Article: Modifying a Child's Behavior Without Resorting to Bribes
Modifying a Child's Behavior Without Resorting to Bribes
In reading this, I can recognize that my parents very rarely used bribery on us growing up. I hardly remember any time when they said, "If you do this, you will get this." Instead, they almost always reinforced good behavior when it was voluntary on our parts. For example, if we ever ASKED my dad to stop for a milkshake or something, he'd look at us like we were crazy. But if we were running errands and behaving really well, suddenly we'd be pulling into the ice cream store and he would explain how much he appreciated how good we were even though we were bored, and we'd get milkshakes.
Another great example - we were NEVER given specific rewards for good grades. If our grades were bad, we would talk about why, and if they were good, well, that was just expected. But then I got a ton of scholarship money for college because I'd been such a great student in high school, and out of the blue my parents told me that due to my hard work and diligence, they were going to use some of my college fund to buy me a car, because of all the scholarship money I'd gotten.
You never forget those lessons, much like you never forget a great parent.
In reading this, I can recognize that my parents very rarely used bribery on us growing up. I hardly remember any time when they said, "If you do this, you will get this." Instead, they almost always reinforced good behavior when it was voluntary on our parts. For example, if we ever ASKED my dad to stop for a milkshake or something, he'd look at us like we were crazy. But if we were running errands and behaving really well, suddenly we'd be pulling into the ice cream store and he would explain how much he appreciated how good we were even though we were bored, and we'd get milkshakes.
Another great example - we were NEVER given specific rewards for good grades. If our grades were bad, we would talk about why, and if they were good, well, that was just expected. But then I got a ton of scholarship money for college because I'd been such a great student in high school, and out of the blue my parents told me that due to my hard work and diligence, they were going to use some of my college fund to buy me a car, because of all the scholarship money I'd gotten.
You never forget those lessons, much like you never forget a great parent.