things
I don't know why, but I'm kind of on a self-fulfillment kick. I woke up last week and just kind of decided I'm going to be awesome. I want to wear clothes with purpose. And I mean, even if it means I wind up in a jeans/cardigan/tshirt like always, I'm wearing lipstick. And maybe some weird jewelry or shoes that stand out. I'm tired of frump-comfort. I'm all about embracing my inner awesome.
I'm also craving some kind of creative fulfillment in my work. I love acting. I want to be an actor. But unless I move to a place where acting can be my day-to-day, I need to find something to do that will be fulfilling when acting is kind of resigned to be a glorified hobby. Today one of the new adjunct acting teachers said that he liked my mustard cardigan matched with my berry colored lips and freshly black-brown hair. He said I was channeling Audrey Hepburn and that if he didn't know me, just saw me on the street, he'd assume I'm a designer or a stylist or something artistic-- just from the look of me. At least I have my clothes and my aura if I'm going to be confined to pushing papers at this desk, but this is really not what I want to do anymore. My career needs to embrace the awesome.
So I've determined: I want to be a designer. Or a stylist. Definitely an artist. My problem is that I certainly like pretty things and I have an eye for it (in the sense that I like pretty things), but I don't have a super natural knack for decorating. I don't know the differences between cloths and patterns and paints and the names of furniture. I don't possess much technique in makeup application (in spite of the fact that my dad, who has complimented me on my makeup application since I was doing my own for dance recitals as an 11-year old-- my dad, who likes women to have short hair and not wear much makeup at all) and I don't know about new products, but I know pretty well what works on my face and how to "do." I'm taking more risks with colors and how much I wear. Lipstick. Foreign. Love affair.
I may go back to school, or at least take some online classes or something. I talked to a designer friend of mine today who said most of her training has come from researching and doing on her own, not with the help of expensive classes. I have access to a sister who knows interesting computer programs. I probably have a better eye than I think I do-- I just don't know how to use the programs that have interesting fonts or can edit boring photos into fake Polaroids, for example. I could do it well, I think, if I knew how.
And you know? When it comes to the acting thing, there's a good chance Mr. Ames and I may throw security to the wind and audition for Tuacahn for next summer. What if we get cast? Who knows. Maybe I'll just quit my job. But I need to be happy doing what I do, even if it means a little less money for those trips to Taco Bell or whatever. I'm good at stuff. I could be good at stuff I don't even know I'm good at. I can surround myself with beautiful things and beautiful clothes and it won't be materialistic or shallow of me. It could be a career.
I'm going to figure out how.
Any suggestions?
I'm also craving some kind of creative fulfillment in my work. I love acting. I want to be an actor. But unless I move to a place where acting can be my day-to-day, I need to find something to do that will be fulfilling when acting is kind of resigned to be a glorified hobby. Today one of the new adjunct acting teachers said that he liked my mustard cardigan matched with my berry colored lips and freshly black-brown hair. He said I was channeling Audrey Hepburn and that if he didn't know me, just saw me on the street, he'd assume I'm a designer or a stylist or something artistic-- just from the look of me. At least I have my clothes and my aura if I'm going to be confined to pushing papers at this desk, but this is really not what I want to do anymore. My career needs to embrace the awesome.
So I've determined: I want to be a designer. Or a stylist. Definitely an artist. My problem is that I certainly like pretty things and I have an eye for it (in the sense that I like pretty things), but I don't have a super natural knack for decorating. I don't know the differences between cloths and patterns and paints and the names of furniture. I don't possess much technique in makeup application (in spite of the fact that my dad, who has complimented me on my makeup application since I was doing my own for dance recitals as an 11-year old-- my dad, who likes women to have short hair and not wear much makeup at all) and I don't know about new products, but I know pretty well what works on my face and how to "do." I'm taking more risks with colors and how much I wear. Lipstick. Foreign. Love affair.
I may go back to school, or at least take some online classes or something. I talked to a designer friend of mine today who said most of her training has come from researching and doing on her own, not with the help of expensive classes. I have access to a sister who knows interesting computer programs. I probably have a better eye than I think I do-- I just don't know how to use the programs that have interesting fonts or can edit boring photos into fake Polaroids, for example. I could do it well, I think, if I knew how.
And you know? When it comes to the acting thing, there's a good chance Mr. Ames and I may throw security to the wind and audition for Tuacahn for next summer. What if we get cast? Who knows. Maybe I'll just quit my job. But I need to be happy doing what I do, even if it means a little less money for those trips to Taco Bell or whatever. I'm good at stuff. I could be good at stuff I don't even know I'm good at. I can surround myself with beautiful things and beautiful clothes and it won't be materialistic or shallow of me. It could be a career.
I'm going to figure out how.
Any suggestions?