fic Matt/ Jensen , Matt/Gil,New Beginnings
Rating:
Mature
M/M
Fandom:
Supernatural RPF
Relationships:
Jensen Ackles/Matt CohenMatt Cohen/Gil McKinney
Characters:
Gil McKinneyMatt CohenJensen Ackles
Additional Tags:
Implied/Referenced Cheating
Matt had been with Jensen for a few years. Being the lesser star of Supernatural, he was the fun-loving, doting boyfriend. He had loved him for so long; Jensen was his star for so long, had his heart for years. Even before they started dating he would go to cons, and stay on set all day just to be close to him. He was not a big fan of Jared; he knew Jared had a crush on Jensen and Matt knew Jensen was not oblivious to Jared’s crush, but he never did anything or even mentioned it. Matt was proud of him for that.
They once had an epic love story. Matt loved how sexy and adventurous Jensen was and Jensen loved how kind -hearted and supportive Matt was. But now things were different. They had drifted apart; Jensen was all work and would be shooting, at cons or Jensen was working at home on his lines in the Dean mindset. Matt was pushed aside: Jensen never had time for Matt anymore and they both knew it. Matt would stay on set and Jensen would hardly say two words to him. They were not the same two people they used to be and it crushed their relationship, but one nor the other would admit it. They had invested too much time together and thought that maybe, just maybe they could get through this tough time, little did they know that their fate was doomed the day wide-eyed cutie Gil McKinney walked on the Supernatural set.
He was ready and willing for anything the writers threw at him and he was all smiles. He was playing the time traveling Man of Letter grandpa, Henry Winchester. Matt was no longer bitter about the fight Jensen and he had the night before due to the fact he was out with Jared and running lines and whatever else Jensen did. So, that was why Matt was on set, bored out of his mind that day Gil came in. It had been late in the day and he was doing the boyfriend thing like always, not expecting for Jensen to follow through on any of his promises of a date that night to make it up to him. When Gil was ready to shoot his pages with Jensen and Jared, he was all business, but Matt was in awe. He was so cute, hot and oh so pretty. Matt was almost drooling, he had never really thought of any other man, other then Jensen as drop dead sexy, but he did not want to stare at him while he was shooting. Matt wanted to meet him desperately and was honestly in awe, hopelessly starstruck by this guy.
He waited for the scene to wrap and want to find Jensen and ask about the super handsome man. Matt did not really know why he found him so appealing, he had a handsome boyfriend but he wanted to meet him with every fiber of his being. By the time Matt had the courage to introduce himself to the actor, Gil came up to him and smiled wide at him, telling him who he was. Matt smiled so wide it made his face hurt. Not really thinking about meeting up with Jensen, Gil was not not needed for Jensen's next scene so he and Matt talked. Matt told Gil all about himself and how he and Jensen got together. Gil told Matt how he was playing John Winchester’s father. Matt laughed at that; this guy was actually playing his dad it was kinda funny Matt thought. They talked about how Gil liked being on the show and Gil told him it was one of the best acting jobs he had. Everyone was so nice and professional and he liked that on a set. They were talking so much they did not even notice Jensen’s scene was over.
Gil was called back to set with Jensen. Gil smiled and winked as he left Matt and went back to his mark, and Matt was alone again falling into the background like he had so many times before. It was the price you pay, he thought for having a boyfriend who was the star of the show. Sitting on set could be so boring, but he wanted to be there for Jensen. He waited for what seemed like hours, when Jensen did finish his scene he had come back to where Matt was looking like he had been beat to hell. Matt tried to kiss him and be the supportive boyfriend, but Jensen only give him a short peck on the cheek, saying he was still in the Dean mode and wanted to change before they got all cuddly.
Matt nodded and shrugged it off, knowing he could not fake it much longer. He and Jensen were just getting tiring. Matt knew then there would be no date. He was upset but he expected this, it was the norm for them now. Jensen and Matt said their goodbyes to the cast and crew as they walked to the front set lot to get to Jensen's car in silence, not saying a word to each other. Jensen was known for taking his work home with him and Matt knew it too. Matt had grown to just ride it out until all of Dean was gone for the night and there was only Jensen. While they were waiting for the car to be brought around, Matt saw Gil standing waiting for a cab. Jensen noticed and waved but did not really give it more thought than that. Matt on the other hand went over. Gil was a bit startled but they started talking. Jensen did not really notice while he was in the process of de-Deaning as he liked to call it. Matt told Gil he did not have to wait for a car, that Jensen had one and that they could give him a ride. Jensen heard the last part and came over and quickly agreed that they should give him a ride. He liked Gil enough why not?, he thought. They made there way to Jensen’s car and got in. Before he started the car, he asked Gil where he was staying. He told them what hotel and Jensnen shook his head no, he would not have that, extended the olive branch and said he could crash at his place since they had reshoots tomorrow; two birds one stone he thought. They had the room what harm was it going to do he thought. But he had no idea that his boyfriend was having a Gil induced hard-on.
All the way to the house, Matt said nothing, just looked in the rear view mirror and Gil would smile softly to him. Matt knew then Gil knew what he was doing to him. Matt had to think the whole drive as to how he was going to make it with Gil sleeping in the home Jensen and he shared. How was he going to resist this guy? Matt was in way over his head; not to mention the guilt of feeling this way for someone who was not Jensen. Matt was pulled out of his thoughts when they pulled into the driveway. They entered the house and they showed Gil where he was sleeping and the bathroom was for a shower. He nodded and went to put his things away and get the makeup off. As Gil did that Jensen walked over to Matt and kissed him deeply. Matt knew it was not real and a bit showy due to Gil being there. He was never like this anymore. In the moment, Matt also thought Jensen might be threatened by Gil, but Jensen would never show anything like that to Matt, not anymore. At best they were roommates now and had been for a very long time. When the kiss ended Jensen ran off telling Matt he wanted to run lines. Matt nodded and waved him off. Matt was a bit sad and guilty for liking Gil and knowing that he and Jensen were not going to feel the same for each other as they once did. Matt shook it off, want to the kitchen got a beer and sat down in front of the TV looking at all the scripts he and Jensen had been sent.
Gil emerged from the guest bedroom showered and clean, smelling of apples and he sat down next to Matt and smiled. Matt smiled back brightly giving him all teeth. Gil even blushed and Matt’s cock was fattening again. Gil was so sexy as he blushed. Matt was in awe, it was Gil who was the one to break Matt’s gaze and spoke up, "I wanted to tell you thank you for letting me stay with you guys. It’s very gracious of you both.” Matt nodded and said, "It’s no big deal really you and Jensen have to be back on set tomorrow anyway, so there’s no reason to not stay here."
Gil nodded and with that they made small talk about roles and how they each became actors. It was something Matt had not gotten with Jensen in a long time. Then Gil asked about Jensen and Matt sighed and scrubbed his hand over his face. He was dreading this talk. "The thing is Gil, Jensen and I were in love once, like madly and deeply but things change; life, work, having a huge fandom they can tend to put a toll and make cracks in relationships. I think that’s what happened with Jensen and I. He has been so focused on work lately that it has just we’ve been pushed away from each other."
Gil was listening with full attention, so Matt want on. “He has been having huge story arc with demon Dean and the mark of Cain and cons and such that it has taken its toll on him. He is always in Dean mode and it is hard to get him back from that. I have always been proud of him and with his show and how he handles himself. It’s just now it’s not even like we’re dating anymore. He is married to his work and I get it. But his work is so hard on both of us. I mean we have not even had sex in almost a year.” Matt knew he should not have told Gil that but he did and Gil nodded taking in all Matt was saying.
Gil moved closer and scooted next to him and looked deeply in Matt’s eyes. "I am so sorry you have to go through this Matt. It must be hard to feel like you’re not wanted by the one person you love most." Matt nodded and looked sadly at Gil, "I mean Jensen is amazing, smart, sweet, funny and caring, but a workaholic and I wish I had known that." He looked down sadly. Gil took Matt’s hand in his and it give Matt chills; the good kind. He blushed and Gil noticed and thought it was the most adorable thing ever. Gil had his eye on Matt for a while but he never knew how to act. One, he was in a relationship and two, Gil was kind of shy if he was being honest with himself. He wanted Matt though. So, he needed to go for it. He took Matt by the hand and led him to a blue and silver truck and told him to take a chance and go with him, maybe get some coffee since it had been a long and tiring day. Matt smiled and went with him. He checked his phone and saw nothing so he figured Jensen didn’t care much. Matt was not sure what if anything would happen with Gil but he felt kinda bad. He was with Jensen after all and he was lusting after someone else who was so not his boyfriend.
Jensen had changed. He was too big for Matt now, too busy and he figured no one would blame him if he sought attention and interaction from someone when his boyfriend didn’t give him the time of day. When he got in the truck, Gil was chatting with him and told him that he deserved better than what he was getting. Matt could not disagree. When Gil scooted closer to him and cupped his face, “Matt do you think, um that we could ever ya know be like a thing? I mean if that would be something you would want.” Matt smiled brightly, he did want Gil in some way. Most of his feelings of love for Jensen had dissipated almost all together they were just going through the motions now.
Matt nodded but didn’t respond just leaned in and kissed him gently and he gasped and pulled away quickly. Gil smiled, “I should drive you home.” Matt nodded, “Yeah that sounds good,” The ride was quiet and packed with tension. They both knew how they felt about each other. Now it was just a question of what to do, which Matt wasn’t sure about, but he was sure he wanted to go back to kissing Gil and he suspected Gil felt the same. So, when they arrived the home that he shared with Jensen, he noticed Jensen wasn’t there, and doubted that he would be home that night.
Matt looked at Gil and smiled brightly, “Hey why don’t you come in? Ya know I can order a pizza we can talk, it’s been awhile since I had someone just to shoot the shit with you. Gil nodded, “Yeah I get it man, sure I mean just for a bit okay.” Matt smiled with excitement. After hours of chatting, eating two pizzas and laughing at jokes and dumb stories, it was getting late. Gil got up, “I should go.” Matt got up too, he didn’t want Gil to leave. “Hey stay over Jensen is not home and you can sleep in the guest room. You shouldn’t be driving so late anyway. Gil smiled, Matt if I didn’t know any better I would think you liked me.” Matt laughed, Maybe I do and I know it’s wrong to want you when I have Jensen but we have grown apart and I don’t know what to do. I am so confused.” Gil held onto him letting him cry softly.
“It’s okay maybe Jensen will understand, maybe things will work out.” Matt knew that was not how it would and could be. He and Jensen had tried to break up and it was horrible. Well not for him but Jensen and he hated seeing Jensen like that so they got back together but it was the same as it had always been. When Matt finally calmed down Gil walked him to the nearest bedroom and lay down with him, “It will be okay Matt, it has to be. Gil kissed him gently, their eyes locking and his hands roaming down his body. He wanted Matt to not be sad, he didn’t ever want to see this anguish in him like this again. “Do you want me to talk to Jensen?” Gil asked. “What would you say really? Jensen is going to be hurt. So everything would be a mess.” Gil agreed and looked into his eyes and held his hands in his as he sang “As Time Goes By” to a sad and distraught Matt went to sleep.
The next day Matt got up and noticed Jensen was still not home. It was nothing new but he hoped he wouldn’t have to go to set to break up with his boyfriend but it was looking that way. Gil was getting up to a noticeably worried Matt and knew he had to take Matt to the set. He was too sad and messed up to drive so he said he would take him. Matt thought this was it things would be better this way for him for Jensen, Matt thought to himself. Breaking up with Jensen was what it had come to. They weren’t in love any more. It had been a while since they even said it to each other when. Matt got to the set he was having a panic attack in Gil’s truck. Gil enveloped him in a tight and warm hug letting him know it was okay to be sad and scared, but that he would be here for him. And that they could make it through whatever was to come. So he got out of the truck and marched onto the set, and ran into Jensen. He took him aside and told him that he couldn’t do it anymore; that things had changed and Jensen knew it was coming. He had a feeling Jensen wasn’t mad and he thought the same where time had run its course. Now they could pursue something new, something real and Matt was starting to think that those things could be with Gil. He hoped Gil wanted that too and they could embark on this new journey and start a new beginning together.
Mature
M/M
Fandom:
Supernatural RPF
Relationships:
Jensen Ackles/Matt CohenMatt Cohen/Gil McKinney
Characters:
Gil McKinneyMatt CohenJensen Ackles
Additional Tags:
Implied/Referenced Cheating
Matt had been with Jensen for a few years. Being the lesser star of Supernatural, he was the fun-loving, doting boyfriend. He had loved him for so long; Jensen was his star for so long, had his heart for years. Even before they started dating he would go to cons, and stay on set all day just to be close to him. He was not a big fan of Jared; he knew Jared had a crush on Jensen and Matt knew Jensen was not oblivious to Jared’s crush, but he never did anything or even mentioned it. Matt was proud of him for that.
They once had an epic love story. Matt loved how sexy and adventurous Jensen was and Jensen loved how kind -hearted and supportive Matt was. But now things were different. They had drifted apart; Jensen was all work and would be shooting, at cons or Jensen was working at home on his lines in the Dean mindset. Matt was pushed aside: Jensen never had time for Matt anymore and they both knew it. Matt would stay on set and Jensen would hardly say two words to him. They were not the same two people they used to be and it crushed their relationship, but one nor the other would admit it. They had invested too much time together and thought that maybe, just maybe they could get through this tough time, little did they know that their fate was doomed the day wide-eyed cutie Gil McKinney walked on the Supernatural set.
He was ready and willing for anything the writers threw at him and he was all smiles. He was playing the time traveling Man of Letter grandpa, Henry Winchester. Matt was no longer bitter about the fight Jensen and he had the night before due to the fact he was out with Jared and running lines and whatever else Jensen did. So, that was why Matt was on set, bored out of his mind that day Gil came in. It had been late in the day and he was doing the boyfriend thing like always, not expecting for Jensen to follow through on any of his promises of a date that night to make it up to him. When Gil was ready to shoot his pages with Jensen and Jared, he was all business, but Matt was in awe. He was so cute, hot and oh so pretty. Matt was almost drooling, he had never really thought of any other man, other then Jensen as drop dead sexy, but he did not want to stare at him while he was shooting. Matt wanted to meet him desperately and was honestly in awe, hopelessly starstruck by this guy.
He waited for the scene to wrap and want to find Jensen and ask about the super handsome man. Matt did not really know why he found him so appealing, he had a handsome boyfriend but he wanted to meet him with every fiber of his being. By the time Matt had the courage to introduce himself to the actor, Gil came up to him and smiled wide at him, telling him who he was. Matt smiled so wide it made his face hurt. Not really thinking about meeting up with Jensen, Gil was not not needed for Jensen's next scene so he and Matt talked. Matt told Gil all about himself and how he and Jensen got together. Gil told Matt how he was playing John Winchester’s father. Matt laughed at that; this guy was actually playing his dad it was kinda funny Matt thought. They talked about how Gil liked being on the show and Gil told him it was one of the best acting jobs he had. Everyone was so nice and professional and he liked that on a set. They were talking so much they did not even notice Jensen’s scene was over.
Gil was called back to set with Jensen. Gil smiled and winked as he left Matt and went back to his mark, and Matt was alone again falling into the background like he had so many times before. It was the price you pay, he thought for having a boyfriend who was the star of the show. Sitting on set could be so boring, but he wanted to be there for Jensen. He waited for what seemed like hours, when Jensen did finish his scene he had come back to where Matt was looking like he had been beat to hell. Matt tried to kiss him and be the supportive boyfriend, but Jensen only give him a short peck on the cheek, saying he was still in the Dean mode and wanted to change before they got all cuddly.
Matt nodded and shrugged it off, knowing he could not fake it much longer. He and Jensen were just getting tiring. Matt knew then there would be no date. He was upset but he expected this, it was the norm for them now. Jensen and Matt said their goodbyes to the cast and crew as they walked to the front set lot to get to Jensen's car in silence, not saying a word to each other. Jensen was known for taking his work home with him and Matt knew it too. Matt had grown to just ride it out until all of Dean was gone for the night and there was only Jensen. While they were waiting for the car to be brought around, Matt saw Gil standing waiting for a cab. Jensen noticed and waved but did not really give it more thought than that. Matt on the other hand went over. Gil was a bit startled but they started talking. Jensen did not really notice while he was in the process of de-Deaning as he liked to call it. Matt told Gil he did not have to wait for a car, that Jensen had one and that they could give him a ride. Jensen heard the last part and came over and quickly agreed that they should give him a ride. He liked Gil enough why not?, he thought. They made there way to Jensen’s car and got in. Before he started the car, he asked Gil where he was staying. He told them what hotel and Jensnen shook his head no, he would not have that, extended the olive branch and said he could crash at his place since they had reshoots tomorrow; two birds one stone he thought. They had the room what harm was it going to do he thought. But he had no idea that his boyfriend was having a Gil induced hard-on.
All the way to the house, Matt said nothing, just looked in the rear view mirror and Gil would smile softly to him. Matt knew then Gil knew what he was doing to him. Matt had to think the whole drive as to how he was going to make it with Gil sleeping in the home Jensen and he shared. How was he going to resist this guy? Matt was in way over his head; not to mention the guilt of feeling this way for someone who was not Jensen. Matt was pulled out of his thoughts when they pulled into the driveway. They entered the house and they showed Gil where he was sleeping and the bathroom was for a shower. He nodded and went to put his things away and get the makeup off. As Gil did that Jensen walked over to Matt and kissed him deeply. Matt knew it was not real and a bit showy due to Gil being there. He was never like this anymore. In the moment, Matt also thought Jensen might be threatened by Gil, but Jensen would never show anything like that to Matt, not anymore. At best they were roommates now and had been for a very long time. When the kiss ended Jensen ran off telling Matt he wanted to run lines. Matt nodded and waved him off. Matt was a bit sad and guilty for liking Gil and knowing that he and Jensen were not going to feel the same for each other as they once did. Matt shook it off, want to the kitchen got a beer and sat down in front of the TV looking at all the scripts he and Jensen had been sent.
Gil emerged from the guest bedroom showered and clean, smelling of apples and he sat down next to Matt and smiled. Matt smiled back brightly giving him all teeth. Gil even blushed and Matt’s cock was fattening again. Gil was so sexy as he blushed. Matt was in awe, it was Gil who was the one to break Matt’s gaze and spoke up, "I wanted to tell you thank you for letting me stay with you guys. It’s very gracious of you both.” Matt nodded and said, "It’s no big deal really you and Jensen have to be back on set tomorrow anyway, so there’s no reason to not stay here."
Gil nodded and with that they made small talk about roles and how they each became actors. It was something Matt had not gotten with Jensen in a long time. Then Gil asked about Jensen and Matt sighed and scrubbed his hand over his face. He was dreading this talk. "The thing is Gil, Jensen and I were in love once, like madly and deeply but things change; life, work, having a huge fandom they can tend to put a toll and make cracks in relationships. I think that’s what happened with Jensen and I. He has been so focused on work lately that it has just we’ve been pushed away from each other."
Gil was listening with full attention, so Matt want on. “He has been having huge story arc with demon Dean and the mark of Cain and cons and such that it has taken its toll on him. He is always in Dean mode and it is hard to get him back from that. I have always been proud of him and with his show and how he handles himself. It’s just now it’s not even like we’re dating anymore. He is married to his work and I get it. But his work is so hard on both of us. I mean we have not even had sex in almost a year.” Matt knew he should not have told Gil that but he did and Gil nodded taking in all Matt was saying.
Gil moved closer and scooted next to him and looked deeply in Matt’s eyes. "I am so sorry you have to go through this Matt. It must be hard to feel like you’re not wanted by the one person you love most." Matt nodded and looked sadly at Gil, "I mean Jensen is amazing, smart, sweet, funny and caring, but a workaholic and I wish I had known that." He looked down sadly. Gil took Matt’s hand in his and it give Matt chills; the good kind. He blushed and Gil noticed and thought it was the most adorable thing ever. Gil had his eye on Matt for a while but he never knew how to act. One, he was in a relationship and two, Gil was kind of shy if he was being honest with himself. He wanted Matt though. So, he needed to go for it. He took Matt by the hand and led him to a blue and silver truck and told him to take a chance and go with him, maybe get some coffee since it had been a long and tiring day. Matt smiled and went with him. He checked his phone and saw nothing so he figured Jensen didn’t care much. Matt was not sure what if anything would happen with Gil but he felt kinda bad. He was with Jensen after all and he was lusting after someone else who was so not his boyfriend.
Jensen had changed. He was too big for Matt now, too busy and he figured no one would blame him if he sought attention and interaction from someone when his boyfriend didn’t give him the time of day. When he got in the truck, Gil was chatting with him and told him that he deserved better than what he was getting. Matt could not disagree. When Gil scooted closer to him and cupped his face, “Matt do you think, um that we could ever ya know be like a thing? I mean if that would be something you would want.” Matt smiled brightly, he did want Gil in some way. Most of his feelings of love for Jensen had dissipated almost all together they were just going through the motions now.
Matt nodded but didn’t respond just leaned in and kissed him gently and he gasped and pulled away quickly. Gil smiled, “I should drive you home.” Matt nodded, “Yeah that sounds good,” The ride was quiet and packed with tension. They both knew how they felt about each other. Now it was just a question of what to do, which Matt wasn’t sure about, but he was sure he wanted to go back to kissing Gil and he suspected Gil felt the same. So, when they arrived the home that he shared with Jensen, he noticed Jensen wasn’t there, and doubted that he would be home that night.
Matt looked at Gil and smiled brightly, “Hey why don’t you come in? Ya know I can order a pizza we can talk, it’s been awhile since I had someone just to shoot the shit with you. Gil nodded, “Yeah I get it man, sure I mean just for a bit okay.” Matt smiled with excitement. After hours of chatting, eating two pizzas and laughing at jokes and dumb stories, it was getting late. Gil got up, “I should go.” Matt got up too, he didn’t want Gil to leave. “Hey stay over Jensen is not home and you can sleep in the guest room. You shouldn’t be driving so late anyway. Gil smiled, Matt if I didn’t know any better I would think you liked me.” Matt laughed, Maybe I do and I know it’s wrong to want you when I have Jensen but we have grown apart and I don’t know what to do. I am so confused.” Gil held onto him letting him cry softly.
“It’s okay maybe Jensen will understand, maybe things will work out.” Matt knew that was not how it would and could be. He and Jensen had tried to break up and it was horrible. Well not for him but Jensen and he hated seeing Jensen like that so they got back together but it was the same as it had always been. When Matt finally calmed down Gil walked him to the nearest bedroom and lay down with him, “It will be okay Matt, it has to be. Gil kissed him gently, their eyes locking and his hands roaming down his body. He wanted Matt to not be sad, he didn’t ever want to see this anguish in him like this again. “Do you want me to talk to Jensen?” Gil asked. “What would you say really? Jensen is going to be hurt. So everything would be a mess.” Gil agreed and looked into his eyes and held his hands in his as he sang “As Time Goes By” to a sad and distraught Matt went to sleep.
The next day Matt got up and noticed Jensen was still not home. It was nothing new but he hoped he wouldn’t have to go to set to break up with his boyfriend but it was looking that way. Gil was getting up to a noticeably worried Matt and knew he had to take Matt to the set. He was too sad and messed up to drive so he said he would take him. Matt thought this was it things would be better this way for him for Jensen, Matt thought to himself. Breaking up with Jensen was what it had come to. They weren’t in love any more. It had been a while since they even said it to each other when. Matt got to the set he was having a panic attack in Gil’s truck. Gil enveloped him in a tight and warm hug letting him know it was okay to be sad and scared, but that he would be here for him. And that they could make it through whatever was to come. So he got out of the truck and marched onto the set, and ran into Jensen. He took him aside and told him that he couldn’t do it anymore; that things had changed and Jensen knew it was coming. He had a feeling Jensen wasn’t mad and he thought the same where time had run its course. Now they could pursue something new, something real and Matt was starting to think that those things could be with Gil. He hoped Gil wanted that too and they could embark on this new journey and start a new beginning together.