Psych Fic: Thirty Seconds or Less
Posted to psychfiction
Title: Thirty Seconds or Less
Pairing/Characters: Shawn, Gus, Juliet, Carlton, Karen, Buzz
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Pilot, Spellingg Bee
Summary: Shawn claims he can solve a case in thirty seconds or less
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ
"Get out of here!" Juliet looked astonished and put her hands on her hips.
"Well, if you insist." Shawn pretended to turn and leave for a second, then turned back grinning at his own humor. "Just kidding, but yes if you let me see the file I can solve the Halstead case in thirty seconds or less."
Gus tugged on his sleeve and pulled him aside, his voice low enough that only Shawn could hear him. "Dude, are you sure about this?" Thirty seconds?"
"Relax," Shawn whispered back. "I solved the case already back at the office. The thirty seconds is just for dramatic effect, trust me."
Gus gave him a well worn look of disbelief. "So if you've already solved the case why do you need to see the file?"
Shawn vacillated for a few seconds. "Okay, so I kind of need to confirm something before I'm sure, but hey, thirty seconds is plenty of time to find what I need in the file."
"For your sake, I certainly hope so," Gus grumbled. "I'm missing a lunch meeting for this."
"Everything okay?" Juliet asked.
Shawn broke away from Gus and stepped back towards Juliet's desk. Once he saw that Gus hadn't joined him, he went back and dragged him reluctantly with him. "Everything's fine. My partner here is just worried about me overtaxing myself. Isn't that sweet of him to look after me like that?"
Gus tried to interject, but Juliet spoke first. "Yes, I think he's a good friend for looking out for you."
Gus opened and closed his mouth a few times, frustrated at what to say.
Shawn just looked at Gus then turned to Juliet. "Isn't he just adorable when he's all worried? I tell you last time I had a strong vision at the office I thought he was going to bring me a fainting couch and a fluffy pillow, he was so concerned."
"That is very sweet," Juliet said.
"I-I never... W-What he said..." Gus sputtered.
Shawn patted Gus on the arm. "There, there. It's okay. We won't let anyone else other than Juliet know how well you take care of me." Shawn turned back to Juliet, ignoring Gus glaring at him. "The file?"
"Sure. Let me just pull it out."
Juliet reached into her desk drawer and pulled out a folder almost two inches thick, stuffed with documents.
"Oh, boy," Shawn said under his breath. He looked at the huge file and swallowed hard. Juliet put the folder on the edge of her desk and before he took it, he scanned the outer edges of the file quickly. He spotted several prospects - legal sized forms folded poorly to fit into the letter sized file, thick enough to be in triplicate and new enough to be from the last year or so. He knew from his father that the most recent documents in a case folder were always near the front so he quickly opened the file to the top most triplicate form and pulled it out. He made his hand shake as he held the document, which effected what he needed: the bottom of the page unfolded, revealing the signature on the last line. Another quick glance confirmed what he had already suspected, so he made a show of shaking the page in his hand then dropping it back on Juliet's desk.
"That's it. That's the document my vision made me seek out. If you'll examine it, you'll find that Mr. Halstead's signature is not his normal signature. He was coerced into changing the beneficiary on his insurance policy before he died. His nephew found out his secret - that he was really broke - and threatened to tell his wife, who would of course leave him because everybody knows she'd only marry an old guy like that for his money." Shawn scoffed dismissively before Gus gave him a slight warning shove from behind. Shawn coughed apologetically. "Not to speak poorly of the dead, but with Mr. Halstead and his young pretty wife out of the way, there was no one left to contest the insurance payout. Halstead's son and he had had a big falling out years ago, so Junior wouldn't be surprised if his father didn't leave him anything. It's the nephew."
Juliet looked doubtful. "The nephew has an alibi."
"Alibi-shmalibi." Shawn waved a hand dismissively. "He was at a dark bar with his girlfriend, one he's only been to a couple of times? He set up that alibi in advance. He went with his girlfriend a few times and made sure the bartender saw him before they went to the same booth each time. The night of the murders he didn't go up to the bartender, but sat with the girlfriend in the same booth, right? That wasn't him. That was his best friend - who is the same height and coloring - pretending to be him as the girlfriend played along." Shawn closed the file folder and handed it back to Juliet. "Check out the best friend. I'm sure he has no alibi and I'm sure he'll crack if you offer him a deal. I bet that he was only promised a tiny percentage of the insurance payout, so he's not going to have a strong motivation to go to jail for that little money."
"You bet?" Juliet said.
"I mean, uh, that's what I get - from the vision in my head."
Juliet raised an eyebrow at him.
Shawn avoided her gaze and turned to Gus. "That was under thirty seconds, right? Did you time me?"
Gus perked up. "No, I did not, however I think we can safely say that came in well under thirty seconds."
They both looked expectantly at Juliet.
"It was less than thirty seconds. I timed it."
"Yes!" Shawn pumped his fist in victory as Gus gloated beside him. Shawn nudged him to get his attention. "Hey... When we get out of here, Slurpees are totally on me."
Carlton walked up and sneered at Gus and Shawn. "What are they doing here?" He turned his gaze on Juliet accusingly, but she didn't flinch.
"They just solved the Halstead case. In under thirty seconds, I might add."
"As promised," Shawn added. "The lovely Juliet timed me and everything."
As Carlton turned to give Shawn a piece of his mind, Shawn's eyes scanned him and focused for a split second on the bottom of his slacks where the crease was slightly off, as if they'd been poorly pressed, which was extremely unusual for the uptight detective's attire.
Shawn stopped Carlton with a hand on his chest. "Carly! Your blood pressure!" His hand started bouncing frenetically over his tie and Carlton brushed it away, annoyed.
"What about my blood pressure? It's fine until you two show up!"
"No, it's not!" Shawn put his hand to his temple and closed his eyes. "I see you yelling at your dry cleaner, really yelling. You're mad at them, you think they've done an awful job and it's spiking your blood pressure." Shawn came out of his supposed trance and took Carlton by the arm as if he was giving some caring advice. "Carly, I don't want to see you hurt. Please... Take it easy. Change dry cleaners at least. The one over on Bella Avenue feels right for you."
Carlton pulled his arm away brusquely.
"Hey, I use the dry cleaners on Bella Avenue already," Juliet interjected. "They're really good and they're one of those green dry cleaners that don't use all those chemicals..." Her voice trailed off as Carlton glared at her then stormed off.
"If he's not careful I'm going to get a vision about his cholesterol next," Shawn quipped.
"Mr. Spencer!"
"Chief!" Shawn turned to greet the Police Chief who had her hands on her back, looking uncomfortable with her very pregnant belly out in front of her. "Almost time, is it?" Shawn approached, but backed off when she shot him a glare.
"Touch my stomach and you draw back a bloody stump," she warned.
"I'd never dream of such a thing. Would you, Gus?" Shawn withdrew to stand next to his partner.
"Never. My mother taught me to just be quiet and do whatever a pregnant woman asks me to do."
"Your mother's a smart woman, Mr. Guster. And since she did tell you that, will you pull me over a chair?"
"Gladly." Gus rushed to pull over the biggest guest chair he could find in the squad room.
"Good man," the chief said, lowering herself into the chair. "Now," she looked up at Juliet. "What's going on with the Halstead case? I overheard Detective Lassiter going on about it as he walked out - something about the case being solved - but he was in too much of a state for me to catch up with him and ask him."
"I'll take this one," Shawn said, stepping in front of the chief. "I solved the case in less than thirty seconds."
"Just like he told Detective O'Hara he would," Gus added, nodding.
"Less than thirty seconds?" The chief turned to Juliet who nodded as well.
"Yes, Ma'am. I timed him and everything. Of course, we still have to follow up and see if his vision," she glanced at Shawn who did his best to look innocent, "is correct, but if it is we'll arrest the nephew as the murderer and his best friend and girlfriend as accomplices."
"Well, that sounds impressive, Mr. Spencer."
"All in a day's work, chief. Or should I say, half a minute's work." Shawn primped himself smugly. "Say, there wouldn't happen to be any sort of reward for the Halstead case, would there? I mean, I'm only doing this for the public service of course..."
The chief cut him off with her hand as she struggled to rise. "If Detective O'Hara and Detective Lassiter make the arrests, then I'll arrange for a check for you."
Gus grinned widely and Shawn hedged. "Does it have to be both of them? I mean Detective O'Hara doesn't need..." Shawn backed down when he saw the chief glare. "Of course Detective Lassiter as well. After all he is the senior officer and him having nothing to do with solving this case has no bearing on him being there to make the arrests."
The chief rolled her eyes as she headed out. "I've heard enough. Keep me posted, Detective."
"Yes, Ma'am."
She paused one last time as she left. "Thirty seconds, huh?"
"It's a gift," Shawn explained, spreading his hands before him. "What can I say?"
"Say you'll be back next time you have thirty seconds to solve another case."
Shawn grinned. "Absolutely."
Once she left, Shawn offered a little bow of farewell to Juliet. "I'm sure we'll see you again soon, but for now I know you have work to do."
"Thanks," she said. "And I do. I have an alibi to investigate."
Gus nodded his goodbye as they headed out of the station.
"Do you have time for Thai food before you have to be back at the office?" Shawn asked. "I think we need to celebrate with more than just a frosty beverage."
"If you're buying, I'll make time," Gus replied. "Just order it to go."
They headed down the front steps and saw Carlton speaking to McNab and a few of the other uniformed officers.
"Carly!" Shawn bounded up to Carlton who cringed. "Thanks for telling the chief how I solved the Halstead case for you! She'd never have believed I solved it in less than a minute if she hadn't heard it from you first!"
"Less than a minute?" McNab asked, awed.
"Less than thirty seconds actually," Shawn said as if it was nothing. "But who's counting?"
"Spencer..."
"I know, I know, but no need to thank me, Carly." Shawn patted his shoulder and started walking away. "I know deep down in your heart you appreciate me helping you make this a safer world for kids and puppies and little old ladies everywhere..." Shawn turned just in time to hide his chuckle at Carlton's furious expression. "Come on, Gus. The Mee Krob is calling me... I'm starving..."
!!!
Title: Thirty Seconds or Less
Pairing/Characters: Shawn, Gus, Juliet, Carlton, Karen, Buzz
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Pilot, Spellingg Bee
Summary: Shawn claims he can solve a case in thirty seconds or less
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ
"Get out of here!" Juliet looked astonished and put her hands on her hips.
"Well, if you insist." Shawn pretended to turn and leave for a second, then turned back grinning at his own humor. "Just kidding, but yes if you let me see the file I can solve the Halstead case in thirty seconds or less."
Gus tugged on his sleeve and pulled him aside, his voice low enough that only Shawn could hear him. "Dude, are you sure about this?" Thirty seconds?"
"Relax," Shawn whispered back. "I solved the case already back at the office. The thirty seconds is just for dramatic effect, trust me."
Gus gave him a well worn look of disbelief. "So if you've already solved the case why do you need to see the file?"
Shawn vacillated for a few seconds. "Okay, so I kind of need to confirm something before I'm sure, but hey, thirty seconds is plenty of time to find what I need in the file."
"For your sake, I certainly hope so," Gus grumbled. "I'm missing a lunch meeting for this."
"Everything okay?" Juliet asked.
Shawn broke away from Gus and stepped back towards Juliet's desk. Once he saw that Gus hadn't joined him, he went back and dragged him reluctantly with him. "Everything's fine. My partner here is just worried about me overtaxing myself. Isn't that sweet of him to look after me like that?"
Gus tried to interject, but Juliet spoke first. "Yes, I think he's a good friend for looking out for you."
Gus opened and closed his mouth a few times, frustrated at what to say.
Shawn just looked at Gus then turned to Juliet. "Isn't he just adorable when he's all worried? I tell you last time I had a strong vision at the office I thought he was going to bring me a fainting couch and a fluffy pillow, he was so concerned."
"That is very sweet," Juliet said.
"I-I never... W-What he said..." Gus sputtered.
Shawn patted Gus on the arm. "There, there. It's okay. We won't let anyone else other than Juliet know how well you take care of me." Shawn turned back to Juliet, ignoring Gus glaring at him. "The file?"
"Sure. Let me just pull it out."
Juliet reached into her desk drawer and pulled out a folder almost two inches thick, stuffed with documents.
"Oh, boy," Shawn said under his breath. He looked at the huge file and swallowed hard. Juliet put the folder on the edge of her desk and before he took it, he scanned the outer edges of the file quickly. He spotted several prospects - legal sized forms folded poorly to fit into the letter sized file, thick enough to be in triplicate and new enough to be from the last year or so. He knew from his father that the most recent documents in a case folder were always near the front so he quickly opened the file to the top most triplicate form and pulled it out. He made his hand shake as he held the document, which effected what he needed: the bottom of the page unfolded, revealing the signature on the last line. Another quick glance confirmed what he had already suspected, so he made a show of shaking the page in his hand then dropping it back on Juliet's desk.
"That's it. That's the document my vision made me seek out. If you'll examine it, you'll find that Mr. Halstead's signature is not his normal signature. He was coerced into changing the beneficiary on his insurance policy before he died. His nephew found out his secret - that he was really broke - and threatened to tell his wife, who would of course leave him because everybody knows she'd only marry an old guy like that for his money." Shawn scoffed dismissively before Gus gave him a slight warning shove from behind. Shawn coughed apologetically. "Not to speak poorly of the dead, but with Mr. Halstead and his young pretty wife out of the way, there was no one left to contest the insurance payout. Halstead's son and he had had a big falling out years ago, so Junior wouldn't be surprised if his father didn't leave him anything. It's the nephew."
Juliet looked doubtful. "The nephew has an alibi."
"Alibi-shmalibi." Shawn waved a hand dismissively. "He was at a dark bar with his girlfriend, one he's only been to a couple of times? He set up that alibi in advance. He went with his girlfriend a few times and made sure the bartender saw him before they went to the same booth each time. The night of the murders he didn't go up to the bartender, but sat with the girlfriend in the same booth, right? That wasn't him. That was his best friend - who is the same height and coloring - pretending to be him as the girlfriend played along." Shawn closed the file folder and handed it back to Juliet. "Check out the best friend. I'm sure he has no alibi and I'm sure he'll crack if you offer him a deal. I bet that he was only promised a tiny percentage of the insurance payout, so he's not going to have a strong motivation to go to jail for that little money."
"You bet?" Juliet said.
"I mean, uh, that's what I get - from the vision in my head."
Juliet raised an eyebrow at him.
Shawn avoided her gaze and turned to Gus. "That was under thirty seconds, right? Did you time me?"
Gus perked up. "No, I did not, however I think we can safely say that came in well under thirty seconds."
They both looked expectantly at Juliet.
"It was less than thirty seconds. I timed it."
"Yes!" Shawn pumped his fist in victory as Gus gloated beside him. Shawn nudged him to get his attention. "Hey... When we get out of here, Slurpees are totally on me."
Carlton walked up and sneered at Gus and Shawn. "What are they doing here?" He turned his gaze on Juliet accusingly, but she didn't flinch.
"They just solved the Halstead case. In under thirty seconds, I might add."
"As promised," Shawn added. "The lovely Juliet timed me and everything."
As Carlton turned to give Shawn a piece of his mind, Shawn's eyes scanned him and focused for a split second on the bottom of his slacks where the crease was slightly off, as if they'd been poorly pressed, which was extremely unusual for the uptight detective's attire.
Shawn stopped Carlton with a hand on his chest. "Carly! Your blood pressure!" His hand started bouncing frenetically over his tie and Carlton brushed it away, annoyed.
"What about my blood pressure? It's fine until you two show up!"
"No, it's not!" Shawn put his hand to his temple and closed his eyes. "I see you yelling at your dry cleaner, really yelling. You're mad at them, you think they've done an awful job and it's spiking your blood pressure." Shawn came out of his supposed trance and took Carlton by the arm as if he was giving some caring advice. "Carly, I don't want to see you hurt. Please... Take it easy. Change dry cleaners at least. The one over on Bella Avenue feels right for you."
Carlton pulled his arm away brusquely.
"Hey, I use the dry cleaners on Bella Avenue already," Juliet interjected. "They're really good and they're one of those green dry cleaners that don't use all those chemicals..." Her voice trailed off as Carlton glared at her then stormed off.
"If he's not careful I'm going to get a vision about his cholesterol next," Shawn quipped.
"Mr. Spencer!"
"Chief!" Shawn turned to greet the Police Chief who had her hands on her back, looking uncomfortable with her very pregnant belly out in front of her. "Almost time, is it?" Shawn approached, but backed off when she shot him a glare.
"Touch my stomach and you draw back a bloody stump," she warned.
"I'd never dream of such a thing. Would you, Gus?" Shawn withdrew to stand next to his partner.
"Never. My mother taught me to just be quiet and do whatever a pregnant woman asks me to do."
"Your mother's a smart woman, Mr. Guster. And since she did tell you that, will you pull me over a chair?"
"Gladly." Gus rushed to pull over the biggest guest chair he could find in the squad room.
"Good man," the chief said, lowering herself into the chair. "Now," she looked up at Juliet. "What's going on with the Halstead case? I overheard Detective Lassiter going on about it as he walked out - something about the case being solved - but he was in too much of a state for me to catch up with him and ask him."
"I'll take this one," Shawn said, stepping in front of the chief. "I solved the case in less than thirty seconds."
"Just like he told Detective O'Hara he would," Gus added, nodding.
"Less than thirty seconds?" The chief turned to Juliet who nodded as well.
"Yes, Ma'am. I timed him and everything. Of course, we still have to follow up and see if his vision," she glanced at Shawn who did his best to look innocent, "is correct, but if it is we'll arrest the nephew as the murderer and his best friend and girlfriend as accomplices."
"Well, that sounds impressive, Mr. Spencer."
"All in a day's work, chief. Or should I say, half a minute's work." Shawn primped himself smugly. "Say, there wouldn't happen to be any sort of reward for the Halstead case, would there? I mean, I'm only doing this for the public service of course..."
The chief cut him off with her hand as she struggled to rise. "If Detective O'Hara and Detective Lassiter make the arrests, then I'll arrange for a check for you."
Gus grinned widely and Shawn hedged. "Does it have to be both of them? I mean Detective O'Hara doesn't need..." Shawn backed down when he saw the chief glare. "Of course Detective Lassiter as well. After all he is the senior officer and him having nothing to do with solving this case has no bearing on him being there to make the arrests."
The chief rolled her eyes as she headed out. "I've heard enough. Keep me posted, Detective."
"Yes, Ma'am."
She paused one last time as she left. "Thirty seconds, huh?"
"It's a gift," Shawn explained, spreading his hands before him. "What can I say?"
"Say you'll be back next time you have thirty seconds to solve another case."
Shawn grinned. "Absolutely."
Once she left, Shawn offered a little bow of farewell to Juliet. "I'm sure we'll see you again soon, but for now I know you have work to do."
"Thanks," she said. "And I do. I have an alibi to investigate."
Gus nodded his goodbye as they headed out of the station.
"Do you have time for Thai food before you have to be back at the office?" Shawn asked. "I think we need to celebrate with more than just a frosty beverage."
"If you're buying, I'll make time," Gus replied. "Just order it to go."
They headed down the front steps and saw Carlton speaking to McNab and a few of the other uniformed officers.
"Carly!" Shawn bounded up to Carlton who cringed. "Thanks for telling the chief how I solved the Halstead case for you! She'd never have believed I solved it in less than a minute if she hadn't heard it from you first!"
"Less than a minute?" McNab asked, awed.
"Less than thirty seconds actually," Shawn said as if it was nothing. "But who's counting?"
"Spencer..."
"I know, I know, but no need to thank me, Carly." Shawn patted his shoulder and started walking away. "I know deep down in your heart you appreciate me helping you make this a safer world for kids and puppies and little old ladies everywhere..." Shawn turned just in time to hide his chuckle at Carlton's furious expression. "Come on, Gus. The Mee Krob is calling me... I'm starving..."
!!!