goodbye's are hard...
one of my really good friends here is leaving tomorrow morning to go home to texas for a year. his name is--well nickname is--oz and he's also a farmhouse guy. (he's the one who shares my facebook picture if anyone cares). but anyway, he has to go back home because he can't pay for school this year and it makes me really sad. there was a going away party for him tonight, but i didn't stay long because my ex, jeff, was there and i hate him and refuse to be around him no matter the situation. it really was unfortunate because he didn't even know oz but went to this party b/c he saw it as an excuse to drink. so anyway oz walked with me up to his room so we could say our goodbye's away from all the other people and i started crying and it was really sad. even as i write this i'm getting teary-eyed thinking about it. this guy was basically in love with me all last sem but i never was interested in him that way, so instead we just got a really good friendship out of it. but now he's leaving. and after a year i'll be done with classes on campus (i'll still have a year of student teaching to do) but it makes me wonder if i'll ever see him again.
i guess that's something i'm going to have to adjust to when the time comes is separating myself from all my friends here when i graduate...that's gonna be sooooo hard if saying goodbye to this one friend made me lose it pretty badly.
anyway, so after i left the party, i went over to danny's apartment cuz i was sad and wanted someone to talk to, but he wasn't home. by this point it was about 10pm, so i decided to go work out instead to get rid of some of my emotions. i've actually been going a lot to the gym, i'm quite proud of myself. today i did the bike for 45 mins on a setting called "around the world" which has horrific "hills" to simulate elevations or something from the different continents. it was a good workout.
tomorrow, i've finally convinced danny to come and play tennis with me so after i get done with classes at freaking 6:30pm, we're going to go do that and that makes me happy. randomly though, this weekend marks the day a year ago when danny and i first met. and through everything, at this point, i'd consider us semi-seeing each other still, but it's hard to classify. either way though, i'm really wanting to do something special with him this weekend, but i'm still trying to think of something good to do.
anyway, so i started work today back at the youth center for the after-school program. my new boss is pretty much anal about how things are run and it makes me a little frustrated at times b/c that's what i loved about the job in the first place is that our old boss gave us so much freedom to tinker with the programs the way we saw best. but i'm applying for a supervisor position for the youth center, which would mean i'd make $8/hour as opposed to $6.50...that would be niiiice. my tutoring job also gave everyone raises so i officially make $8/hour for that as well. although, i'm only going to be working with one of the girls i was with last sem because my course load is INTENSE and i'm already freaking out about how everything's gonna get done.
so far my classes are going ok-ish. there's a shit-ton of reading for each and they all give surprise quizzes over the material, so i pretty much have to read like 7 chapters from various books a week...it's awful.
gah, i'm starting to feel the pain in my leg muscles from tonight. i really pushed it, it's great. i've been working alot on trying to get my flexibility back too, and that's been showing some pretty good success.
but anyway, it's late and i have to get up early to read 2 chapters for one of my classes tomorrow cuz i put it off doing laundry, and saying bye to oz, and working out, going to work at the center, and going to classes, etc....i've had a busy day so i'm sure most of this seems like rambling, which it is, but i just felt an urge to write about my friend leaving.