(no subject)
I don't understand life, or boys, or anything.
sometimes it seems like more pain than its worth.
Sometimes its easy to remember that God is in control. and other times i will tell myself that, and find that 2 minutes later, i am reminding myself again, because i already forgot.
I want a stronger faith, and I want to trust in God more, a lot more, but then i see the selfish motives in even that, and everything i do, and it feels hopeless. But i know that's part of it all and that grace covers everything. but if you feel like praying for me, i wouldnt mind. I don't like asking for prayer for myself, but maybe i should sometimes.
You can talk to as many people as you want, to try to fix your problems, but sometimes i think we do that to avoid bringing it before God. I know God works through people too, but sometimes its a lot harder to talk to God than it is to others, or maybe a lot of the time, at least for me. Its hard for me to talk to God. I hate that, and I hate to admit it, but its true.
I see how many things i am attached to that i need to give up, and sometimes i just wish something would come through and take them all away, but that would be a lot easier than me giving them up myself.
Do you ever really live in someone's shadow, or do you put yourself there? I don't want to say I put myself there, but I probably do. It's a hard realization to come to after so many years. You cant feel sorry for yourself anymore, even if you don't want to admit that that's what you do, because you are the one who put yourself there.
sometimes it seems like more pain than its worth.
Sometimes its easy to remember that God is in control. and other times i will tell myself that, and find that 2 minutes later, i am reminding myself again, because i already forgot.
I want a stronger faith, and I want to trust in God more, a lot more, but then i see the selfish motives in even that, and everything i do, and it feels hopeless. But i know that's part of it all and that grace covers everything. but if you feel like praying for me, i wouldnt mind. I don't like asking for prayer for myself, but maybe i should sometimes.
You can talk to as many people as you want, to try to fix your problems, but sometimes i think we do that to avoid bringing it before God. I know God works through people too, but sometimes its a lot harder to talk to God than it is to others, or maybe a lot of the time, at least for me. Its hard for me to talk to God. I hate that, and I hate to admit it, but its true.
I see how many things i am attached to that i need to give up, and sometimes i just wish something would come through and take them all away, but that would be a lot easier than me giving them up myself.
Do you ever really live in someone's shadow, or do you put yourself there? I don't want to say I put myself there, but I probably do. It's a hard realization to come to after so many years. You cant feel sorry for yourself anymore, even if you don't want to admit that that's what you do, because you are the one who put yourself there.