wrong way. And I'll never say a word, because goddamnit, I'll be your sister forever if it means you'll keep me around.
I wish I could say this to you. But I can't.