Kagayaki Days - Part 5
Author: 
emmachase
Requested by: No One
Title: Kagayaki Days - Part 5
Rating: PG
Genre: ???
Pairing: OkaJimaTaro
Summary: Ryutaro joins Kagayaki hospital as one of its new cardiology interns, when he discovers theres more to Dr. Okamoto than it seems...
Notes: I'm so nervous about this one... it's been such a long time since i've written anything so this one is a test of my skills!
I didn't quite expect rounds to go as smoothly as it did that morning, but with Chinen at my side, I may as well have had eight different people with me. He was eager to learn and perform the injections and blood tests…
“Done!” He would say brightly after we finish each patient check-up.
I would nod and we’d move on…
“We’ve been going at a breakneck pace all day… but we’re finished almost a whole hour early…” I said, plopping into my desk chair.
“Would you like some coffee?”
“Yuri, stop, you’re my intern, not my waiter….. I can get my own coffee, just rest…” I chuckled, while I had a colorful relationship with my own brother…. This was what I imagined one of those corny after-school special sibling relationships was like.
“Oh Ryutaro…. you ready for the surgery? Shouldn't you be getting ready now?” Keito walked in, dropping his coat onto the rack.
“A-Ah!” I jumped up, it was almost time….
“W-Wait Ryutaro! W-What do I do?” Chinen asked, catching me just before I left.
“Finish the charts and I’ll countersign them later, and if you finish early you can come observe.”
Going through the scrubbing-in procedure used to be the time where my nerves would get the best of me, but now…. Its strange to think about how easy it comes now… to hold someone’s heart in your hands… theres nothing like it…
“Ryutaro… are you ready?”
“K-Keito! Y-Yeah…”
I watched the scalpel cut…. I watched the bone saw, the spreader, the artificial tubes….. all of it. And my hands moved on their own, I was so used to it now….
“Ryutaro… would you like to do the replacement?” Keito asked,
“Wh-What?”
“You’ve been reading up on it, you’ve been studying, and so… “ he handed me the tools in his hands.
“Don’t be nervous… “ he smiled, he held my hand steady and I could only find myself staring at it. Our hands were covered in blood, but…..
“Ryutaro… let’s begin….”
I made the first cut…. And after that…. I don't remember. It was as if my body began moving by instinct. I took exactly what I read, and poured it into my hands, the artificial tubules weaved themselves into the flesh and I scored them and stitched the aorta closed. With another hand I drew together the ends of the string and tied knots far beyond anything I could think of. If was as if.. there was someone guiding me….
“Excellent work….let’s close up now.”
“That was…. incredible…. How fast you did it… the finesse….” Chinen said eagerly as I exited the surgery bay.
“Ryutaro…. can I talk to you?” I turned to see Keito standing there
“Sure….u-uh Yuri, can you go get the charts ready for the nightly rounds?”
Keito took me to the arbor just outside the hospital, the patients that usually visited there were safely in their rooms now, the sun was setting now. Surgeons feel their surgeries last for days, or for seconds, but the sun never lies…
“Ryutaro… are you afraid…. Of something?”
“W-What do you mean?”
“Are you afraid…. Of anything?”
“Heights.”
Keito laughed and he pulled me over to a stone bench
“That’s good… but are you afraid of anything else? Something that you don't want to become?”
“What?”
“I could sense it, the things you were doing in that procedure, that was the real you... your true potential as a surgeon… so… why? Why did you wait all this time to have it come out?”
“I… I don't know”
“Ryutaro… I know you have Yuto’s journals….. and maybe when you finish you can tell me whats in them. But I also know that Yuto wrote more than just his thoughts in those pages. I know that what he wrote makes sense to you, things far beyond any normal doctor’s comprehension. I want you to use it, I want you to become more than just another surgeon. Don’t be afraid of your power, use it to save the lives of those in front of you.”
“B-But… you…”
“You think that…. if you were to remind me to Yuto, you’d hurt me?” It was almost as if Keito was reading my mind now... but I nodded anyway.
“I think about him everyday… but I don't feel sad that he’s not here anymore… I feel happy that he’s with me in spirit… I feel happy that there’s someone like him in my life who can do all the things he can to save lives. Besides, don't you think I’d feel worse if I lost a patient because we weren’t doing all we could to save him?”
As if being scolded I nodded my head again.
“Don’t be afraid Ryutaro…. you have it in you to do great things…. “
Keito smiled as he got up, a small wisp of wind snapped around him, making the soft leaves fall around him and he gave me a final nod before turning and returning to the hospital.
My hands tingled slightly and I stared at them now… the almost unreal feeling of them during that procedure… what was it?
I looked at the trees that swayed as the breeze flew through them, and I wondered…
“Yuto….?”
---
I couldn't be left alone with my thoughts for very long. That night saw the worse side of a factory fire. Workers were being rushed into the rooms with burns and lacerations from exploding or breaking machinery. I applied balms and lotions to the minor burns and left the more dire cases to the dermatology department. The general surgeons took care of the cases with the shrapnel and I finished my last patient and the ER began to empty now as those with minor injuries went home, and those more unfortunate were put into intensive care rooms in the other wing of the hospital.
The empty office never looked more soothing as I collapsed onto the small bed we kept the in the corner for just such blessed resting hours.
“Are you okay?” I sat up to see Chinen standing at the door, his scrubs stained with blood.
“I’m fine….. just a little tired… what about you? The last I saw, you had at least three stretchers assigned to you…. Not bad for an intern…”
“It was small things, minor foreign body removals….” He brought me a cup of tea and sat on the small bed opposite mine.
“You know, Yuri…. My first day was just like this… a disaster, and then sitting in this office… dead tired.”
“Oh really? When did you have your first surgery?”
“Not too long ago… I’m not that far along myself…”
The hours passed and somehow the two of us fell asleep in the small office corner. The last thing I remember was laughing so hard at a story about misplaced gauze and an oddly funny iodine stain. The next morning though I woke up to find people buzzing around the office, Keito sat at his desk signing charts and he nodded when he noticed I was awake.
“K-Keito. I’m sorry…. I fe-felll… asleep…” I cursed myself for letting my words slur a little.
“It’s okay Ryutaro, nothing happened and with you two sleeping so soundly after such a late-night shift I didn't think waking you up would be a good thing….”
“B-But I’m awake now, so… I can work….”
“You don't have to…. there aren’t any major surgeries scheduled for today, and you two have had quite the night from these reports I see… so… go home and rest…. Tomorrow will be another day.” Keito smiled.
“D-Dr. Okamoto!” I turned around to see a very disheveled Chinen standing stiffly at attention.
“Relax Chinen-Kun, it’s okay to sleep… Doctors are humans afterall….” Keito chuckled.
“I want to stay..” I said firmly.
“A-Ah I would like to work too” Chinen pipped.
A sigh came as Keito set down his reports and stared at the two of us, he raised an eyebrow and asked if we were both sure.
“Yes, I’m fine. A-And I want to be here.”
“Alright then…. Ryutaro… go on your rounds then…. And Chinen-Kun, if you would, I think Mr. Yamamoto in room 413 needs to have a his IV put in for his pre-ops.”
Checking in with my patients was a part of my routine and somehow I doubt I would have felt complete if I didn't check in with them every day…. My visits always lasted exactly ten minutes, which was just enough time for Ms. Kotani in room 528 to tell me about her latest dating prospect, enough time for Mr. Kazehaya in room 530 to tell me about his grandson that just scored a 100 on his last test, and it was even enough time for Mr. Kikuchi in room 548 to tell me about the latest plot he’d concocted for his next children’s book. I’d nod along and answer questions as I wrote their information down in their charts and laugh at the small things that they said.
Today though, I remembered at least half of my patients were discharged… and rounds took me almost half the regular time… with all this done early, I sat down at the table in the nurse’s station and found myself rather at a loss…. What was there to do…..now?
I saw Keito walk by the station now, he was smiling softly as he walked to the stairs and I saw him head upwards.
“Ne….Miki? Where’s Keito going?”
“He’s going to the roof…. Like he always does at this time….”
“The roof?”
“It’s a little thing he does every day….”
“What is it? Meditation? Yoga?”
“Nope….. not…. Exactly…”
I followed Keito up to the roof, and I found the giant space completely clear, the bright sunlight reflected off the small gravel pebbles that littered the floor. Keito stood there, his phone held to his ear.
“Oh.. Ryutaro… I didn't hear you…..” He smiled gently, shutting he phone and slipping it into his pocket.
“Was…. that someone important? Did I interrupt?” I asked feebishly
“Haha yes… it was someone important, but you weren’t interrupting… our conversation nowadays is usually just me listening.”
“Oh…. I see… well I uh… I finished my rounds already…”
“So early? You must be moving up there huh….” Even if it was a small compliment I cold feel my cheeks warm up a little.
We spent the next few minutes standing atop the roof, looking down at the world below. The soft cool currents wisped past us and I could feel myself falling into that daze, with the world so peaceful right at that exact moment… I loved it.
“Ryutaro. What do you think… of that couple right there?” Keito asked, pointing to a young couple sitting on the small bench to the left of the small arbor in front of the hospital.
“Young love..” I replied
“Then… what do you think about the couple over there?” He asked, pointing now to an elderly couple sitting opposite the younger.
“Marriage?”
“You see, even though you think they’re opposite ends of the spectrum, they couldn’t be more similar…. That young couple over there, Ms. Matsushima and Mr. Sato came in about two months ago, where he was diagnosed with a pancreatic cancer. When we told him the news, he adamantly refused to let us tell his girlfriend. He said that he wanted to spare her the pain, that he wanted her not to worry. He comes here now for treatments during the day when she’s at work and he’s supposed to be working from home. He’s shaved his head and put on a brave face every night, just like that, he pretends nothing’s happened. But somehow, I think Ms. Matsushima knows…. And she understands his kindness… so she lets it be. But they live their lives to the fullest…. Mr. and Mrs. Kuramoto over there, have the same situation, except now Mrs. Kuramoto has end-stage liver cancer, they came too late and the disease has progressed beyond what we can do for them. About three months ago, she decided to stop treatments because they just weren’t working, and all we could do at that point was hinge upon the hope that it would just work one day…. So one day while Mr. Kuramoto went down to get her son, she decided to tell the doctors to stop treatment, but requested that she be the one to tell her husband. She told him the medicine was working, and that she was cured… she left the truth in her will and told him that if anything were to happen he should open it first. And I believe that Mr. Kuramoto knows, as he sees her condition still weakening every few days… but he pretends to believe her….”
“But why? It c-could still work…” I said softly
“Ryutaro, Mrs. Kuramoto has lived a full 79 year life, and she understands time is short, and she knows that time is even shorter now, she also knows that she would rather spend the time at home with her husband and her grandchildren. Laying in bed hooked up to IVs and wanting to throw up every thirty minutes is no way to spend your final moments in this world. She wanted to go home and make cookies for her grandchildren, pass the family recipes to them and enjoy her own food with her husband of almost 60 years. To them, this is what happiness is…. Pretending… and even if it’s fake, the memories you keep from it are real…. And they could be the most beautiful memories of all….”
Keito spoke softly, as he turned back to face the rooftop. He looked different than usual, a small sense of sadness on his face mixed with the soft glow that came from the sun on his skin, it all gave him a sense of….. serenity.
“Keito… are you thinking about Yuto?” I asked boldly. And he turned to look at me with a smile.
“That’s the first time you’ve really asked about him so boldly….” He grinned
“S-So-“
“Don’t apologize… I told you didn't I? These memories are the most beautiful ones I have….”
“Then…?”
“Yes…. When Yuto first found out something was wrong with him, he didn't tell me. He didn't want to worry me, so he didn't tell me. He bravely went in and had his tests done in secret. I never knew a thing until the day he collapsed. But I remember how… angry I was with him on that day, that he didn't tell me sooner. I realized though that I wasn't really angry at him though, I realized that I was mad at myself, for not being there when he must have been scared to death.”
“He was brave… he was very brave….” I nodded.
“I poured myself into the books trying to find something to save him, something that would work… but it didn't work and it was never enough… my one regret was…. that I couldn't give him the happy final days that those two couples are sharing. I was so caught up in my own desperate world to see that he just needed me to be next to him…”
“W-What happened…the day he…”
“On the day Yuto died, I was still in the office, preparing for my next attempt to correct the surgery, I got the signal from the panel that a patient was flatlining, and I didn't look, but I knew… I just knew… it was him. I don't even know how I got to his room, but it wasn't fast enough… when I got there… all I could do was see the light fade from his eyes and grab his hand. I felt that weaken too…. The weight of so many lives have been on them for so many years, but I could feel it all slipping away. As he laid there gasping for breath, he told me one final thing…. that he missed me…”
“Keito… I’m.. so sorry….” I said, feeling rather bad for egging him on to talk about the subject.
“Well… theres…. Nothing we can do about it now so…. let’s get to work okay?” Keito changed the subject so quickly I could barely react.
Apparently his idea of killing time was for Chinen and I to sit in the cardiology office reading case studies. I saw pictures of a man born with his heart outside his chest, pictures of a child whos organs were perfectly functional….. except…. reversed, and even a picture of a man whos heart had been engorged to twice its regular size.
“U-Uwa… this one…” Chinen would exclaim on occasion, pointing to a particularly interesting case that he came across.
Unfortunately that was all that day held, at around eight at night I packed up my things and logged out of the hospital computers.
“Ne, Ryutaro? Would you….. like to go eat with me?” Chinen asked as he pulled on a slightly long coat and slipped on his pants.
“Sure, why not, where do you want to go?” I asked, throwing on my own and tossing my scrubs to the laundry basket.
“It’s a small place that a family friend owns, it’s just a little ways away.” He grinned and I nodded.
On the walk there, I got to know my intern a bit more, he told me that before he seriously considered a career in medicine, he had wanted to be a world class gymnast.
“Ohh~ That’s pretty cool then isn’t it? So you can do backflips and all that?”
“Yep!” He smiled, seeming pretty proud still.
“You’re lucky then, all the time spent studying made me so inflexible….”
“Did you used to do gymnastics too?”
“Nope, I used to dance though….”
And so it went for the short five minute walk to the small restaurant. It was definitely a small family-run shop, there weren’t many fancy frills or signs, but a small homely door upon which hung a sigh stating they were closed.
“I suppose next time we should check to see if they’re open or not….” I said, turning around
“They’re open.” I heard, as I heard the door being pulled open and a hand clasp around my wrist. With a slight pull I followed Yuri into the restaurant and was immediately greeted by a smiling young man who happily welcomed “Chi-Chan” and sat us at a table.
“It’s been such a long time since you’ve been here!” The young man grinned as he set about pulling utensils and napkins out and laying them on the table.
“I’ve been so busy, but don't worry Im still just as hungry…”
“Im sure… haha Well? I know what you want, but your friend….”
“I-I’ll just have… a small bowl of soup please.” I said quickly.
“Are you sure?” Chinen asked, his hand on the menu and ready to suggest something else.
“I don't want to eat too much before going to sleep…. “
“They seem to know you well here Yuri…”
“Yeah, when I was studying for school I’d spend hours here in this restaurant, at this table.
“Yo Chiiii-chaaan!” I almost jumped as an older lady came to the table with three plates of small appetizers and gave his companion a hug.
“Ryutaro, this is Ryoko-san, she owns this restaurant with her son.” I bowed and the lady returned the favor, she seemed almost humble and that was something quite rare these days…
While the food came quickly, I still spent most of the time talking more than drinking the soup. Somehow I got pulled into the conversation of “whether or not there should be a spicier noodle bowl on the menu”. It was such a change from my usual nights, spent worrying about the next day, practicing surgery techniques to know front and back. When we finally did finish the meals, I think I was almost sad to leave…. Truth be told, it was one of the most enjoyable times I’ve had since everything began. Just outside the restaurant, I said my goodbyes to the owners and bid Chinen goodnight and set off towards home, making sure to remember how to get to the small restaurant again.
Of course, with my luck, the next morning I got to the hospital a little bit late, and I could just imagine Keito scolding me for being so irresponsible. No matter how many times I pictured it though, it never came true. Walking into the office, usually ended with Keito greeting me, handing me the charts for the day, the countersigned charts I’d done the day before, and the books I needed study over the next week. All was as it had been for the last few months.
“Oh, Ryutaro? Don’t forget, you’re in charge of the trauma center tonight.”
“W-What?!” It had completely slipped my mind. I had signed up for a rotation a while ago, but I had completely forgotten about it…..
“Don't you remember? You picked a randome date…. And here it is…. So…. good luck tonight….” Keito grinned, grabbing his coat and heading out on his afternoon rounds. I don't think I had ever panicked as much as I did in those few minutes. It was certainly one thing to do surgery with Keito watching, it was quite another to performce surgery without him watching, much less to run an entire trauma center with him gone….
“Maybe….. you should just pray that there arent any big incidents that will require surgery….” Miki teased, throwing another few charts onto my lap.
“What are these?”
“Oh you didn't hear? One of your…… comrades…. Has dropped out of the program…”
“What?!”
“Kojima has decided that he cannot handle the program any longer so…..he has removed himself, and his patients are being divided between the two of you that remain.” She said nonchalantly, walking away.
“Ryutaro!” I snapped out of my daze to see Chinen standing beside me with a cup of coffee.
“Thanks..”
“You’ll need it, I hear you’re running the trauma center tonight….”
“Y-Yeah…”
“I’ve signed up to be on call tonight…. So I can keep you company…” He said lightly, taking a sip of his own cup.
Truth be told, it did bring me some comfort to know that he would be there, but the majority of my mind was still running through the past traumas that I’ve been in…. the many accidents that I’ve seen…. I hoped that there wouldn't be any major accidents, I hoped that nothing would happen and just somehow…. Tonight would be a quiet…. Uneventful night…
---
Naturally, the day just had to fly by, and before I knew it, Keito was packing to leave for the night and the nurses were beginning to hand in their charts. Only the night time attendings were staying behind…. And of course Chinen and myself.
Words could not describe the sheer fear that I felt when I took the seat at the desk that headed the trauma center. The pristine beds prepared with sterile intruments were all quiet as I stared at them, hoping that I wouldn't need to pick up a scalpel.
Chinen however was busy next to me, reading away at a thick book that I hadn’t bothered to look at. After some time though, I found myself beginning to relax, and every once in a while I would tense up again as I thought the phone had rung, but it always proved to be my imagination.
When Yuri had finished writing his reports I could feel him squirming around as we stared at the empty beds. I had finished all my charts early and done all my check-ups earlier in the hour, just so I could devote my attention to this…. nothing. I was grateful…. But so bored….
“Ryutaro…?”
“Hm?”
“Do you think anything will come in tonight?”
“I hope not….”
“Then can you… show me how to do these surgical sutures?”
I turned now to see he had a length of string and a rod that seemed to have held many sloppily done ties.
“I thought.....you knew how to do those…”
“No…. I know I how to do the two-handed ones… I’m trying to learn how to do one-handed ties.”
“Oh….”
Truth be told I had never done one either, but it seemed an interesting distraction….
“So… Ryutaro… do you think….. one day we could go over how to do some procedures?”
“You don't need to go over procedures…. I’ve seen you…. You’re good as you are…. Theres really not that much between us in terms of skill….”
“Still… I just… want to spend some time… with you… I mean… practicing with you….” He said, a little slower than usual.
“Then that’s fine, we’ll go into the skills lab and practice one day okay?” I said, as my hand flicked back and forth with the string in hand.
“AH! You did it!” Yuri exclaims suddenly, pointing to my hands. I hadn’t really been paying attention, but my hands seemed to have been moving by themselves. There neatly in a row were multiple ties, neatly fine with fine ends..
“Eh… I… guess I did…” But before I could actually celebrate my triumph, the first phone call of the night came in, and the two of us stared at the blinking red light…
“H-Hello…” Yuri’s voice quivered as he picked it up. He nodded and the occasional “Hmm..” came out, and he finally spoke as the phone hung up.
“Family of four, hit by drunk driver…. Driver DOA…. Three passengers wounded.” He said. A mix of feelings came over me, I was… somewhat grateful that it wasn't a big accident…. But somewhat sad that I had to think that way…
I threw on the green disposable surgical gowns, and two nurses prepared instrument trays for me and Yuri to use. All in a blur the trauma room sprang to life, with panels being moved and lights automatically flicking on. Soon, the flaring red and blue lights of the ambulance came to the door. A father with two children came in two ambulances, one child clearly in worse shape than the other.
“Tomio! Tomio!” The dad was still yelling as the paramedics tried to hold him to the stretcher.
“Sir! Please! Stay calm! Stay calm!” The nurses lent their hands as a paramedic approached.
“Male, 37, Asaka Yuudai, was in the passenger seat during the accident, no bodily injuries complained of neck pain, we’ve put him in a stabilizer, but we wont know until x-rays confirm.”
I nodded as I called for a portable x-ray machine to be brought forward.
As if it were a factory line the paramedic left the charts and went to sign the hospital forms, only to be replaced by another.
“Male, 15, Asaka Tomio, Severe chest fractures from impact, sitting behind driver and slammed into seat in front of him. He has complained of difficulty breathing and he is stable for now, but vitals are weakening slowly….”
“Bring him now.” I said, going into a trauma room. Gloves slipped themselves over my hands as a bloody mess followed in. The boy had clearly been coughing up blood. His abdomen was bruised beyond recognition as the imprint of a seat left its red welts on his skin. The x-ray they had run as soon as he got here found its way to my view and I nearly dropped the tools in my hand.
“Fractured Ribs possible aortic dissection, I need to open him up now….” I shouted as the nurses shouted their acknowledgement. A sterile tray of surgical tools came and the cover lifted. I watched as the betadine was draped all over the abdomen and the quick anesthesiologist signaled it was okay.
I cut into the poor boy to see the wreckage inside. A rather large piece of his rib had lodged itself near the aorta, and blood was pouring out.
“Tweezers, and quick gauze.” I called as hands appeared in my peripheral they threw themselves in and caught the bleeding as I removed the bone.
“He’s lucky he wasn't shifted around too much during transport, dissected aortas are near impossible to repair….” I said, as I formed a few stitches to close the wound, and packed it with a temporary bandage.
“We will need to re-operate when his vitals are stronger, if I do anything more to this aorta now…. It’ll kill him…” I said, as the nurses nodded their agreement. The boy was barely alive as it is….
“Doctor!” Another nurse shouted as I looked outside and I saw Yuri running to the other room.
“can someone please find out what happened to the other boy?” I asked as I put in stitches.
Fortunately the other boy just had a panic attack, and some calming words had more effect than another medicine could. The father had been given a clean bill of health, his pain had gone away, except for the pain that I was about to tell him….
“Mr. Asaka…. Your son… is seriously injured, right now, we have to wait until his vital signs get better before we can operate again to do the complete repair…” I started
“W-Wait… w-What happened to my Tomio?”
“A broken piece of bone, nicked the aorta, and since the blood flow is strong there…. The force of his heart almost… tore the hole open. We cant do anything until he gets stronger…”
“So… So… what? We j-just wait? How can that be?”
“We cant do anything….”
“NO! You have to do something now! If-If we wait, he could die too right?!” He was beginning to sound delirious.
“There is… that chance too…” I had to be honest to my patient
“W-What if he dies while you’re waiting?!” His voice began to grow louder with fear
“Sir… there’s nothing we can do…”
“NO! You’re wrong! There’s something! There’s always something! DO SOMETHING!” In the blink of an eye he was out of his bed and I felt a hand wrap around me as something pressed into my chest.
“You’re lying to me! Is-Is it because of my boss?! Because he canceled my insurance!? I can pay! I can pay anything! But you WILL save my son!” He was absolutely delirious now. As he shouted he dragged me into the main trauma clinic, the nurses gathered round to see me being held at knifepoint. Somewhere out the corner of my ear I could hear a nurse asking who on earth would have left him with a switchblade knife, and if it weren’t for the seemingly long piece of metal pressed against my chest I probably would have been concerned with that too…
“P-Please calm down!” Yuri said softly as he walked forward slowly, I could see his hands trembling, something so unlike him.
“SAVE HIM! Or-or… Or he’ll suffer with him!” As he spoke a rush of pain came as he dragged the blade across my skin, forming a cut just above my chest, I nearly fell backwards onto him from the pain. I could see the crimson red stain beginning to form on my coat and stumbled.
“S-Stop! D-Don't… don't hurt him… Mr. Asaka… I need you to calm down.. please…!”
“He’s going to die if you wait!”
“HE’S GOING TO DIE IF WE OPERATE!” A voice shouted, and my eyes widened as the crowd parted and Keito stood there, his coat slung onto his shoulders and he walked forward with the calm commanding aura that he always exuded.
“Mr. Asaka, I understand you’re afraid, I understand that you want your son to get better, I really do. Your son is going to be fine, he’s strong, he can last until the next operation, don't you see how desperately he’s hanging onto life?” Keito pointed to the pitiful looking boy in the room.
“My-My son…. “ The man behind me teared up again.
“He can last… but you see…. That person you’re holding right now, he’s my student… and…. He’s also your son’s best hope of surviving the surgery in store…” These words seemed to reach him though, as the hand that held the blade to my skin shook and weakened. The cold metal left my skin as the knife dropped to the ground, as did its owner. He was crying profusely now, his eyes red with tears and he looked up at me as he begged me to save his son.
“I-I’ve already lost my wife… my wife… they’re all I have! I cant lose one of them!” He bawled and I crouched down to meet him face-to-face.
“I understand…. I understand…. And I promise, I will do everything in my power to save him okay? But right now, you need to rest okay? When the boys wake up, they’re going to need their father…..” I said, marveling at the tone I was using. A few moments ago I was sure my voice would have failed me, but now…. I felt….. confident.
Keito walked off to prepare an OR for use, while Yuri stayed behind in the cardiology office to help me.
“Ahh tskk…” I grit my teeth as he applied the salve and began to close the wound with sutures. He carefully did each stitch as I did my best not to move every time the needle pierced me.
“R-Ryu…taro…” His voice was still shaky even if his hands weren’t.
“Yes?”
“Are you.. really going to still operate?”
“Yes…”
“O-Oh…”
“Is there… something wrong? Are you okay?”
“I was just…. scared….”
“We all were… it’s natural for you to be scared…” I assured him.
“I was just scared that he was going to hurt you… and I couldn't do anything… I just stood there saying… these stupid things…. And…”
“It’s okay…. It’s okay….” I said softly, trying to soothe him.
I could tell though that he felt almost as if he had failed me somehow, his eyes never met mine as he finished the sutures and tied it off. Gingerly he packed the area in gauze before fitting the final bandage.
“D-Does it…. Restrict your motion?”
“No… I think Im okay…” I said, giving my arm a little swing. It hurt, but only if I extended it a ways.
Now all we could do though, was wait……
emmachase
Requested by: No One
Title: Kagayaki Days - Part 5
Rating: PG
Genre: ???
Pairing: OkaJimaTaro
Summary: Ryutaro joins Kagayaki hospital as one of its new cardiology interns, when he discovers theres more to Dr. Okamoto than it seems...
Notes: I'm so nervous about this one... it's been such a long time since i've written anything so this one is a test of my skills!
I didn't quite expect rounds to go as smoothly as it did that morning, but with Chinen at my side, I may as well have had eight different people with me. He was eager to learn and perform the injections and blood tests…
“Done!” He would say brightly after we finish each patient check-up.
I would nod and we’d move on…
“We’ve been going at a breakneck pace all day… but we’re finished almost a whole hour early…” I said, plopping into my desk chair.
“Would you like some coffee?”
“Yuri, stop, you’re my intern, not my waiter….. I can get my own coffee, just rest…” I chuckled, while I had a colorful relationship with my own brother…. This was what I imagined one of those corny after-school special sibling relationships was like.
“Oh Ryutaro…. you ready for the surgery? Shouldn't you be getting ready now?” Keito walked in, dropping his coat onto the rack.
“A-Ah!” I jumped up, it was almost time….
“W-Wait Ryutaro! W-What do I do?” Chinen asked, catching me just before I left.
“Finish the charts and I’ll countersign them later, and if you finish early you can come observe.”
Going through the scrubbing-in procedure used to be the time where my nerves would get the best of me, but now…. Its strange to think about how easy it comes now… to hold someone’s heart in your hands… theres nothing like it…
“Ryutaro… are you ready?”
“K-Keito! Y-Yeah…”
I watched the scalpel cut…. I watched the bone saw, the spreader, the artificial tubes….. all of it. And my hands moved on their own, I was so used to it now….
“Ryutaro… would you like to do the replacement?” Keito asked,
“Wh-What?”
“You’ve been reading up on it, you’ve been studying, and so… “ he handed me the tools in his hands.
“Don’t be nervous… “ he smiled, he held my hand steady and I could only find myself staring at it. Our hands were covered in blood, but…..
“Ryutaro… let’s begin….”
I made the first cut…. And after that…. I don't remember. It was as if my body began moving by instinct. I took exactly what I read, and poured it into my hands, the artificial tubules weaved themselves into the flesh and I scored them and stitched the aorta closed. With another hand I drew together the ends of the string and tied knots far beyond anything I could think of. If was as if.. there was someone guiding me….
“Excellent work….let’s close up now.”
“That was…. incredible…. How fast you did it… the finesse….” Chinen said eagerly as I exited the surgery bay.
“Ryutaro…. can I talk to you?” I turned to see Keito standing there
“Sure….u-uh Yuri, can you go get the charts ready for the nightly rounds?”
Keito took me to the arbor just outside the hospital, the patients that usually visited there were safely in their rooms now, the sun was setting now. Surgeons feel their surgeries last for days, or for seconds, but the sun never lies…
“Ryutaro… are you afraid…. Of something?”
“W-What do you mean?”
“Are you afraid…. Of anything?”
“Heights.”
Keito laughed and he pulled me over to a stone bench
“That’s good… but are you afraid of anything else? Something that you don't want to become?”
“What?”
“I could sense it, the things you were doing in that procedure, that was the real you... your true potential as a surgeon… so… why? Why did you wait all this time to have it come out?”
“I… I don't know”
“Ryutaro… I know you have Yuto’s journals….. and maybe when you finish you can tell me whats in them. But I also know that Yuto wrote more than just his thoughts in those pages. I know that what he wrote makes sense to you, things far beyond any normal doctor’s comprehension. I want you to use it, I want you to become more than just another surgeon. Don’t be afraid of your power, use it to save the lives of those in front of you.”
“B-But… you…”
“You think that…. if you were to remind me to Yuto, you’d hurt me?” It was almost as if Keito was reading my mind now... but I nodded anyway.
“I think about him everyday… but I don't feel sad that he’s not here anymore… I feel happy that he’s with me in spirit… I feel happy that there’s someone like him in my life who can do all the things he can to save lives. Besides, don't you think I’d feel worse if I lost a patient because we weren’t doing all we could to save him?”
As if being scolded I nodded my head again.
“Don’t be afraid Ryutaro…. you have it in you to do great things…. “
Keito smiled as he got up, a small wisp of wind snapped around him, making the soft leaves fall around him and he gave me a final nod before turning and returning to the hospital.
My hands tingled slightly and I stared at them now… the almost unreal feeling of them during that procedure… what was it?
I looked at the trees that swayed as the breeze flew through them, and I wondered…
“Yuto….?”
---
I couldn't be left alone with my thoughts for very long. That night saw the worse side of a factory fire. Workers were being rushed into the rooms with burns and lacerations from exploding or breaking machinery. I applied balms and lotions to the minor burns and left the more dire cases to the dermatology department. The general surgeons took care of the cases with the shrapnel and I finished my last patient and the ER began to empty now as those with minor injuries went home, and those more unfortunate were put into intensive care rooms in the other wing of the hospital.
The empty office never looked more soothing as I collapsed onto the small bed we kept the in the corner for just such blessed resting hours.
“Are you okay?” I sat up to see Chinen standing at the door, his scrubs stained with blood.
“I’m fine….. just a little tired… what about you? The last I saw, you had at least three stretchers assigned to you…. Not bad for an intern…”
“It was small things, minor foreign body removals….” He brought me a cup of tea and sat on the small bed opposite mine.
“You know, Yuri…. My first day was just like this… a disaster, and then sitting in this office… dead tired.”
“Oh really? When did you have your first surgery?”
“Not too long ago… I’m not that far along myself…”
The hours passed and somehow the two of us fell asleep in the small office corner. The last thing I remember was laughing so hard at a story about misplaced gauze and an oddly funny iodine stain. The next morning though I woke up to find people buzzing around the office, Keito sat at his desk signing charts and he nodded when he noticed I was awake.
“K-Keito. I’m sorry…. I fe-felll… asleep…” I cursed myself for letting my words slur a little.
“It’s okay Ryutaro, nothing happened and with you two sleeping so soundly after such a late-night shift I didn't think waking you up would be a good thing….”
“B-But I’m awake now, so… I can work….”
“You don't have to…. there aren’t any major surgeries scheduled for today, and you two have had quite the night from these reports I see… so… go home and rest…. Tomorrow will be another day.” Keito smiled.
“D-Dr. Okamoto!” I turned around to see a very disheveled Chinen standing stiffly at attention.
“Relax Chinen-Kun, it’s okay to sleep… Doctors are humans afterall….” Keito chuckled.
“I want to stay..” I said firmly.
“A-Ah I would like to work too” Chinen pipped.
A sigh came as Keito set down his reports and stared at the two of us, he raised an eyebrow and asked if we were both sure.
“Yes, I’m fine. A-And I want to be here.”
“Alright then…. Ryutaro… go on your rounds then…. And Chinen-Kun, if you would, I think Mr. Yamamoto in room 413 needs to have a his IV put in for his pre-ops.”
Checking in with my patients was a part of my routine and somehow I doubt I would have felt complete if I didn't check in with them every day…. My visits always lasted exactly ten minutes, which was just enough time for Ms. Kotani in room 528 to tell me about her latest dating prospect, enough time for Mr. Kazehaya in room 530 to tell me about his grandson that just scored a 100 on his last test, and it was even enough time for Mr. Kikuchi in room 548 to tell me about the latest plot he’d concocted for his next children’s book. I’d nod along and answer questions as I wrote their information down in their charts and laugh at the small things that they said.
Today though, I remembered at least half of my patients were discharged… and rounds took me almost half the regular time… with all this done early, I sat down at the table in the nurse’s station and found myself rather at a loss…. What was there to do…..now?
I saw Keito walk by the station now, he was smiling softly as he walked to the stairs and I saw him head upwards.
“Ne….Miki? Where’s Keito going?”
“He’s going to the roof…. Like he always does at this time….”
“The roof?”
“It’s a little thing he does every day….”
“What is it? Meditation? Yoga?”
“Nope….. not…. Exactly…”
I followed Keito up to the roof, and I found the giant space completely clear, the bright sunlight reflected off the small gravel pebbles that littered the floor. Keito stood there, his phone held to his ear.
“Oh.. Ryutaro… I didn't hear you…..” He smiled gently, shutting he phone and slipping it into his pocket.
“Was…. that someone important? Did I interrupt?” I asked feebishly
“Haha yes… it was someone important, but you weren’t interrupting… our conversation nowadays is usually just me listening.”
“Oh…. I see… well I uh… I finished my rounds already…”
“So early? You must be moving up there huh….” Even if it was a small compliment I cold feel my cheeks warm up a little.
We spent the next few minutes standing atop the roof, looking down at the world below. The soft cool currents wisped past us and I could feel myself falling into that daze, with the world so peaceful right at that exact moment… I loved it.
“Ryutaro. What do you think… of that couple right there?” Keito asked, pointing to a young couple sitting on the small bench to the left of the small arbor in front of the hospital.
“Young love..” I replied
“Then… what do you think about the couple over there?” He asked, pointing now to an elderly couple sitting opposite the younger.
“Marriage?”
“You see, even though you think they’re opposite ends of the spectrum, they couldn’t be more similar…. That young couple over there, Ms. Matsushima and Mr. Sato came in about two months ago, where he was diagnosed with a pancreatic cancer. When we told him the news, he adamantly refused to let us tell his girlfriend. He said that he wanted to spare her the pain, that he wanted her not to worry. He comes here now for treatments during the day when she’s at work and he’s supposed to be working from home. He’s shaved his head and put on a brave face every night, just like that, he pretends nothing’s happened. But somehow, I think Ms. Matsushima knows…. And she understands his kindness… so she lets it be. But they live their lives to the fullest…. Mr. and Mrs. Kuramoto over there, have the same situation, except now Mrs. Kuramoto has end-stage liver cancer, they came too late and the disease has progressed beyond what we can do for them. About three months ago, she decided to stop treatments because they just weren’t working, and all we could do at that point was hinge upon the hope that it would just work one day…. So one day while Mr. Kuramoto went down to get her son, she decided to tell the doctors to stop treatment, but requested that she be the one to tell her husband. She told him the medicine was working, and that she was cured… she left the truth in her will and told him that if anything were to happen he should open it first. And I believe that Mr. Kuramoto knows, as he sees her condition still weakening every few days… but he pretends to believe her….”
“But why? It c-could still work…” I said softly
“Ryutaro, Mrs. Kuramoto has lived a full 79 year life, and she understands time is short, and she knows that time is even shorter now, she also knows that she would rather spend the time at home with her husband and her grandchildren. Laying in bed hooked up to IVs and wanting to throw up every thirty minutes is no way to spend your final moments in this world. She wanted to go home and make cookies for her grandchildren, pass the family recipes to them and enjoy her own food with her husband of almost 60 years. To them, this is what happiness is…. Pretending… and even if it’s fake, the memories you keep from it are real…. And they could be the most beautiful memories of all….”
Keito spoke softly, as he turned back to face the rooftop. He looked different than usual, a small sense of sadness on his face mixed with the soft glow that came from the sun on his skin, it all gave him a sense of….. serenity.
“Keito… are you thinking about Yuto?” I asked boldly. And he turned to look at me with a smile.
“That’s the first time you’ve really asked about him so boldly….” He grinned
“S-So-“
“Don’t apologize… I told you didn't I? These memories are the most beautiful ones I have….”
“Then…?”
“Yes…. When Yuto first found out something was wrong with him, he didn't tell me. He didn't want to worry me, so he didn't tell me. He bravely went in and had his tests done in secret. I never knew a thing until the day he collapsed. But I remember how… angry I was with him on that day, that he didn't tell me sooner. I realized though that I wasn't really angry at him though, I realized that I was mad at myself, for not being there when he must have been scared to death.”
“He was brave… he was very brave….” I nodded.
“I poured myself into the books trying to find something to save him, something that would work… but it didn't work and it was never enough… my one regret was…. that I couldn't give him the happy final days that those two couples are sharing. I was so caught up in my own desperate world to see that he just needed me to be next to him…”
“W-What happened…the day he…”
“On the day Yuto died, I was still in the office, preparing for my next attempt to correct the surgery, I got the signal from the panel that a patient was flatlining, and I didn't look, but I knew… I just knew… it was him. I don't even know how I got to his room, but it wasn't fast enough… when I got there… all I could do was see the light fade from his eyes and grab his hand. I felt that weaken too…. The weight of so many lives have been on them for so many years, but I could feel it all slipping away. As he laid there gasping for breath, he told me one final thing…. that he missed me…”
“Keito… I’m.. so sorry….” I said, feeling rather bad for egging him on to talk about the subject.
“Well… theres…. Nothing we can do about it now so…. let’s get to work okay?” Keito changed the subject so quickly I could barely react.
Apparently his idea of killing time was for Chinen and I to sit in the cardiology office reading case studies. I saw pictures of a man born with his heart outside his chest, pictures of a child whos organs were perfectly functional….. except…. reversed, and even a picture of a man whos heart had been engorged to twice its regular size.
“U-Uwa… this one…” Chinen would exclaim on occasion, pointing to a particularly interesting case that he came across.
Unfortunately that was all that day held, at around eight at night I packed up my things and logged out of the hospital computers.
“Ne, Ryutaro? Would you….. like to go eat with me?” Chinen asked as he pulled on a slightly long coat and slipped on his pants.
“Sure, why not, where do you want to go?” I asked, throwing on my own and tossing my scrubs to the laundry basket.
“It’s a small place that a family friend owns, it’s just a little ways away.” He grinned and I nodded.
On the walk there, I got to know my intern a bit more, he told me that before he seriously considered a career in medicine, he had wanted to be a world class gymnast.
“Ohh~ That’s pretty cool then isn’t it? So you can do backflips and all that?”
“Yep!” He smiled, seeming pretty proud still.
“You’re lucky then, all the time spent studying made me so inflexible….”
“Did you used to do gymnastics too?”
“Nope, I used to dance though….”
And so it went for the short five minute walk to the small restaurant. It was definitely a small family-run shop, there weren’t many fancy frills or signs, but a small homely door upon which hung a sigh stating they were closed.
“I suppose next time we should check to see if they’re open or not….” I said, turning around
“They’re open.” I heard, as I heard the door being pulled open and a hand clasp around my wrist. With a slight pull I followed Yuri into the restaurant and was immediately greeted by a smiling young man who happily welcomed “Chi-Chan” and sat us at a table.
“It’s been such a long time since you’ve been here!” The young man grinned as he set about pulling utensils and napkins out and laying them on the table.
“I’ve been so busy, but don't worry Im still just as hungry…”
“Im sure… haha Well? I know what you want, but your friend….”
“I-I’ll just have… a small bowl of soup please.” I said quickly.
“Are you sure?” Chinen asked, his hand on the menu and ready to suggest something else.
“I don't want to eat too much before going to sleep…. “
“They seem to know you well here Yuri…”
“Yeah, when I was studying for school I’d spend hours here in this restaurant, at this table.
“Yo Chiiii-chaaan!” I almost jumped as an older lady came to the table with three plates of small appetizers and gave his companion a hug.
“Ryutaro, this is Ryoko-san, she owns this restaurant with her son.” I bowed and the lady returned the favor, she seemed almost humble and that was something quite rare these days…
While the food came quickly, I still spent most of the time talking more than drinking the soup. Somehow I got pulled into the conversation of “whether or not there should be a spicier noodle bowl on the menu”. It was such a change from my usual nights, spent worrying about the next day, practicing surgery techniques to know front and back. When we finally did finish the meals, I think I was almost sad to leave…. Truth be told, it was one of the most enjoyable times I’ve had since everything began. Just outside the restaurant, I said my goodbyes to the owners and bid Chinen goodnight and set off towards home, making sure to remember how to get to the small restaurant again.
Of course, with my luck, the next morning I got to the hospital a little bit late, and I could just imagine Keito scolding me for being so irresponsible. No matter how many times I pictured it though, it never came true. Walking into the office, usually ended with Keito greeting me, handing me the charts for the day, the countersigned charts I’d done the day before, and the books I needed study over the next week. All was as it had been for the last few months.
“Oh, Ryutaro? Don’t forget, you’re in charge of the trauma center tonight.”
“W-What?!” It had completely slipped my mind. I had signed up for a rotation a while ago, but I had completely forgotten about it…..
“Don't you remember? You picked a randome date…. And here it is…. So…. good luck tonight….” Keito grinned, grabbing his coat and heading out on his afternoon rounds. I don't think I had ever panicked as much as I did in those few minutes. It was certainly one thing to do surgery with Keito watching, it was quite another to performce surgery without him watching, much less to run an entire trauma center with him gone….
“Maybe….. you should just pray that there arent any big incidents that will require surgery….” Miki teased, throwing another few charts onto my lap.
“What are these?”
“Oh you didn't hear? One of your…… comrades…. Has dropped out of the program…”
“What?!”
“Kojima has decided that he cannot handle the program any longer so…..he has removed himself, and his patients are being divided between the two of you that remain.” She said nonchalantly, walking away.
“Ryutaro!” I snapped out of my daze to see Chinen standing beside me with a cup of coffee.
“Thanks..”
“You’ll need it, I hear you’re running the trauma center tonight….”
“Y-Yeah…”
“I’ve signed up to be on call tonight…. So I can keep you company…” He said lightly, taking a sip of his own cup.
Truth be told, it did bring me some comfort to know that he would be there, but the majority of my mind was still running through the past traumas that I’ve been in…. the many accidents that I’ve seen…. I hoped that there wouldn't be any major accidents, I hoped that nothing would happen and just somehow…. Tonight would be a quiet…. Uneventful night…
---
Naturally, the day just had to fly by, and before I knew it, Keito was packing to leave for the night and the nurses were beginning to hand in their charts. Only the night time attendings were staying behind…. And of course Chinen and myself.
Words could not describe the sheer fear that I felt when I took the seat at the desk that headed the trauma center. The pristine beds prepared with sterile intruments were all quiet as I stared at them, hoping that I wouldn't need to pick up a scalpel.
Chinen however was busy next to me, reading away at a thick book that I hadn’t bothered to look at. After some time though, I found myself beginning to relax, and every once in a while I would tense up again as I thought the phone had rung, but it always proved to be my imagination.
When Yuri had finished writing his reports I could feel him squirming around as we stared at the empty beds. I had finished all my charts early and done all my check-ups earlier in the hour, just so I could devote my attention to this…. nothing. I was grateful…. But so bored….
“Ryutaro…?”
“Hm?”
“Do you think anything will come in tonight?”
“I hope not….”
“Then can you… show me how to do these surgical sutures?”
I turned now to see he had a length of string and a rod that seemed to have held many sloppily done ties.
“I thought.....you knew how to do those…”
“No…. I know I how to do the two-handed ones… I’m trying to learn how to do one-handed ties.”
“Oh….”
Truth be told I had never done one either, but it seemed an interesting distraction….
“So… Ryutaro… do you think….. one day we could go over how to do some procedures?”
“You don't need to go over procedures…. I’ve seen you…. You’re good as you are…. Theres really not that much between us in terms of skill….”
“Still… I just… want to spend some time… with you… I mean… practicing with you….” He said, a little slower than usual.
“Then that’s fine, we’ll go into the skills lab and practice one day okay?” I said, as my hand flicked back and forth with the string in hand.
“AH! You did it!” Yuri exclaims suddenly, pointing to my hands. I hadn’t really been paying attention, but my hands seemed to have been moving by themselves. There neatly in a row were multiple ties, neatly fine with fine ends..
“Eh… I… guess I did…” But before I could actually celebrate my triumph, the first phone call of the night came in, and the two of us stared at the blinking red light…
“H-Hello…” Yuri’s voice quivered as he picked it up. He nodded and the occasional “Hmm..” came out, and he finally spoke as the phone hung up.
“Family of four, hit by drunk driver…. Driver DOA…. Three passengers wounded.” He said. A mix of feelings came over me, I was… somewhat grateful that it wasn't a big accident…. But somewhat sad that I had to think that way…
I threw on the green disposable surgical gowns, and two nurses prepared instrument trays for me and Yuri to use. All in a blur the trauma room sprang to life, with panels being moved and lights automatically flicking on. Soon, the flaring red and blue lights of the ambulance came to the door. A father with two children came in two ambulances, one child clearly in worse shape than the other.
“Tomio! Tomio!” The dad was still yelling as the paramedics tried to hold him to the stretcher.
“Sir! Please! Stay calm! Stay calm!” The nurses lent their hands as a paramedic approached.
“Male, 37, Asaka Yuudai, was in the passenger seat during the accident, no bodily injuries complained of neck pain, we’ve put him in a stabilizer, but we wont know until x-rays confirm.”
I nodded as I called for a portable x-ray machine to be brought forward.
As if it were a factory line the paramedic left the charts and went to sign the hospital forms, only to be replaced by another.
“Male, 15, Asaka Tomio, Severe chest fractures from impact, sitting behind driver and slammed into seat in front of him. He has complained of difficulty breathing and he is stable for now, but vitals are weakening slowly….”
“Bring him now.” I said, going into a trauma room. Gloves slipped themselves over my hands as a bloody mess followed in. The boy had clearly been coughing up blood. His abdomen was bruised beyond recognition as the imprint of a seat left its red welts on his skin. The x-ray they had run as soon as he got here found its way to my view and I nearly dropped the tools in my hand.
“Fractured Ribs possible aortic dissection, I need to open him up now….” I shouted as the nurses shouted their acknowledgement. A sterile tray of surgical tools came and the cover lifted. I watched as the betadine was draped all over the abdomen and the quick anesthesiologist signaled it was okay.
I cut into the poor boy to see the wreckage inside. A rather large piece of his rib had lodged itself near the aorta, and blood was pouring out.
“Tweezers, and quick gauze.” I called as hands appeared in my peripheral they threw themselves in and caught the bleeding as I removed the bone.
“He’s lucky he wasn't shifted around too much during transport, dissected aortas are near impossible to repair….” I said, as I formed a few stitches to close the wound, and packed it with a temporary bandage.
“We will need to re-operate when his vitals are stronger, if I do anything more to this aorta now…. It’ll kill him…” I said, as the nurses nodded their agreement. The boy was barely alive as it is….
“Doctor!” Another nurse shouted as I looked outside and I saw Yuri running to the other room.
“can someone please find out what happened to the other boy?” I asked as I put in stitches.
Fortunately the other boy just had a panic attack, and some calming words had more effect than another medicine could. The father had been given a clean bill of health, his pain had gone away, except for the pain that I was about to tell him….
“Mr. Asaka…. Your son… is seriously injured, right now, we have to wait until his vital signs get better before we can operate again to do the complete repair…” I started
“W-Wait… w-What happened to my Tomio?”
“A broken piece of bone, nicked the aorta, and since the blood flow is strong there…. The force of his heart almost… tore the hole open. We cant do anything until he gets stronger…”
“So… So… what? We j-just wait? How can that be?”
“We cant do anything….”
“NO! You have to do something now! If-If we wait, he could die too right?!” He was beginning to sound delirious.
“There is… that chance too…” I had to be honest to my patient
“W-What if he dies while you’re waiting?!” His voice began to grow louder with fear
“Sir… there’s nothing we can do…”
“NO! You’re wrong! There’s something! There’s always something! DO SOMETHING!” In the blink of an eye he was out of his bed and I felt a hand wrap around me as something pressed into my chest.
“You’re lying to me! Is-Is it because of my boss?! Because he canceled my insurance!? I can pay! I can pay anything! But you WILL save my son!” He was absolutely delirious now. As he shouted he dragged me into the main trauma clinic, the nurses gathered round to see me being held at knifepoint. Somewhere out the corner of my ear I could hear a nurse asking who on earth would have left him with a switchblade knife, and if it weren’t for the seemingly long piece of metal pressed against my chest I probably would have been concerned with that too…
“P-Please calm down!” Yuri said softly as he walked forward slowly, I could see his hands trembling, something so unlike him.
“SAVE HIM! Or-or… Or he’ll suffer with him!” As he spoke a rush of pain came as he dragged the blade across my skin, forming a cut just above my chest, I nearly fell backwards onto him from the pain. I could see the crimson red stain beginning to form on my coat and stumbled.
“S-Stop! D-Don't… don't hurt him… Mr. Asaka… I need you to calm down.. please…!”
“He’s going to die if you wait!”
“HE’S GOING TO DIE IF WE OPERATE!” A voice shouted, and my eyes widened as the crowd parted and Keito stood there, his coat slung onto his shoulders and he walked forward with the calm commanding aura that he always exuded.
“Mr. Asaka, I understand you’re afraid, I understand that you want your son to get better, I really do. Your son is going to be fine, he’s strong, he can last until the next operation, don't you see how desperately he’s hanging onto life?” Keito pointed to the pitiful looking boy in the room.
“My-My son…. “ The man behind me teared up again.
“He can last… but you see…. That person you’re holding right now, he’s my student… and…. He’s also your son’s best hope of surviving the surgery in store…” These words seemed to reach him though, as the hand that held the blade to my skin shook and weakened. The cold metal left my skin as the knife dropped to the ground, as did its owner. He was crying profusely now, his eyes red with tears and he looked up at me as he begged me to save his son.
“I-I’ve already lost my wife… my wife… they’re all I have! I cant lose one of them!” He bawled and I crouched down to meet him face-to-face.
“I understand…. I understand…. And I promise, I will do everything in my power to save him okay? But right now, you need to rest okay? When the boys wake up, they’re going to need their father…..” I said, marveling at the tone I was using. A few moments ago I was sure my voice would have failed me, but now…. I felt….. confident.
Keito walked off to prepare an OR for use, while Yuri stayed behind in the cardiology office to help me.
“Ahh tskk…” I grit my teeth as he applied the salve and began to close the wound with sutures. He carefully did each stitch as I did my best not to move every time the needle pierced me.
“R-Ryu…taro…” His voice was still shaky even if his hands weren’t.
“Yes?”
“Are you.. really going to still operate?”
“Yes…”
“O-Oh…”
“Is there… something wrong? Are you okay?”
“I was just…. scared….”
“We all were… it’s natural for you to be scared…” I assured him.
“I was just scared that he was going to hurt you… and I couldn't do anything… I just stood there saying… these stupid things…. And…”
“It’s okay…. It’s okay….” I said softly, trying to soothe him.
I could tell though that he felt almost as if he had failed me somehow, his eyes never met mine as he finished the sutures and tied it off. Gingerly he packed the area in gauze before fitting the final bandage.
“D-Does it…. Restrict your motion?”
“No… I think Im okay…” I said, giving my arm a little swing. It hurt, but only if I extended it a ways.
Now all we could do though, was wait……