Pretend Love (1/2)
Title: Pretend Love
Author: emmer23
Rating: PG-13 for language
Summary: SPOILER ALERT for either 10x8 or 10x9 (not sure what episode the spoiler is for). Carlos comes to visit, and Callie, having not told her father about Arizona’s infidelity, asks Arizona to pretend like nothing happened.
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters.
A/N: This will just be a two-shot fic. I can’t really predict where they will be in their relationship at this point, so I’m assuming with some time, Callie is a little less hostile and Arizona has been a little more apologetic. So, that’s the context I’m working with. I hope you guys enjoy!
Pretend Love
It wasn’t being in the same room with her adulterous wife that upset Callie the most. It was being in the room with the woman she still loved who was trying desperately to hold herself together, to pretend there weren’t huge gaping cracks in her armor…who also happened to be her adulterous wife. It was the longing looks that Callie had ignored so effectively during the initial weeks after her wife’s betrayal. It was the fact that her traitorous heart would defy her brain by skipping a beat when Arizona walked through the room. The worst part of Arizona’s adultery was that Callie still loved her wife, and try as she might, she didn’t know how to stop.
So she didn’t file for divorce papers, she didn’t ask Arizona to take off her ring, and she didn’t stop loving her wife.
And that’s why Callie Torres was about to beg Arizona to pretend everything was just peachy when her father would be in town the following week.
o0o0o0o
Arizona raced down the halls as fast as she could, reaching her destination: the on-call room in the Ortho wing. She had been paged 311, which was a secret code she had with her wife. When they began dating, Callie would routinely page her to that on-call room for a quickie between surgeries.
Now, they didn’t talk. Well, they talked, but they didn’t talk.
Communicating was reserved solely for discussing Sofia or a rare joint surgery. Since they did not currently have any patients together, Arizona feared the worst: Sofia was hurt.
When she flung open the door, she was surprised by the sight in front of her. Callie stood next to the bunk beds, a sheepish half-smile on her face. Arizona hadn’t seen many smiles directed towards her from her wife since the storm; the ones she had seen had been sad smiles, pitying smiles.
“What’s going on? Is it Sofia?” Arizona asked, panicked.
“Uh…no, no, she’s fine,” Callie responded quickly. She couldn’t fault Arizona for her mothering instincts.
“Oh, thank god,” Arizona breathed. When she saw Callie’s mouth quirk, she narrowed her eyes. “Wait, so why did you page me?”
Callie sighed heavily, her eyes landing on Arizona’s chest, where her heart necklace still lay. “My dad is visiting next week. He has business in Portland, so he’s stopping by Seattle.”
“Ooookay…and?”
“Aaaand…” Callie fidgeted with the watch on her wrist, really hoping for some miracle, that her dad would call her in the next five minutes and cancel his trip.
“Oh my god, you haven’t told him?” Arizona’s voice was a mixture of shock and reproach.
Callie shrank slightly under Arizona’s withering stare, before remembering why they were here in the first place, and straightened up.
Arizona shook her head. “You haven’t told him that you’re living across the hall, that we haven’t spoken in months, that your wife is an adulterous whore?”
“Arizona…” Callie had said those exact words. But hearing Arizona call herself a whore with such resignation made her heart clench.
“Did you not learn your lesson with George?”
Blowing air through her pursed lips, Callie shook her head. “Apparently not?”
Arizona groaned. This was going to be utterly awkward for both of them. “Well, I’m at least glad I don’t have to endure his wrath.” Callie snorted in agreement. “What do you want me to do?”
“I was sort of hoping you’d pretend we were still together.”
Swallowing back the lump in her throat, Arizona shifted uncomfortably on her sneakers. Part of her wanted to stand her ground, wanted to show Callie how unreasonable this was. But the bigger part of her wanted a chance to be in the same room as Callie, no matter what the circumstances were. She desperately hoped that this would give her a chance to show Callie that she still loved her, that they could still be a family.
“This doesn’t actually mean anything,” Callie was quick to add. “I just really need you to do this for me.”
I’d do anything for you, is what Arizona wanted to say, but her brain was quick to remind her that it probably wouldn’t be an appropriate response.
Her brain instead settled for an eloquent: “um, yeah, sure.”
o0o0o0o
When Callie crossed the hallway from Mark’s old apartment, where she’d been staying, she knocked on the door to her former apartment hesitantly. The girl on her hip wriggled, excited to see her other mother.
Arizona opened the door with a breezy smile and immediately pulled the toddler from Callie’s arms, ignorant of Callie’s reaction when Arizona’s hands brushed against her forearms. “I’ve missed you, big girl!” Arizona cooed. “Yes, I have!”
Single-minded, Arizona took her daughter over to the living room, so that she could sit with her comfortably. Callie stood awkwardly in the doorway, at which she shook her head. This was ridiculous. It was her damn apartment, too.
“So, I think we should set some ground rules,” Callie stated suddenly, reminding Arizona she wasn’t alone with Sofia.
“Umm…okay?”
“I’m not staying the night. My dad’s at a hotel, so I’ll be going back across the hall as soon as he leaves.”
“I assumed as much.”
“There will be touching, but no kissing.”
“Oh, there will, will there?” Arizona’s mouth quirked upwards into a smirk.
“This isn’t funny, Arizona.”
“Oh, I’m certainly not laughing.”
“Look, Arizona, I don’t want to be doing this either, but I think you’d agree that it’s best for both of us.”
Arizona nodded; she couldn’t disagree with that. “Well, I guess we should get started on dinner, then.”
o0o0o0o
After taking a sip of her wine, Arizona resumed her task, slicing a baguette to make a loaf of garlic bread. She hazarded a glance at her wife, who was busy stirring the pot of pasta sauce, taking a sip from the ladle, and adding more oregano.
“This is nice,” Arizona chanced. When Callie didn’t respond, she elaborated, “working together, out of the ER.”
Callie smiled weakly at her. She figured she could be somewhat nice, considering her own cowardice was the reason they were awkwardly cooking together. “Yeah, it is.”
Arizona hummed her satisfaction, beyond thrilled to be getting any sort of pleasant reaction from Callie. She took another swig of wine, before placing cloves in between the cuts in the baguette. Being drunk in front of Carlos Torres was not something she wanted to do, but she was going to need some liquid courage to get through this night.
“My dad will be here soon. Can you go lay the table?”
Arizona nodded, and put the loaf in the oven. She grabbed a few plates and silverware, before rounding their bar to walk to the living room. As Arizona left, Callie rested her hands on the edge of the counter, sighing deeply. She hated this. She hated the awkwardness, the horrible small talk, the silence. But most of all she hated that all she wanted to do was push Arizona against this very counter and kiss her until she couldn’t breathe. Because being in such close proximity to her estranged wife without being able to kiss her or touch her or even laugh with her was actual torture. Arizona wasn’t even wearing anything particularly sexy; in fact, she had clearly gone for a demure look to impress Carlos. Callie was still 100% attracted to her wife. The fact that someone else’s hands had been the last ones on her didn’t change that fact.
Out of the corner of her eye, Arizona watched as Callie steadied herself against the counter and breathed deeply. She wasn’t happy that her wife was struggling, but she was glad to know she wasn’t the only one. She also couldn’t help but be pleased that Callie was still affected by her mere presence.
Both women were pulled out of their thoughts by a knock at the door. Callie rushed to the door, thrilled to have someone else to diffuse the tension.
“Hey, Dad!” she gushed, as she yanked the door wide open. Carlos grinned and pulled his daughter into an enveloping hug.
“It’s so good to see you, mi’ja.” Seeing Arizona standing silently behind Callie, Carlos opened his left arm out. “And it’s good to see you, mi otra hija.”
His other daughter. Callie sent Arizona a panicked look. The blonde merely shrugged and accepted her father-in-law’s hug. Carlos squeezed both arms, bringing both women together. With a sharp intake of breath, Callie placed a hesitant arm around Arizona’s waist.
“Okay, enough of that. We all know who I really want to see.”
Arizona laughed good-naturedly, while Callie attempted to regulate her breathing. “Unfortunately, she’s down for her nap at the moment, but you will be the first in line for Sofia hugs when she wakes up.”
As if on cue, a “Mama?” sounded over the baby monitor. Carlos’s eyes lit up. “I’ll get her!” he offered enthusiastically. He rushed into Sofia’s room, leaving the two women on their own.
“We only have two more days, Calliope. We can handle it.” Despite her use of Callie’s full name, Arizona’s tone was somewhat reproachful. Could her wife seriously not manage to be in the same room with her for more than five minutes? Was she that repulsive to her?
Callie’s eyes flashed darkly as she recalled the last time Arizona had made a similar remark.
“We just need to focus on the bigger picture…which is, you and I are getting married,” Arizona had said two years ago. And Callie had looked at her to find the most endearing, sweet, enticing smile staring back at her.
“We’re getting married,” Callie had responded, her own happiness bubbling up in her and spilling out into an uncharacteristic giggle.
Shaking her head, Callie wondered if Arizona even remembered that time. A time when all they had to worry about was finding a new officiant, a new location for their wedding, and of course, Callie’s bigoted mother. Callie snorted. How horrible had her life become that she would love to just go back in time to the moment when her own mother was disowning her? That such a time was preferable to this?
Before either has a moment to reminisce about that weekend, Carlos comes back into the room, holding his sleep and dazed granddaughter on his hip.
o0o0o0o
Throughout dinner, the three kept the conversation light, mostly regaling Carlos with all of Sofia’s adventures he had missed. Like the time she had jumped feet first into a mud puddle at the park, ruining the cute little suede shoes Callie had bought for her from Baby Gap. Or the time she’d held little Freddy’s hand at daycare because he was scared of the spider the older kids had caught. They left out the time she asked Auntie Cristina why Mommy was living across the hall now.
The two women played the perfect in-love couple. Callie rested her hand over Arizona’s wrist, brushing her fingertip along her skin in a familiar pattern. And Arizona leaned closer to Callie, looking at her adoringly as she told a story of an amazing surgery she had.
Neither was completely sure if the other was acting. Arizona was certainly more than a little bit hopeful that this was not acting on Callie’s part, that her wife still harbored at least a few feelings for her.
When dinner came to an end, Carlos bid them farewell and promised to come back in the morning. He suggested a family breakfast, to which Callie shook her head and said she had an early surgery. When Arizona absentmindedly remarked that she had the day off, Carlos was more than pleased.
“How about a trip to the zoo with my favorite in-law and my favorite granddaughter?”
Who was Arizona to say no to such an offer?
“That sounds…fun!” she said, plastering on her most convincing of fake smiles.
Carlos hugged all of them goodbye, and walked down the hallway to the elevator.
Callie shut the door behind him with a sigh. “You don’t have to go to the zoo with him tomorrow. I can make up an excuse for you.”
“Honestly, Callie, it’s fine. He should see Sofia as much as he can while he’s here, and it’s my day with her, so I’d like to spend time with her, too.”
“Okay, well, thanks for…pretending or whatever tonight. He didn’t seem to notice anything.” Callie grabbed Sofia’s hand to lead her across the hallway.
“Nope, we must be pretty great actresses,” Arizona replied. She just couldn’t help herself.
“Uh, yeah, whatever. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Arizona bent down to blow a raspberry on Sofia’s cheek, making the little girl giggle. “Goodnight, sweet pea. Be good for Mommy.”
With that, Callie and Sofia were out of the apartment, and Arizona was left with the longing, lonely, aching feeling that was all too familiar.
o0o0o0o
As Carlos ducked his head to take his seat in the back seat of the taxi Callie had called for him, he patted his pockets, realizing they felt lighter than usual.
“Seems I forgot my wallet upstairs. Do you mind waiting for a minute?”
The cab driver nodded and Carlos headed back into the building and up the elevator. The elevator announced its arrival on the fifth floor with a cheerful bing, and Carlos exited, heading down the hallway. When he was just a mere five feet away from his daughter’s apartment, both that door and the one across the hallway opened.
“Hey, Callie, you forgot Sofia’s - ”
“I think I forgot Sof’s beary - ”
The two women spoke at once, Arizona’s arm outstretched, holding Sofia’s worn, but loved, teddy bear.
“What the hell is going on?” Carlos’s voice boomed down the hallway.
Panicked, both women looked to the other one for guidance, but came up with nothing. This is not exactly how Callie had expected this talk to go.
Author: emmer23
Rating: PG-13 for language
Summary: SPOILER ALERT for either 10x8 or 10x9 (not sure what episode the spoiler is for). Carlos comes to visit, and Callie, having not told her father about Arizona’s infidelity, asks Arizona to pretend like nothing happened.
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters.
A/N: This will just be a two-shot fic. I can’t really predict where they will be in their relationship at this point, so I’m assuming with some time, Callie is a little less hostile and Arizona has been a little more apologetic. So, that’s the context I’m working with. I hope you guys enjoy!
Pretend Love
It wasn’t being in the same room with her adulterous wife that upset Callie the most. It was being in the room with the woman she still loved who was trying desperately to hold herself together, to pretend there weren’t huge gaping cracks in her armor…who also happened to be her adulterous wife. It was the longing looks that Callie had ignored so effectively during the initial weeks after her wife’s betrayal. It was the fact that her traitorous heart would defy her brain by skipping a beat when Arizona walked through the room. The worst part of Arizona’s adultery was that Callie still loved her wife, and try as she might, she didn’t know how to stop.
So she didn’t file for divorce papers, she didn’t ask Arizona to take off her ring, and she didn’t stop loving her wife.
And that’s why Callie Torres was about to beg Arizona to pretend everything was just peachy when her father would be in town the following week.
o0o0o0o
Arizona raced down the halls as fast as she could, reaching her destination: the on-call room in the Ortho wing. She had been paged 311, which was a secret code she had with her wife. When they began dating, Callie would routinely page her to that on-call room for a quickie between surgeries.
Now, they didn’t talk. Well, they talked, but they didn’t talk.
Communicating was reserved solely for discussing Sofia or a rare joint surgery. Since they did not currently have any patients together, Arizona feared the worst: Sofia was hurt.
When she flung open the door, she was surprised by the sight in front of her. Callie stood next to the bunk beds, a sheepish half-smile on her face. Arizona hadn’t seen many smiles directed towards her from her wife since the storm; the ones she had seen had been sad smiles, pitying smiles.
“What’s going on? Is it Sofia?” Arizona asked, panicked.
“Uh…no, no, she’s fine,” Callie responded quickly. She couldn’t fault Arizona for her mothering instincts.
“Oh, thank god,” Arizona breathed. When she saw Callie’s mouth quirk, she narrowed her eyes. “Wait, so why did you page me?”
Callie sighed heavily, her eyes landing on Arizona’s chest, where her heart necklace still lay. “My dad is visiting next week. He has business in Portland, so he’s stopping by Seattle.”
“Ooookay…and?”
“Aaaand…” Callie fidgeted with the watch on her wrist, really hoping for some miracle, that her dad would call her in the next five minutes and cancel his trip.
“Oh my god, you haven’t told him?” Arizona’s voice was a mixture of shock and reproach.
Callie shrank slightly under Arizona’s withering stare, before remembering why they were here in the first place, and straightened up.
Arizona shook her head. “You haven’t told him that you’re living across the hall, that we haven’t spoken in months, that your wife is an adulterous whore?”
“Arizona…” Callie had said those exact words. But hearing Arizona call herself a whore with such resignation made her heart clench.
“Did you not learn your lesson with George?”
Blowing air through her pursed lips, Callie shook her head. “Apparently not?”
Arizona groaned. This was going to be utterly awkward for both of them. “Well, I’m at least glad I don’t have to endure his wrath.” Callie snorted in agreement. “What do you want me to do?”
“I was sort of hoping you’d pretend we were still together.”
Swallowing back the lump in her throat, Arizona shifted uncomfortably on her sneakers. Part of her wanted to stand her ground, wanted to show Callie how unreasonable this was. But the bigger part of her wanted a chance to be in the same room as Callie, no matter what the circumstances were. She desperately hoped that this would give her a chance to show Callie that she still loved her, that they could still be a family.
“This doesn’t actually mean anything,” Callie was quick to add. “I just really need you to do this for me.”
I’d do anything for you, is what Arizona wanted to say, but her brain was quick to remind her that it probably wouldn’t be an appropriate response.
Her brain instead settled for an eloquent: “um, yeah, sure.”
o0o0o0o
When Callie crossed the hallway from Mark’s old apartment, where she’d been staying, she knocked on the door to her former apartment hesitantly. The girl on her hip wriggled, excited to see her other mother.
Arizona opened the door with a breezy smile and immediately pulled the toddler from Callie’s arms, ignorant of Callie’s reaction when Arizona’s hands brushed against her forearms. “I’ve missed you, big girl!” Arizona cooed. “Yes, I have!”
Single-minded, Arizona took her daughter over to the living room, so that she could sit with her comfortably. Callie stood awkwardly in the doorway, at which she shook her head. This was ridiculous. It was her damn apartment, too.
“So, I think we should set some ground rules,” Callie stated suddenly, reminding Arizona she wasn’t alone with Sofia.
“Umm…okay?”
“I’m not staying the night. My dad’s at a hotel, so I’ll be going back across the hall as soon as he leaves.”
“I assumed as much.”
“There will be touching, but no kissing.”
“Oh, there will, will there?” Arizona’s mouth quirked upwards into a smirk.
“This isn’t funny, Arizona.”
“Oh, I’m certainly not laughing.”
“Look, Arizona, I don’t want to be doing this either, but I think you’d agree that it’s best for both of us.”
Arizona nodded; she couldn’t disagree with that. “Well, I guess we should get started on dinner, then.”
o0o0o0o
After taking a sip of her wine, Arizona resumed her task, slicing a baguette to make a loaf of garlic bread. She hazarded a glance at her wife, who was busy stirring the pot of pasta sauce, taking a sip from the ladle, and adding more oregano.
“This is nice,” Arizona chanced. When Callie didn’t respond, she elaborated, “working together, out of the ER.”
Callie smiled weakly at her. She figured she could be somewhat nice, considering her own cowardice was the reason they were awkwardly cooking together. “Yeah, it is.”
Arizona hummed her satisfaction, beyond thrilled to be getting any sort of pleasant reaction from Callie. She took another swig of wine, before placing cloves in between the cuts in the baguette. Being drunk in front of Carlos Torres was not something she wanted to do, but she was going to need some liquid courage to get through this night.
“My dad will be here soon. Can you go lay the table?”
Arizona nodded, and put the loaf in the oven. She grabbed a few plates and silverware, before rounding their bar to walk to the living room. As Arizona left, Callie rested her hands on the edge of the counter, sighing deeply. She hated this. She hated the awkwardness, the horrible small talk, the silence. But most of all she hated that all she wanted to do was push Arizona against this very counter and kiss her until she couldn’t breathe. Because being in such close proximity to her estranged wife without being able to kiss her or touch her or even laugh with her was actual torture. Arizona wasn’t even wearing anything particularly sexy; in fact, she had clearly gone for a demure look to impress Carlos. Callie was still 100% attracted to her wife. The fact that someone else’s hands had been the last ones on her didn’t change that fact.
Out of the corner of her eye, Arizona watched as Callie steadied herself against the counter and breathed deeply. She wasn’t happy that her wife was struggling, but she was glad to know she wasn’t the only one. She also couldn’t help but be pleased that Callie was still affected by her mere presence.
Both women were pulled out of their thoughts by a knock at the door. Callie rushed to the door, thrilled to have someone else to diffuse the tension.
“Hey, Dad!” she gushed, as she yanked the door wide open. Carlos grinned and pulled his daughter into an enveloping hug.
“It’s so good to see you, mi’ja.” Seeing Arizona standing silently behind Callie, Carlos opened his left arm out. “And it’s good to see you, mi otra hija.”
His other daughter. Callie sent Arizona a panicked look. The blonde merely shrugged and accepted her father-in-law’s hug. Carlos squeezed both arms, bringing both women together. With a sharp intake of breath, Callie placed a hesitant arm around Arizona’s waist.
“Okay, enough of that. We all know who I really want to see.”
Arizona laughed good-naturedly, while Callie attempted to regulate her breathing. “Unfortunately, she’s down for her nap at the moment, but you will be the first in line for Sofia hugs when she wakes up.”
As if on cue, a “Mama?” sounded over the baby monitor. Carlos’s eyes lit up. “I’ll get her!” he offered enthusiastically. He rushed into Sofia’s room, leaving the two women on their own.
“We only have two more days, Calliope. We can handle it.” Despite her use of Callie’s full name, Arizona’s tone was somewhat reproachful. Could her wife seriously not manage to be in the same room with her for more than five minutes? Was she that repulsive to her?
Callie’s eyes flashed darkly as she recalled the last time Arizona had made a similar remark.
“We just need to focus on the bigger picture…which is, you and I are getting married,” Arizona had said two years ago. And Callie had looked at her to find the most endearing, sweet, enticing smile staring back at her.
“We’re getting married,” Callie had responded, her own happiness bubbling up in her and spilling out into an uncharacteristic giggle.
Shaking her head, Callie wondered if Arizona even remembered that time. A time when all they had to worry about was finding a new officiant, a new location for their wedding, and of course, Callie’s bigoted mother. Callie snorted. How horrible had her life become that she would love to just go back in time to the moment when her own mother was disowning her? That such a time was preferable to this?
Before either has a moment to reminisce about that weekend, Carlos comes back into the room, holding his sleep and dazed granddaughter on his hip.
o0o0o0o
Throughout dinner, the three kept the conversation light, mostly regaling Carlos with all of Sofia’s adventures he had missed. Like the time she had jumped feet first into a mud puddle at the park, ruining the cute little suede shoes Callie had bought for her from Baby Gap. Or the time she’d held little Freddy’s hand at daycare because he was scared of the spider the older kids had caught. They left out the time she asked Auntie Cristina why Mommy was living across the hall now.
The two women played the perfect in-love couple. Callie rested her hand over Arizona’s wrist, brushing her fingertip along her skin in a familiar pattern. And Arizona leaned closer to Callie, looking at her adoringly as she told a story of an amazing surgery she had.
Neither was completely sure if the other was acting. Arizona was certainly more than a little bit hopeful that this was not acting on Callie’s part, that her wife still harbored at least a few feelings for her.
When dinner came to an end, Carlos bid them farewell and promised to come back in the morning. He suggested a family breakfast, to which Callie shook her head and said she had an early surgery. When Arizona absentmindedly remarked that she had the day off, Carlos was more than pleased.
“How about a trip to the zoo with my favorite in-law and my favorite granddaughter?”
Who was Arizona to say no to such an offer?
“That sounds…fun!” she said, plastering on her most convincing of fake smiles.
Carlos hugged all of them goodbye, and walked down the hallway to the elevator.
Callie shut the door behind him with a sigh. “You don’t have to go to the zoo with him tomorrow. I can make up an excuse for you.”
“Honestly, Callie, it’s fine. He should see Sofia as much as he can while he’s here, and it’s my day with her, so I’d like to spend time with her, too.”
“Okay, well, thanks for…pretending or whatever tonight. He didn’t seem to notice anything.” Callie grabbed Sofia’s hand to lead her across the hallway.
“Nope, we must be pretty great actresses,” Arizona replied. She just couldn’t help herself.
“Uh, yeah, whatever. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Arizona bent down to blow a raspberry on Sofia’s cheek, making the little girl giggle. “Goodnight, sweet pea. Be good for Mommy.”
With that, Callie and Sofia were out of the apartment, and Arizona was left with the longing, lonely, aching feeling that was all too familiar.
o0o0o0o
As Carlos ducked his head to take his seat in the back seat of the taxi Callie had called for him, he patted his pockets, realizing they felt lighter than usual.
“Seems I forgot my wallet upstairs. Do you mind waiting for a minute?”
The cab driver nodded and Carlos headed back into the building and up the elevator. The elevator announced its arrival on the fifth floor with a cheerful bing, and Carlos exited, heading down the hallway. When he was just a mere five feet away from his daughter’s apartment, both that door and the one across the hallway opened.
“Hey, Callie, you forgot Sofia’s - ”
“I think I forgot Sof’s beary - ”
The two women spoke at once, Arizona’s arm outstretched, holding Sofia’s worn, but loved, teddy bear.
“What the hell is going on?” Carlos’s voice boomed down the hallway.
Panicked, both women looked to the other one for guidance, but came up with nothing. This is not exactly how Callie had expected this talk to go.