AHHHHHH!!!!!

[emma_energy]

ok i have nerves about uni. ok i admit, its uni and life in general. ok uni im actually worried i wont pass, but i have so far so whats so scary. the thing i think is really scaring me is not knowing what im going to do after uni. i have no idea what i want to do with my life work wise. i just feel ambitionless for the first time. not that i have really had any ambition. theres never been anything i really really wanted to be and stuck with it (ange informs me i wanted to be a librarian for a long while though) but i think studying at uni, was like yeh this is my ambition, to finish uni, and now its here and im like "WHAT NEXT"?????? and i dont think i really want to make that decision. ok the thing thats thrown me today is the nerves, i had my Pagans Jews and CHristians exam this morning, and i had the worst nerves i;ve had, i was sick to my stomach, not about the content or anything, or the lack of study i had done, cos face it, i dont study!! and i know thats a reality. but i think it finally hit me this morning, or last night that im so close to the end, and man why did i have to experience it physically!!!???

anyway e4xam went ok, questions werent too bad. kinda recycled my answers for each, so i dont want to hear about Jewish revolts, Decius's persecutions or the Diocletianic persecutions (which i was so no prepared for but managed to pull something out of wat i had read on it)... and i got my essays back from tom and got high credits. so thats ok....

ok so if i was that nervous this morning. imagine what i am going to be like Monday morning!!!