(no subject)
I'm not in a good mood. not that im angry or anything. i'm just feeling lonely and depressed.
its been happening more and more lately. i have a good nite out with friends and then come home and get kinda depressed and cry. sometimes its over important stuff. but sometimes its stupid. like last nite. but i suppose it doesnt really matter. i just feel lonely. and ive fallen back into a pattern where i cant get to sleep unless ive been drinking, or cry myself to sleep. sometimes both.
and i had a really weird dream that emma and adz abandoned me. it was stupid. it was just the movies. but i really overreacted in the dream. i prob would if it happened in real life right now. i think thats prob my greatest fear. that i'll be alone. everyone i've let in in the last couple of years has left. which is why at the moment i dont really want to open up to anyone about how i'm feeling. cos i really dont think i'm coping with stuff. which is why i partly find this funny. but its like its my journal and u can read it and comment, but its not the same as me telling someone in person.
its been happening more and more lately. i have a good nite out with friends and then come home and get kinda depressed and cry. sometimes its over important stuff. but sometimes its stupid. like last nite. but i suppose it doesnt really matter. i just feel lonely. and ive fallen back into a pattern where i cant get to sleep unless ive been drinking, or cry myself to sleep. sometimes both.
and i had a really weird dream that emma and adz abandoned me. it was stupid. it was just the movies. but i really overreacted in the dream. i prob would if it happened in real life right now. i think thats prob my greatest fear. that i'll be alone. everyone i've let in in the last couple of years has left. which is why at the moment i dont really want to open up to anyone about how i'm feeling. cos i really dont think i'm coping with stuff. which is why i partly find this funny. but its like its my journal and u can read it and comment, but its not the same as me telling someone in person.