Crossing Borderlines - 5/?
Chapter 5
January 2013
They were conscious of the fact that they were just staring at each other in a mix of wonderment and trepidation, but they could not tear their eyes away. It wasn’t until the waitress came to take their drink order that they realized they were in public, that they were sitting in London, having dinner, nearly 10 years after they broke up.
“You had a good holiday, I trust?” Arizona broke the silence.
“Yes, very nice, just a small family gathering,” Callie answered vaguely. “You?”
“Oh, fine. Uncle Jerry, you know the one who’s not related but is just a family friend, got into the eggnog and kept trying to steer me towards the mistletoe, but I managed to get away.”
Callie made a face. She had met Uncle Jerry at Tim’s funeral and he had been respectful enough then, but she could see how he would be a bit creepy.
“You didn’t spend Christmas with Rachel, then?” Callie asked, aware that her question was hardly subtle.
Arizona smiled. “No, she spent it with her family up north. We’re not quite at the spending Christmas together stage yet.”
“Okay, so, sexy vacations together stage but not the big family gatherings stage yet, got it.”
“I’m glad you understand,” Arizona said with a laugh.
“I just know you too well,” Callie responded jokingly, though they both knew the bitterness that lurked behind the words.
“I’ve changed,” Arizona argued softly.
“So Rachel’s the one?” Callie asked, trying so hard not to show her involuntary jealousy.
“I don’t know if she is or isn’t, but I do know that when the one comes around, I’m ready to commit.” Callie was looking at her like she had three heads, so she could do nothing but laugh and throw her hands in the air. “I know! I’ve grown!”
When their laughter subsided into a pleasant silence, they found themselves staring at each other once more.
“I can’t believe we’re here,” Arizona said finally. “Sitting here, as friends, 10 years later…I just can’t believe it.”
Callie shook her head with a small laugh. “Me neither.”
“You think we can do this?” Arizona asked after taking a dainty sip of her wine.
“Do what?”
“Be friends?” she asked. “Just be friends,” she clarified.
“I don’t know,” Callie answered honestly. “But I’m completely willing to try.”
“Me too.”
o0o0o
January 2003
“Arizona!! Open the door. Right. Now,” Callie shouted as she pounded on Arizona’s front door.
“Jesus, Callie, where’s the fire?” Arizona asked blearily when she opened the door.
“What the hell are you wearing?” Callie asked, ignoring Arizona’s sarcasm.
“Um, PJs. I figured you of all people would know what my pajamas look like, Callie,” Arizona replied with a cheeky grin. “Or maybe you forget because you’re always trying to get me out of them.”
“This isn’t funny, Arizona!” Callie yelled, pushing past Arizona to enter the apartment. “You’ve missed four Brit Lit classes, three Stats classes, and even several Biology classes. You love Biology!”
“You’re checking up on me? You’re not my mother!” Arizona shrieked.
“I’m not checking up on you! I have Brit Lit with you, and Teddy came to me to say that she was worried about you! You know you missed an entire Bio lab? That’s 10% of your grade, Arizona,” Callie chided.
“Oh my god, believe it or not, I have other things to worry about than my grades. If you just came over here to nag me, don’t bother,” Arizona said, attempting to push Callie back out of the door.
“No. Arizona, no,” Callie said forcefully, resting her hands on Arizona’s shoulders. “I won’t let you do this. I won’t let you throw away your education because you’re going through a rough time.”
“Rough time? Rough time?” Arizona scoffed. “Breaking up with my first girlfriend, breaking my leg and being benched for the whole soccer season, coming out to my parents - those were rough times. My brother dying? Doesn’t even come close. Do me a favor, Callie, and don’t pretend you understand what I’m going through.”
“I’m not pretending that! I know full well that I can’t imagine what you’re going through and that kills me. But you know what I do know?” Arizona shook her head meekly, taken aback by the strength of Callie’s voice. “From everything I learned from your parents and family friends, I know that Tim would be disappointed to know that you don’t care about your education or your degree.”
Callie knew it was a low blow, but she could not bear to see her girlfriend doing this any longer. She expected Arizona to yell at her or cry, but instead she merely walked to the door and held it open, indicating for Callie to leave. Callie bowed her head slightly, admitting defeat, and walked slowly to the door. Once she was through the threshold, she turned to look at Arizona, who was clearly trying to hold back tears.
“Why do you care so much?” Arizona asked timidly.
“Because I’m your girlfriend. I’m supposed to care about you!”
“No, I’ve had girlfriends before, who would’ve run without a backwards glance instead of dealing with this baggage. So, why do you care so much?” Arizona repeated, picking at her nails in an effort not to meet Callie’s intense gaze.
“Because…” Callie started, searching for a reason, any reason, other than the one that kept flashing in her brain and threatening to spill out, but she came up short. “Because I love you!”
Arizona’s head snapped up. “What?” she asked breathlessly.
“I love you,” Callie said again, more confidently and less flustered. “And…and I know it’s a bad time to say that. But I do, so I’m not going to take it back.”
Instead of saying anything, Arizona rocked forward on her feet and pulled Callie down into a kiss. It only lasted a few seconds, but Callie could tell that it was a kiss of appreciation and gratitude. When Arizona pulled back, she blinked away her tears and placed a tentative hand on Callie’s cheek.
“Callie…I just…right now, I can’t,” she spluttered.
“I know.” With a sad smile, Callie stepped away from Arizona and through the door, walking down the steps without looking back.
o0o0o
A week later when Callie hadn’t heard a word from Arizona, she regretted her word vomit immensely. As hard as she tried, though, she couldn’t regret loving Arizona. She sighed and stuck her highlighter back in her book, haphazardly running the marker over words she presumed to be important.
She flipped the page, before shutting the book with a heavy sigh and leaning against her bed’s headboard. As soon as she closed her eyes, she heard a pounding on her door.
“Oh for the love of…” Callie muttered as she reluctantly padded over to the door. “Arizona?” she asked, shocked to see her girlfriend standing on the other side of the door after a week of silence.
“This is for you,” Arizona said, unceremoniously shoving an oddly shaped colorful flower into Callie’s chest.
“Um…thank you?” Callie said, plucking the flower from Arizona’s grasp.
“It’s not a rose, because you’re way too special and unique for a rose. It’s a bird of paradise. It means magnificence…which I think describes you perfectly. It also means freedom.” Arizona took a deep breath before continuing her rambling speech. “And…and I think that I feel lighter than I have in the last 6 weeks. I feel…liberated. You make me feel that way, Callie.”
“What made you change?”
Arizona shook her head. “I don’t know. I guess I just woke up and realized that I have a family, I have great friends, and I have you. My brother is dead, and I will miss him every day, but I still have him. And I have my whole life ahead of me. You were right, Callie, he would have been disappointed in me.”
“I’m so glad that…” Callie began.
“And…and I love you, too,” Arizona said before she lost her nerve.
“You do?” Callie asked, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.
Arizona nodded, her own smile spreading. “I have no idea why you love me, Calliope. I have no idea why you would put up with…this,” she said, gesturing to herself. “But god, am I glad you do. And knowing that you do just makes me love you more.”
Callie pulled her in, needing to be as close as possible. Resting one hand on Arizona’s hip, she cupped her cheek and pulled their faces together. Arizona matched her pose, bringing her body flush against Callie’s and tilting up her head to meet Callie’s lips.
As their lips brushed against each other’s, Callie pulled back just a hair. “Does this mean you’ll start going to class again?”
“Yes, Mom,” Arizona teased.
“Ew. Mood ruined.”
“Shut up and kiss me,” Arizona demanded. Who was Callie to say no?