Day 11: The breakup
I'm still shattered, but less than I was a week ago. Still I have moments that I forget the events of February 17th, and then startle when I realize I'm single.
I was very used to Phil being in my life. Last weekend in Verneuil was really hard. I went to bed feeling his absence. No TV on downstairs which always made me feel...safe.
I would wake in the night and hear him snoring in the next bedroom. That also made me feel safe.
That's not there anymore and I miss it all.
I read some of our old email exchanges from 2008 and it shocked me to read all the warmth and love that was contained in those. How did we go from that to February 17th? Everytime I replay him sitting there announcing his plan, I am...just stunned at the man Phil turned out to be.
I will make a decision about keeping the house after summer. Not now. Maybe by then I'll be used to the heavy silence of being there without him.
I was very used to Phil being in my life. Last weekend in Verneuil was really hard. I went to bed feeling his absence. No TV on downstairs which always made me feel...safe.
I would wake in the night and hear him snoring in the next bedroom. That also made me feel safe.
That's not there anymore and I miss it all.
I read some of our old email exchanges from 2008 and it shocked me to read all the warmth and love that was contained in those. How did we go from that to February 17th? Everytime I replay him sitting there announcing his plan, I am...just stunned at the man Phil turned out to be.
I will make a decision about keeping the house after summer. Not now. Maybe by then I'll be used to the heavy silence of being there without him.