White.
My room is completely white right now. Everywhere I look, white white white. It's nice I suppose, but the fumes...oh man they are getting to me...not that I need anything else to get to me, right? I'm really stressed out. My house is a complete disaster, which is entirely my fault cause I wanted to start painting and now I don't have time to finish, all my stuff is just out in the middle of the living room, messy as can be. I shouldn't have taken on so big of a project. I'm also stressed about my job, which I hate, school which I am totally unprepared for and a plethora of other things. How frustrating. Stress is no fun, no fun at all. But big girls don't cry they say, and so I will be strong and get through all this crap, even if I look like crap while going through it. Today I looked rather disheveled, unplucked eyebrows, unshaved legs, no makeup, pimples covering me...ugh what a sight to see. I want to ask someone to help me or something, but I don't know who. So I continue on: sleeping when I can, getting my kicks and laughs when I can, and spending alot of time cleaning up my own mess. Paul came over and helped me paint tonight, that was very nice of him. Then we went and got ice cream at Kimball's...I'm am so totally gonna be a fat person when I grow up. Rachelle told me tonight that my boobs are getting smaller, which she of course has noticed. Some girl I work with told me I look skinnier everytime she sees me, which doesn't make sense cause it's always when I feel like I'm turning into a tub of lard that she comments. I want to get to the gym before my membership runs out, I paid big cash money for that and I intend to milk it for all it's worth. Tonight I bought tofu and spinach and tomato and concocted a sesame salad out of it, it was delightful...I marinated the tofu in sesame stuff and then cooked it and put it on my salad...yum! Ok well before I get any more tired or something...I'm going to bed. We watched a super boring movie with the daycare kids today and I wanted to nap then but I couldn't cause the little girl next to me made it her job to keep me from dozing off. Thanks, Kayla.