Cast me not away, say you'll be with me...
Ok....so this is going to be my last entry in Live Journal...the only reason i've kept this going is to keep tabs on 'the crew' and seeing as I don't believe I'll be seeing any of you in the near future, why keep it? So this being my final entry, I'd like to say some things to some people....get some stuff off my chest.
Most all of you know the events that have unfolded the past couple months.....for a long time i've felt myself drifting farther and farther away, well more like being pushed farther away....and certain things have made friendships with some people just about impossible now. And being the friends that you guys are, I can't discriminate. I'm either friends with all of you, or none....sucks but thats the way it is right?!? I'd like you all to know that i love you guys....all of you will forever have a special place in my heart....you've meant so much to me....been my life for a long time, and I hate to leave you all....but everyone grows up, and unfortunately we don't all grow together. Hopefully sometime down the road we can all be friends again.
So some extra things to say to a few people....just to clear the air.
Sean. Please know that I wish none of this had happened. If I could go back and make all this shit right I would, in a heartbeat....you have been such a good friend to me. I don't even have the words to express what you mean to me....but none of that matters now. Too much has been said, too much done...i'm sorry just isn't enough anymore. But in my defense i would like to say....I never lied to you, you know that....and I know i hurt you badly but you knew full well that that could happen, hence my hesitation to start a relationship in the first place....you knew it was coming. You say that I never cared....you couldn't be farther from the truth.....I care(d) for you more than i cared for almost anyone. And as for deliberately doing things to hurt you....have you ever known me to deliberately hurt anyone/thing? I'd hurt myself before I hurt you if I could. I know it probably means nothing, but i'm truly sorry and I'll always love you.
Kevin. To you too i'm sorry. You were a friend to me when I had none. You too meant more to me than just about anyone.....and there isn't much I wouldn't do to be the friends we used to be. But again in my defense i'd like to speak. You told me that I hurt you....and although i may have hurt you more, don't you think that you've hurt me?? One stupid example was watching you and Diana make out in my backseat as I drove you guys around....not to mention your constant attacks and insults on me and my relationship desicions.....you made me feel low...lower than anyone has...and no matter what I did I don't think i deserved that...you hurt me a lot more than you may know.
Jackie.Don't believe everything you hear. No matter who says it. I thought we were cool...and to call me a whore??? hrmmm.
Right. So thats it. Again, i'm sorry things had to end this way....i guess somepeoples lives just turn down a different road. And please don't think that i'm mad at any of you...i'm not....i'd still like to see you guys...you know my screen name and where i work heh. I just think my life is better lived not around you guys for right now. I'll miss you though.
Most all of you know the events that have unfolded the past couple months.....for a long time i've felt myself drifting farther and farther away, well more like being pushed farther away....and certain things have made friendships with some people just about impossible now. And being the friends that you guys are, I can't discriminate. I'm either friends with all of you, or none....sucks but thats the way it is right?!? I'd like you all to know that i love you guys....all of you will forever have a special place in my heart....you've meant so much to me....been my life for a long time, and I hate to leave you all....but everyone grows up, and unfortunately we don't all grow together. Hopefully sometime down the road we can all be friends again.
So some extra things to say to a few people....just to clear the air.
Sean. Please know that I wish none of this had happened. If I could go back and make all this shit right I would, in a heartbeat....you have been such a good friend to me. I don't even have the words to express what you mean to me....but none of that matters now. Too much has been said, too much done...i'm sorry just isn't enough anymore. But in my defense i would like to say....I never lied to you, you know that....and I know i hurt you badly but you knew full well that that could happen, hence my hesitation to start a relationship in the first place....you knew it was coming. You say that I never cared....you couldn't be farther from the truth.....I care(d) for you more than i cared for almost anyone. And as for deliberately doing things to hurt you....have you ever known me to deliberately hurt anyone/thing? I'd hurt myself before I hurt you if I could. I know it probably means nothing, but i'm truly sorry and I'll always love you.
Kevin. To you too i'm sorry. You were a friend to me when I had none. You too meant more to me than just about anyone.....and there isn't much I wouldn't do to be the friends we used to be. But again in my defense i'd like to speak. You told me that I hurt you....and although i may have hurt you more, don't you think that you've hurt me?? One stupid example was watching you and Diana make out in my backseat as I drove you guys around....not to mention your constant attacks and insults on me and my relationship desicions.....you made me feel low...lower than anyone has...and no matter what I did I don't think i deserved that...you hurt me a lot more than you may know.
Jackie.Don't believe everything you hear. No matter who says it. I thought we were cool...and to call me a whore??? hrmmm.
Right. So thats it. Again, i'm sorry things had to end this way....i guess somepeoples lives just turn down a different road. And please don't think that i'm mad at any of you...i'm not....i'd still like to see you guys...you know my screen name and where i work heh. I just think my life is better lived not around you guys for right now. I'll miss you though.