Mission Party Like It's 1999 (1/1)

[emmer23]

A/N:  majincammy posted her awesome challenge fic yesterday, so I felt inspired to post the one I wrote almost nine months ago.  As she said, unfortunately this challenge never came to fruition, but it was still really fun to write.  And no, this is not meant to be taken seriously, lest there be some confusion.

I received the following prompt words/phrases to be included in the fic from 8030baxley.

• Smashing pumpkins
• An authentic burrito
• An obscure Washington state law
• A goat with a bad attitude
• The phrase “party like it’s 1999”

Mission Party Like It's 1999

Arizona was perched on her bent elbows, her head cocked to one side in thought.  She chewed on her bottom lip as she mulled over her ‘to do’ list and upcoming events.

“So, what do you want to do for your birthday this year?”

“You really want to talk about that?  Now?” Callie asked from her position in between Arizona’s thighs.

“Well, your birthday is in a week and I have nothing planned, so yeah, I want to talk about it.”

Callie groaned and pushed herself up on her knees.  She swiped at her mouth and chin and muttered something about “lesbian bed death”, before plopping down next to the blonde.

“Right, so what do you want to do?”

“I don’t know.  I was thinking something low key, just you and me and some candle light.  I don’t really like big birthdays after what happened at my 21st.”

“What happened at your 21st?”

“Oh well, you know, my parents had a hard time realizing I was growing up so they threw a party much more suited for a 12-year-old than a 21-year-old.”

Arizona giggled imagining what a crazy party the Torres family wealth could create.

“No, Arizona, stop laughing.  There was…candy.  And a piñata.  And a petting zoo…and I got bitten by a goat,” Callie mumbled.

Of course, this only made Arizona laugh harder.

“Seriously, Arizona!  It’s not funny!”

The blonde was now rolling on her side, clutching her stomach as Callie continued to explain her party and how eventually she and Aria snuck off with a bottle of tequila, only to be discovered and sent to their rooms by Carlos Torres.

“Oh my god, that’s it!” Arizona exclaimed when her giggle fit had finally subsided.  “We’re going to throw you another 21st birthday party.  Yeah!  A 21st redux.”  She grinned and nodded her head, thoroughly thrilled with her idea.

“No, Arizona, just you and me and…” Callie trailed off when Arizona leapt from the bed and bounded towards the kitchen.  “Where are you going?”

“There’s so much to plan and do now!” the blonde spitfire yelled back.

Callie sank back into the bed and groaned, rubbing her temples in an attempt to alleviate some tension.  She had a feeling this would not end well.

o0o0o

“Mmm fuck, Arizona.”  Callie’s head lurched back into the starched sheets below.  “That feels so…so good.”

Callie had literally no idea what Arizona was doing with her fingers and tongue, but she never wanted it to stop.  She ran her hands through Arizona’s matted hair and let out a long, low moan when Arizona hit a particularly sensitive spot.

“God, yes.  Don’t. Ever. Stop.”

As if Murphy himself were in the room to implement his laws, an annoying sound emanated from Arizona’s hip.  The blonde scrambled to retrieve the page, before smiling apologetically at her panting wife.

“No, no, no, you are not leaving right now.”

“I’m sorry, Cal - ”

“Just go,” Callie said, flopping back on the mattress.  “Go save a tiny human or whatever.”  Arizona smiled gratefully, but didn’t bother to correct her.  What she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her, and Arizona didn’t really want to be around Callie when she found out what prevented what was sure to be a mind-blowing orgasm.

Callie groaned as the door slammed shut behind Arizona’s sashaying hips.  She trailed a hand down her abdomen and stomach and smirked at the knowledge that she didn’t need Arizona for this particular task.

She moaned when her index finger reached its destination.  Her hips bucked involuntarily off the hard mattress as her finger dipped inside.

“Fuck!” she groaned when her own beeper sounded.  She scrambled to find it beneath the rumpled sheets and fought the urge to hurl it against the wall.  Knotting the ties to her scrub pants, she stalked out the door, grumbling about stupid drivers and their stupid broken bones.

o0o0o

“Welcome, everyone, to the first meeting of Mission Party Like It’s 1999!  Thank you all for volunteering your time!”  Arizona strode around the room purposefully and cheerfully while the others grumbled.

“Volunteering, my ass,” Cristina whispered to Meredith under her breath, her eyes never straying from the book she was reading.

“Oh but, Yang, you are volunteering!  You are voluntarily choosing to be here in order to be a part of that super cool heart surgery Teddy and I are doing next week!” Arizona’s smile was sickly sweet as she lowered her face directly in front of Cristina’s.

“And what do the rest of us get for helping?”

“Oh, Mark, I think you owe me a couple favors for sleeping with my wife and getting her pregnant, don’t you?”

“Well, I, for one, am excited to help!  I love parties!”  April brought out her camera for good measure and began taking pictures of the planning process, which everyone else vehemently opposed.

“Hey, did you know that smashing pumpkins against mailboxes is illegal in Washington?” Cristina asked suddenly and rhetorically.

“No, Yang, we did not.  Now if you would put away your damn obscure laws of Washington book away, we could get this started.”  This time it was Karev who had had enough of the group’s antics.

“Okay,” Arizona started, walking around the group as if they were her class.  “Callie had a fairly traumatic 21st birthday party involving a goat with a bad attitude…”

As Arizona droned on, the others in the room struggled to focus.  Some eventually fell asleep, while others busied themselves with other things.

“And so,” Arizona finally concluded loudly, regaining everyone’s attention, “our task is to make this the best 21st redux party she’s ever had!  Does everyone remember their assignments?”

“Um, do you mind repeating those?” Mark asked warily.

“If you hadn’t been playing Angry Birds while I was talking, you would know your assignment!”

Mark shrank back into his seat but looked on expectantly.

“Food, Mark.  You’re in charge of food.  Think you can handle that?”

“Yes, of course,” he said while standing to leave.  “Ma’am,” he added, before taking his seat again, when Arizona looked at him with raised eyebrows.

“That better not be sarcasm, Sloan!” Arizona said with a steely glare.  “Okay, so who else needs to know their assignment?”

One by one, the group raised their hands, followed by a sheepish April who had even been admittedly dozing off during Arizona’s speech.  The perturbed blonde rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips before rattling off their assignments.

“Karev, you’re in charge of the alcohol.  Grey and Yang, you guys have decorations.  Little Grey and Avery, you’re in charge of games.  And April, you are obviously in charge of documenting the event.”

The group nodded in acquiescence.  “And please don’t forget that we are focusing on Callie’s heritage,” Arizona added as an afterthought, though she had told them at least three times while they’d been asleep or not listening that this party would have a Cuban theme.

They all nodded on their way out of the room and Arizona could only hope that this party would not be a complete disaster.

o0o0o

“Oh, yeah, you’re going to have to get rid of those,” Yang said, while taking a breath from inflating what appeared to be a pool toy.

“The lollipops?” April asked incredulously.

“Yes,” Cristina replied unapologetically.  “I’m allergic.”

“Then…don’t eat one?” April replied hopefully.

“No, I can’t be around them.”

April narrowed her eyes.

“Plus, they’re illegal in Washington.  So, yeah, they gotta go.”  Cristina signified that the conversation was over by reattaching her mouth to the plastic nozzle of the toy.

April raised her eyebrows.  She was partly scared of the older surgeon, but mostly wanting to call her bluff.

“Lollipops. Are…illegal?”

“Yep!” Cristina was almost gleeful as she scampered to her bag to retrieve her useful book.  “Right, it says here.  Page 23, number 5.  All lollipops are banned.”  Cristina gave April a sickly sweet smile and then went back to her odd decorations job.

April grumbled about how she didn’t have a real job for the party as she took the box to the dumpster outside.

“I, ladies and gentlemen, am a genius,” Mark stated emphatically as he strode through the door with several boxes of god knows what and cases of beer.  When no one acknowledged his declaration, he cleared his throat.  “I said, I am a genius!”

“Oh!” Lexie jumped up from what she was doing.  “And why is that?” she asked sweetly, earning a glare from Jackson.

“I managed to find some authentic burritos in Seattle!”  Mark puffed out his chest.  “I win.”

“Not a competition, Sloan,” Avery said in a sing-songy voice.

Tension continued to fill the air as streamers were hung, decorations were placed wantonly around the room, and games and food were put out.  When the group was finally finished, they surveyed their work proudly.

Cristina cocked her head to the side when she realized her particular decorations seemed out of place.  “Uh, guys, isn’t Callie Cu - ”

“She’s coming!” Mark whispered in a frenzy after checking his phone.  Having turned off the lights, they all hid fairly conspicuously behind tables and chairs, except for Cristina, who merely propped herself against the arm of a chair, rolling her eyes at everyone else.

As the door burst open to reveal Arizona dragging her reluctant wife, an out-of-sync chorus of “Happy Birthday!” and “Feliz Cumpleaños!” rang out through the room.

“Oh, wow!” Callie gasped.  “And it’s Mexican themed!  How…fun!” Callie said with fake enthusiasm as she took in the sombreros, giant cacti balloons, and Mexican flags.  April took annoyingly close pictures of Callie’s reactions as she surveyed the room.

“Oh boy,” Arizona muttered under her breath as Mark approached them.

“Here, Torres, have a Corona!”

“Uh, thanks, Mark.”  Callie took the proffered beer and immediately took a large swig, downing about a third of it.  She had a feeling she would need it.  “So what’s with the theme?”

“Oh!  It’s um, it’s…” Arizona, god bless her, the woman who could come up with a speech at the drop of a hat, could not for the life of her get out of this situation.

“We thought we’d honor your heritage,” Mark replied with all the confidence in the world, as he perched an overly large sombrero on her head.

“But I’m Cub - ”

“Come on, shots of tequila all around!” Meredith exclaimed gleefully.  She was rarely gleeful, but when tequila was involved, she was positively jovial.

“We got you Jose,” Mark added, pleased with himself.

“Riiight,” Callie drawled with a nod, which was not nearly as smooth as she’d liked, given the sombrero on her head.  As soon as Mark was out of sight, Callie shot Arizona a pointed look.  The blonde merely shrugged and raised her arms in confusion, before giving her a dimpled smile which she knew the birthday girl couldn’t resist.  And luckily for Arizona, Callie definitely did not resist.  She leaned down to kiss the blonde soundly, sucking on her bottom lip languidly, and not caring that everyone was watching.  They giggled against each other’s lips as Callie’s sombrero fell to the ground.

Lexie cleared her throat.  “Who wants to play Pass the Jalapeno?”

“I’m sorry…what?” Callie practically screeched.

“Oh, I thought you would have played before!”

“Let me guess…it’s a Mexican kids’ game?”

“Yeah, we thought it would be a nice touch for you to remember your childhood,” Avery replied proudly.

Callie eyed each member of the group, trying to discern whether or not they were joking.  Every surgeon, except Yang, was beaming earnestly back at her.

“I’m Cuban, you morons!” Callie shouted, startling the group.

At this point, Cristina was practically doubled over in laughter across the room next to her only decoration.  There was an awkward silence as the group sipped from their Coronas and margaritas in lieu of speaking.  Callie’s eyes flitted around the room as she took in the Mexican décor in disbelief once more.  Her gaze darted across Cristina’s still-laughing form before scouring the games Lexie and Jackson had planned.  When she realized what had been propped next to Cristina, she let her eyes wander back to the amused surgeon.

“What the hell is that?”

“It’s a raft.”

“A raft.  That doesn’t really fit into the Mexican theme everyone was so hell-bent on doing.”

“Nope!” Cristina grinned, proud of herself.  “It’s Cuban!”

Arizona gasped and the others remained warily silent.  Callie chewed the inside of her lip, trying to decide whether or not to be offended.  She nodded her head slowly as she pursed her lips, glowering at the shorter woman.  Decision made, the brooding brunette took a step forward, and Meredith leapt in front of Cristina, her protective instincts kicking in.  Callie rolled her eyes and, with her superior strength, easily forcibly moved the tiny resident out of the way.  Cristina shrank back into the table behind her, before gasping when Callie enveloped her in a tight hug.

“Thanks,” the taller woman said simply.

“You’re…uh…you’re welcome.”

Tension somewhat defused, the motley group once again sprang into party mode, and drinks and conversation flowed effortlessly.

Eventually Callie grew tired of her lackluster party, and made a b-line for Arizona, pulling her away from her Peds conversation with Alex.

“You, me, that supply closet. Now,” she whispered hotly against Arizona’s ear.  The blonde shivered, before straightening her back.

“But, Callie, this is your party!  We can’t leave!”

“Arizona, I appreciate the effort, but this is a shitty party.  I can think of a thousand things I’d rather be doing and 99% of them involve you and do not involve clothing.”

“Is that so?” Arizona asked, running her fingers over the lapels of Callie’s jacket.

The brunette nodded with a smirk, before leaning down to capture her wife’s eager lips.  As soon as the kiss began getting heated, Arizona broke away and trailed her hand down Callie’s arm, grabbing her wrist and pulling her to the door.  Out of nowhere, Cristina rolled to them on a chair she’d procured from a nurse’s station.

“Yeah, you guys can’t do that.”

“And why not?” Callie challenged.

“Well according to this book, the only legal sex position is missionary between a man and a woman, so unless Roller Girl got a sex change and there’s a bed in that supply closet, what you two were just running off to do is illegal.  Just sayin’,” Cristina said with a smug smile.

When the two frustrated women turned to Cristina with death glares, she brought out her book and found the exact page where the archaic law was written.  She pointed it out to them, before wheeling away back towards her raft.

“I so take back that hug from earlier!”