processing...processing...
I'm posting so often lately; it's one outlet I can use, I guess. But I'm really here again because I forgot to write about this weird dream I had last night.
I was traveling someplace for business or a conference. After a flight or train ride, I took a taxi and was dropped off on a corner where there were several hotels. I was unfamiliar with the city, of course, so I was disoriented. Making up my mind after a moment, I headed toward a hotel that I thought was the one I had reservations at. Inside, it looked quite grand despite its incomplete state. They were in the process of remodeling and redecorating, though they were almost done. Someone said they would help me in a moment, and invited me to take a look around. I did, and I wandered through elegantly decorated sitting rooms, lounges, and ballrooms.
Eventually, I got tired of carrying all my things, so I left them discreetly tucked in a corner of a stairwell. I have no idea why I thought that was a good idea in my dream. I continued up the stairs and found more rooms, although these were less complete than the ones I had passed through before. A tiny inkling of apprehension appeared in my consciousness, but I pressed on. I figured I was being unreasonably paranoid. But soon enough, the silence began to get to me, as I hadn't seen or heard anyone else the entire time. Suddenly, I noticed how dark the place had gotten. The natural light that had been shining through the windows was blocked on the upper floors by heavy protective sheets. Where there had been washes of yellow and cream became grey and shadowy. Fear spiked through me when I realized that my vision had become significantly impaired -- I'd foolishly taken my glasses off and left them with my other things in the stairwell. Everything was much blurrier in the dimness. I was afraid I had gotten lost, but I found my way back to the stairwell, grabbed my things, and ran out of that wrong hotel back onto the corner.
Finding myself back at where I started in the dream, I took another look around and headed into another hotel. This one was much more modest, but at least there were regular people around. And it turned out to be the correct one, as they found my reservation right away. I seemed to recover remarkably well from the odd terror at the other hotel. My dream took another strange turn as I somehow ended up partnered with a female special agent who was trying to avoid getting killed. That's all I remember.
You'd think that the outright stated possibility of being killed by bad guys would be just as scary as being lost by yourself someplace. However, the first part of my dream held much more fear for me. After meeting up with that agent, there was something involving a car bomb, but I still wasn't nearly was scared as when I was wandering in the half-light without my glasses. It was unnerving on a deeply personal level. I've noticed that dreams in which I'm lost and stumbling around in the dark are filled with such a sense of foreboding that I wake up feeling quite unsettled. Actually, it's a bit disturbing that it's been a recurring theme in my dreams since I was a child. I don't believe I dream that sort of thing very frequently, but when it has happened, I've been left feeling rattled and melancholic.
Fortunately, that feeling has faded more quickly upon awakening through the years. I hope it means I'm learning to live better for myself. Because geez, I don't want to be a tortured type! It sucks being in a perpetual state of existential crisis, and I do not want it. Now that I've got the dream out on virtual paper, I want to set it aside. It was an attempt by my subconscious to get over the anxiety and melacholy I'd been feeling for much of the past week.
I was traveling someplace for business or a conference. After a flight or train ride, I took a taxi and was dropped off on a corner where there were several hotels. I was unfamiliar with the city, of course, so I was disoriented. Making up my mind after a moment, I headed toward a hotel that I thought was the one I had reservations at. Inside, it looked quite grand despite its incomplete state. They were in the process of remodeling and redecorating, though they were almost done. Someone said they would help me in a moment, and invited me to take a look around. I did, and I wandered through elegantly decorated sitting rooms, lounges, and ballrooms.
Eventually, I got tired of carrying all my things, so I left them discreetly tucked in a corner of a stairwell. I have no idea why I thought that was a good idea in my dream. I continued up the stairs and found more rooms, although these were less complete than the ones I had passed through before. A tiny inkling of apprehension appeared in my consciousness, but I pressed on. I figured I was being unreasonably paranoid. But soon enough, the silence began to get to me, as I hadn't seen or heard anyone else the entire time. Suddenly, I noticed how dark the place had gotten. The natural light that had been shining through the windows was blocked on the upper floors by heavy protective sheets. Where there had been washes of yellow and cream became grey and shadowy. Fear spiked through me when I realized that my vision had become significantly impaired -- I'd foolishly taken my glasses off and left them with my other things in the stairwell. Everything was much blurrier in the dimness. I was afraid I had gotten lost, but I found my way back to the stairwell, grabbed my things, and ran out of that wrong hotel back onto the corner.
Finding myself back at where I started in the dream, I took another look around and headed into another hotel. This one was much more modest, but at least there were regular people around. And it turned out to be the correct one, as they found my reservation right away. I seemed to recover remarkably well from the odd terror at the other hotel. My dream took another strange turn as I somehow ended up partnered with a female special agent who was trying to avoid getting killed. That's all I remember.
You'd think that the outright stated possibility of being killed by bad guys would be just as scary as being lost by yourself someplace. However, the first part of my dream held much more fear for me. After meeting up with that agent, there was something involving a car bomb, but I still wasn't nearly was scared as when I was wandering in the half-light without my glasses. It was unnerving on a deeply personal level. I've noticed that dreams in which I'm lost and stumbling around in the dark are filled with such a sense of foreboding that I wake up feeling quite unsettled. Actually, it's a bit disturbing that it's been a recurring theme in my dreams since I was a child. I don't believe I dream that sort of thing very frequently, but when it has happened, I've been left feeling rattled and melancholic.
Fortunately, that feeling has faded more quickly upon awakening through the years. I hope it means I'm learning to live better for myself. Because geez, I don't want to be a tortured type! It sucks being in a perpetual state of existential crisis, and I do not want it. Now that I've got the dream out on virtual paper, I want to set it aside. It was an attempt by my subconscious to get over the anxiety and melacholy I'd been feeling for much of the past week.