Just thoughts
I keep going back and forth between being extremely terrified/paranoid, really angry, and really confident/strong, the terrified and confident are in the same category, the angry is their opposite. Whoever says its easy (or feels good) to show love to people who do bad to you is an idiot.
I feel like two people soemtimes because I feel two opposite emotions at the same time, or go back and forth within seconds. or i can see two completely points of view at the same time, and feel strongly about both, and i dont really know how thats possible, but it drives me crazy most of the time/keeps me in balance once in a while. And no i dont have any psychological problems, before you think/say it.
Its weird how we can fool ourselves so much and become mostly blind to things that we already know about ourselves (that last sentence is all about me, im just a little too prideful to put 'me's in instead of 'we's). I always hated small talk because i just wanted to get into deep relationships and talk about things that 'really matter' instead of asking questions that i dont really care about. I just wanted 'real, deep relationships' . Translation: entertain me, give me stability, or go find someone else.
I have not been a good listener all these years, like i have prided myself being.
Im trying to find a middle ground between standing up for myself, and turning the other cheek. are they really opposites? Mostly with friends, I could care less about standing up for myself with people i dont know, they dont mean anything to me. Its so easy to snap back, its hard to hold back. am i alwasy supposed to hold back? i dont think so. i dont know, it all confuses me. I love snapping back, but i know that its not a good idea, but i know that that doesnt mean then that the opposite (keeping silent) is true.
I need patience!!!!! I LOOOOOVVEEEE to fight with words, i know that i am extremely good at it.
I feel like two people soemtimes because I feel two opposite emotions at the same time, or go back and forth within seconds. or i can see two completely points of view at the same time, and feel strongly about both, and i dont really know how thats possible, but it drives me crazy most of the time/keeps me in balance once in a while. And no i dont have any psychological problems, before you think/say it.
Its weird how we can fool ourselves so much and become mostly blind to things that we already know about ourselves (that last sentence is all about me, im just a little too prideful to put 'me's in instead of 'we's). I always hated small talk because i just wanted to get into deep relationships and talk about things that 'really matter' instead of asking questions that i dont really care about. I just wanted 'real, deep relationships' . Translation: entertain me, give me stability, or go find someone else.
I have not been a good listener all these years, like i have prided myself being.
Im trying to find a middle ground between standing up for myself, and turning the other cheek. are they really opposites? Mostly with friends, I could care less about standing up for myself with people i dont know, they dont mean anything to me. Its so easy to snap back, its hard to hold back. am i alwasy supposed to hold back? i dont think so. i dont know, it all confuses me. I love snapping back, but i know that its not a good idea, but i know that that doesnt mean then that the opposite (keeping silent) is true.
I need patience!!!!! I LOOOOOVVEEEE to fight with words, i know that i am extremely good at it.