Sleep!!
I dunno wots up with me at the moment......i cant get to sleep and then wen i do i cant wake up wen i need to. Its shitty. I feel lousy all the time, i fall asleep in lessons and i'm failin really badly a college. Have i got tooo much on my mind?? kinda i suppose worring about wot ppl think about me i suppose. i go to sleep worryin about wot the wear the next day so i dunt look like a tramp but i always end up lookin like one. my hair always looks shitty. i think i'm gettin to the point where i'm past caring about it. i always get the piss taken out of me cos i'm fat but i try and laff it off. i'm not one of these ppl who always goes on about it. but it does hurt. I try and find clothes that are in fashion that fit but by the time i can afford to buy them they arent in fashion. my excuse is that i'm tryin to make my own fashion but i look like a tramp gone wrong. i tryn to eat healthily but my mum isthe worst for this. she wont buy any healthy food and wen i tell her to she just buys a few pieces of fruit and then the next minute she says "i think u shud sto eating all that crappy food cos that wots makin u put weight on" YES I NO!!!! UR THE ONE FEEDING IT ME. I no i'm old enuf and ugly enuff to do things for myself but it would be nice to have some encouragement. All i hear from shep is " ur perfect as u are" and " i dunt want u to change". ARRRGGGGHHH!!!!! i want to be able to fit into clothes i actually like and not clothes that fit me cos i'm fat. well i'm guna go and stop moanin as usual