Zewmanity
I went to a zoo yesterday. It smelled like a forest if I've ever been to one. Which I haven't. Because I live in the middle of nowhere. So as I was saying. It smelled like feces and leaves. I was stuck between, "Ah, Nature~" And "Ugh, Nature". We packed water, oranges, and sour skittles. The essentials, whatever. Let's blow this popsicle truck.
Gathered at my cousin's house to eat some grub before we take off. While waiting in the car, took a picture of my cousin's boyfriend's beep-beep-beemer. It reminded me of a plane, which is fitting, because the boyfriend is an airline pilot. I love aeronautics.
On the road now, I kept saying that I did not want to get a tan, and continued to slather myself in banana scented sunblock lotion.
God listened and gave us shade the rest of the day. It was awesome.
Some rocks.
And more rocks.
Did I mention that I live in a desert?
You know, tumbleweed. Cacti.
And some other nondescript stuff I'm too lazy to label.
Did I mention the cacti?
Oh look, oh my, look, look, ROCKS.
Amazing, isn't it. (Insert sarcasm here for those idiot few)
Finally, we've ARRIVED! HOORAH .. wait, where?
BLUEDUCK, I CHOOSE YOU! Oh wait, that's Golduck .. Damn, I always liked calling him Blueduck anyway.
This one was fenced. I bet it was because he tried stealing the other guys insurance.
Gawds, don't ever try hiring this fellow. He was just a prissy model. Fluffing his feathers and making such a ruckus.
Even started a fight with one of the interns. Which is ridiculous, since they're so much lower on the foodchain, if you know what I mean.
Even started a fight with one of the interns. Which is ridiculous, since they're so much lower on the foodchain, if you know what I mean.
But it's okay, it's all worth it because everyone laughed at his butt when he turned.
Guess he's not so puuuuuurtyy.
Insert witty commentary here.
Mr Prissy didn't let anyone sit for their break. Can you believe that? That turkey!
But it's okay (:
I don't know what the hell these are. I would imagine they were lost cousins of some sort of guinea pig. My cousin says they're wizards though.
Bambi and Thumper .. oh wait, that's not a rabbit.
I have shoes jut like these wizards. Do you think they'd be offended that I step on them all day?
This old crazy finally got knocked off her rocker, and started playing with the lynx .. inside the cage, mind you.
You'd think they'd put a lock or something. I thought society liked wrinklypeople.
She looks like a sweetheart.
But they were having marital problems.
As these were also.
Mr Donkey was a little depressed. He didn't tell me why.
He liked to eat dirt.
This goat is half Bloated Goldfish.
And the other half is YOUSHALLNOTPASSSSSS!!! Ahah. I'm so awesome.
I called all the aminals dewd. Dey rawked.. Totalleh.
This is a wallaby. Licking a block of ice.
I didn't see any water bottles for her.
She didn't either ):
Mr Wallaby in the mean time was scratching his beergut in a SCARTCHSRATCHSRACTCH frantic motion. But stopped once all five us stared at him at the same time. I think he's shy.
Chickens are weird. Are these even chickens? Heck if I know. Where's my nuggets, yo.
I dont think this one liked me.
I think ... this is ................ a camel?
And a .. sheep?
A ram, I'm pretty sure.
This .. I want to say a llama. But all I'm thinking are of cigarettes.
This is the dude who didn't like me. He was outside roaming.
While her pimp daddy was in lockup.
Sleeping.
See, this is how they roam. They don't mind. That goat there. The half BloatedGoldifish & YOUSHALNOTPAAAASSS kept following us.
Wait no, this one an alpaca. I swear. See that tuff of hair on the woodpost? SEE.
This is a chicken. .. I think. Some would argue it's a #4 with ranch on the side.
Wait .. I don't know what the hell this is. Let's just say it a Callamapaca.
This girl kept sticking her fingers into the wolf pen. I waited to take a picture of it falling off.
But the wolf took a look at her and decided it didn't want to eat fatty things.
Oh well.
I'm officially going to name this picture LEAH.
This is a turtle ....... with a really long neck.
Those are the HiWolfEatMyFingers hand. I waited for the turtle to snap at her. He didn't ): I was sad.
This is Bambi
Or something .. I dont know what's on its head. Maybe they're extra eyeballs to stare at you from behind.
This is a butt.
I dont know what the hell this is.
Honestly.
This is a bird wrestling with a feather.
No, really.
This ........... Sigh, hell, it could be an emu. I don't know
I never did like turkey.
I swear this dude knew I was thinking of a chicken salad.
I really didn't want to get close to this one. Can you imagine those horns up your ass?
Ouch.
Mr Donkey is still depressed.
I don't know why the ducks are here.
Here's .. oh, it's not Leah.
I don't think it is anyway.
This is- Oh, I give up. Too many ducks.
Still depressed, poor thing.
This is one of those weasel pets people always get. FERRET, yeah.
This horse may look big, but he was really like, three feet tall.
You can see in his eyes he's missing someone .. maybe someone green.
Lolol. Mr Wizard Dude.
Passed out after a night of partying.
At least he doesn't look like this guy.
................ Or this guy.
'Cause I'm awesome.
Peacocks are all the same to me now.
They're everywhere.
Like ducks.
This was uh, a thingymabob.
And a STALLION. There was a sign. It said Stallion, he was ... really big.
These horses looked bigger than po- Oh wait, I think these are ponies, just not the midget types. Baby horseys maybe
This .. thingy is on our flag somewhere. .................................. Buffalo?
This one was all by himself. It was sad.
This was even more sad; that they had to put up a sign. I guess those finger incidents were more likely than I thought.
Rocks.
More rocks. Oh, and a tree.
Horse rides. It sucked for them since they had saddles on, and no one was there.
But ... does that I meant I can't feed my fingers to the tourists either?
This girl had the prettiest blue eyes.
Green .. folligy.
Looking at this, he doesn't really look like a peacock to me. I mean, what's up with that neck?
I don't know what the hell this is.
This is a white peacock though.
SEE.
His butt was amusing. Very laugh worthy. It looked pokey.
I wanted to run over there, but noooo.
Look, treeeeees.
Moooooooooore trees.
I thought this was cute.
This shot is nice. It's like a dress.
Green stuff.
More green stuff.
Did I mention green stuff?
Who needs tissue paper when you have your mouth?
The popular girls.
The outcast.
.. Fingers, people. FINGERS.
Duck0rz
Duckling..orz.
He was swimming really moe-like.
The big kids.
And the turtles.
Some were sunbathing.
I spy a duck. I bet you can't. Biyaatch.
It was pretty empty.
Im getting tired of commenting.
Tuttles.
Aminals.
This is what my mom's pet turtle looked like. He ran away, then came back almost exactly a year later to to die at home x:
Yellow shorts, and pink suspenders. You can't get any cooler than that.
Some water thingy. Oh. Same picture-ish as the first picture.
This is the parking lot-ish.
This is a wall.
And a camel.
And "Old Town"
But it's really "Creepy Ass Ghost Town"
That's a chapel. The only remotely happy looking place. That made it the creepiest thing there.
No, seriously. It has the same fear-factor as waking up in the suburbs with neighbors who synchronize their grass mowing.
Its scary. Oh. While we were there. There was this shriek. This scream of agony. And everyone stopped and looked at each other, in a What The Hell look. Hurrr. I don't want to be here at night, it's creepy enough in the day.
But apparently they host "shows"
Supposedly a "hanging" show
It was really quiet.
That's supposedly a firetruck.
I like.
Getting ready to leave.
Huahahua
;)
Its a train that goes around the place, but apparently they run it from Tues-Sun .. It was Monday.
(My mom thinks he only said that because we were the only people there. Lazy bastard.)
There was one other person there. Duhh.
Look, scenery.
And more. Oh. I'm in the car now.
YEAH LOOK
PARANORAMAAAA
I thought of chew, Mr SheepHead. I figured we'd have fun in this valley, and pretend we're in an RPG.
This is a rock. That is red. Red Rock.
This is a new shiny building.
This is New York, New York. If you squint, you can see a castle to the right.
These are trees.
AND THE END!
Holy shit. FINALLY. This shit was hard ): I couldn't even bold/italicize some of the commentary like I wanted. Because I had to do it separately in a different page. Gaaay.
Gathered at my cousin's house to eat some grub before we take off. While waiting in the car, took a picture of my cousin's boyfriend's beep-beep-beemer. It reminded me of a plane, which is fitting, because the boyfriend is an airline pilot. I love aeronautics.
On the road now, I kept saying that I did not want to get a tan, and continued to slather myself in banana scented sunblock lotion.
God listened and gave us shade the rest of the day. It was awesome.
Some rocks.
And more rocks.
Did I mention that I live in a desert?
You know, tumbleweed. Cacti.
And some other nondescript stuff I'm too lazy to label.
Did I mention the cacti?
Oh look, oh my, look, look, ROCKS.
Amazing, isn't it. (Insert sarcasm here for those idiot few)
Finally, we've ARRIVED! HOORAH .. wait, where?
BLUEDUCK, I CHOOSE YOU! Oh wait, that's Golduck .. Damn, I always liked calling him Blueduck anyway.
This one was fenced. I bet it was because he tried stealing the other guys insurance.
Gawds, don't ever try hiring this fellow. He was just a prissy model. Fluffing his feathers and making such a ruckus.
Even started a fight with one of the interns. Which is ridiculous, since they're so much lower on the foodchain, if you know what I mean.
Even started a fight with one of the interns. Which is ridiculous, since they're so much lower on the foodchain, if you know what I mean.
But it's okay, it's all worth it because everyone laughed at his butt when he turned.
Guess he's not so puuuuuurtyy.
Insert witty commentary here.
Mr Prissy didn't let anyone sit for their break. Can you believe that? That turkey!
But it's okay (:
I don't know what the hell these are. I would imagine they were lost cousins of some sort of guinea pig. My cousin says they're wizards though.
Bambi and Thumper .. oh wait, that's not a rabbit.
I have shoes jut like these wizards. Do you think they'd be offended that I step on them all day?
This old crazy finally got knocked off her rocker, and started playing with the lynx .. inside the cage, mind you.
You'd think they'd put a lock or something. I thought society liked wrinklypeople.
She looks like a sweetheart.
But they were having marital problems.
As these were also.
Mr Donkey was a little depressed. He didn't tell me why.
He liked to eat dirt.
This goat is half Bloated Goldfish.
And the other half is YOUSHALLNOTPASSSSSS!!! Ahah. I'm so awesome.
I called all the aminals dewd. Dey rawked.. Totalleh.
This is a wallaby. Licking a block of ice.
I didn't see any water bottles for her.
She didn't either ):
Mr Wallaby in the mean time was scratching his beergut in a SCARTCHSRATCHSRACTCH frantic motion. But stopped once all five us stared at him at the same time. I think he's shy.
Chickens are weird. Are these even chickens? Heck if I know. Where's my nuggets, yo.
I dont think this one liked me.
I think ... this is ................ a camel?
And a .. sheep?
A ram, I'm pretty sure.
This .. I want to say a llama. But all I'm thinking are of cigarettes.
This is the dude who didn't like me. He was outside roaming.
While her pimp daddy was in lockup.
Sleeping.
See, this is how they roam. They don't mind. That goat there. The half BloatedGoldifish & YOUSHALNOTPAAAASSS kept following us.
Wait no, this one an alpaca. I swear. See that tuff of hair on the woodpost? SEE.
This is a chicken. .. I think. Some would argue it's a #4 with ranch on the side.
Wait .. I don't know what the hell this is. Let's just say it a Callamapaca.
This girl kept sticking her fingers into the wolf pen. I waited to take a picture of it falling off.
But the wolf took a look at her and decided it didn't want to eat fatty things.
Oh well.
I'm officially going to name this picture LEAH.
This is a turtle ....... with a really long neck.
Those are the HiWolfEatMyFingers hand. I waited for the turtle to snap at her. He didn't ): I was sad.
This is Bambi
Or something .. I dont know what's on its head. Maybe they're extra eyeballs to stare at you from behind.
This is a butt.
I dont know what the hell this is.
Honestly.
This is a bird wrestling with a feather.
No, really.
This ........... Sigh, hell, it could be an emu. I don't know
I never did like turkey.
I swear this dude knew I was thinking of a chicken salad.
I really didn't want to get close to this one. Can you imagine those horns up your ass?
Ouch.
Mr Donkey is still depressed.
I don't know why the ducks are here.
Here's .. oh, it's not Leah.
I don't think it is anyway.
This is- Oh, I give up. Too many ducks.
Still depressed, poor thing.
This is one of those weasel pets people always get. FERRET, yeah.
This horse may look big, but he was really like, three feet tall.
You can see in his eyes he's missing someone .. maybe someone green.
Lolol. Mr Wizard Dude.
Passed out after a night of partying.
At least he doesn't look like this guy.
................ Or this guy.
'Cause I'm awesome.
Peacocks are all the same to me now.
They're everywhere.
Like ducks.
This was uh, a thingymabob.
And a STALLION. There was a sign. It said Stallion, he was ... really big.
These horses looked bigger than po- Oh wait, I think these are ponies, just not the midget types. Baby horseys maybe
This .. thingy is on our flag somewhere. .................................. Buffalo?
This one was all by himself. It was sad.
This was even more sad; that they had to put up a sign. I guess those finger incidents were more likely than I thought.
Rocks.
More rocks. Oh, and a tree.
Horse rides. It sucked for them since they had saddles on, and no one was there.
But ... does that I meant I can't feed my fingers to the tourists either?
This girl had the prettiest blue eyes.
Green .. folligy.
Looking at this, he doesn't really look like a peacock to me. I mean, what's up with that neck?
I don't know what the hell this is.
This is a white peacock though.
SEE.
His butt was amusing. Very laugh worthy. It looked pokey.
I wanted to run over there, but noooo.
Look, treeeeees.
Moooooooooore trees.
I thought this was cute.
This shot is nice. It's like a dress.
Green stuff.
More green stuff.
Did I mention green stuff?
Who needs tissue paper when you have your mouth?
The popular girls.
The outcast.
.. Fingers, people. FINGERS.
Duck0rz
Duckling..orz.
He was swimming really moe-like.
The big kids.
And the turtles.
Some were sunbathing.
I spy a duck. I bet you can't. Biyaatch.
It was pretty empty.
Im getting tired of commenting.
Tuttles.
Aminals.
This is what my mom's pet turtle looked like. He ran away, then came back almost exactly a year later to to die at home x:
Yellow shorts, and pink suspenders. You can't get any cooler than that.
Some water thingy. Oh. Same picture-ish as the first picture.
This is the parking lot-ish.
This is a wall.
And a camel.
And "Old Town"
But it's really "Creepy Ass Ghost Town"
That's a chapel. The only remotely happy looking place. That made it the creepiest thing there.
No, seriously. It has the same fear-factor as waking up in the suburbs with neighbors who synchronize their grass mowing.
Its scary. Oh. While we were there. There was this shriek. This scream of agony. And everyone stopped and looked at each other, in a What The Hell look. Hurrr. I don't want to be here at night, it's creepy enough in the day.
But apparently they host "shows"
Supposedly a "hanging" show
It was really quiet.
That's supposedly a firetruck.
I like.
Getting ready to leave.
Huahahua
;)
Its a train that goes around the place, but apparently they run it from Tues-Sun .. It was Monday.
(My mom thinks he only said that because we were the only people there. Lazy bastard.)
There was one other person there. Duhh.
Look, scenery.
And more. Oh. I'm in the car now.
YEAH LOOK
PARANORAMAAAA
I thought of chew, Mr SheepHead. I figured we'd have fun in this valley, and pretend we're in an RPG.
This is a rock. That is red. Red Rock.
This is a new shiny building.
This is New York, New York. If you squint, you can see a castle to the right.
These are trees.
AND THE END!
Holy shit. FINALLY. This shit was hard ): I couldn't even bold/italicize some of the commentary like I wanted. Because I had to do it separately in a different page. Gaaay.