the east wind, chapter 5.
Mai liked her job. No she loved it. ‘Informant’ was a nice euphemism for what Mai did. She found things out, things for Zuko mostly. Something in her grumpy bored disposition made people want to tell her things. She didn’t often have to use her daggers, but she wasn’t opposed to bringing them out when necessary. Since becoming Firelord, Zuko had made a lot of changes and consequently he’d made a lot of people very unhappy. This meant he’d made a lot of enemies, even more than he’d had previously. One of Mai’s many jobs was to find out what was going on in the minds of these enemies. Could they be swayed, bought, bribed or blackmailed or were they going to become a problem. Mai was good a solving problems.
Some problems are easy. There’d been a General who had, disapproved of Zuko, to put it mildly. He wanted Azula for Firelord and was planning a coup. The simple, bloodless solution was coercing this general to actually visit Azula (on a bad day, Mai had made sure it was a bad day) had solved this particular problem. He’d spent less than 30 seconds with that raving lunatic before abandoning his plans. Zuko had found out. He’d been furious that she had been parading Azula around like a freakshow, just to win what he thought was some petty political point. Mai had been expecting ‘thank you.’ That’s not too much to ask, is it.
Some problems were much harder. The problem of talking some sense into Zuko when he got all melodramatic was impossible. Mai didn’t know how Iroh did it. She suspected there was something in that tea. Mai loved her job for the most part. It was only in moments like these that she hated it.
“You really think we should maintain military presence there? I’ve seen what fire nation troops do to earth kingdom villages.” Zuko exclaimed, looking at her with disbelief.
“Well they’re not just the earth kingdom anymore.” Mai explained in a dry monotone.
“Well, they’re not 100% fire nation either. I know the men have families there, and I know it’s been mixed nationality for 80 years and I don’t want to disrupt those soldiers lives. But it just doesn’t feel right to maintain such a huge military presence there. That many soldiers would make anyone nervous. I don’t blame the Earth King for asking us to withdraw.”
Zuko was in a tight spot. They’d re-established diplomatic relations with the Earth King and one of his first requests was the removal of all fire nation troops from the Earth Kingdom. This was proving more complicated than Zuko initially thought. It wasn’t a simple task, demilitarizing a place like the fire nation colonies. Zuko thought for a bit. Mai sighed and looked out the window. She was bored of this already.
“We pulled all the troops out of Omashu or Ba Sing Se easily enough. Maybe we could just return all the troops who want to come home. The men with families there, who wish to stay in the earth kingdom, would be allowed to remain.” Zuko suggested.
Gah! He had no head for this at all. He was always worried about how it would make people feel, instead of how it looked! A namby pamby, everybody-do-what-you-want-policy would make him look like a weak Firelord who couldn’t control the military and that would make problems for Mai.
“And how will that look to everybody else? That kind of system, letting everybody do what they want, breeds anarchy. And you don’t need anarchy right now sunshine.” The blind girl had a habit of calling Zuko sunshine, when she wanted to make a point and Mai used it now to full effect. Bollocks to this. She had a sexy yu yan archer at home, just waiting to order a fruit tart with her. Zuko could negotiate until he was blue in the face with the Earth King. She’d said her piece. It was time to go.
“Look you asked for my report and my recommendations and I’ve given them to you. I’m bored of this conversation now.” Mai said as she stalked off. Zuko was really lucky she still retained so much affection for him, she thought grumpily to herself.
They would’ve never worked together. She had always known this really. Zuko cared about everything too much. Mai didn’t care about anything that much. They were different on such fundamental levels. It had actually been Azula who pointed it out. Zuko visited her every week. Mai wasn’t sure why. Maybe because he was a masochist. Maybe because he wanted to lord the fact that he’d won in the end over her. No, neither of those were the real reasons. Azula was still his baby sister, and he still loved her, even after everything.
While they’d been going out, Zuko had tried repeatedly to get Mai to go visit her. Mai was busy! She was indisposed. She had a million things she’d rather do that visit miss crazy-pants-lightening-bolts. Zuko wouldn’t let it drop. She’d really like to see you. She’s getting better. She was almost normal today. You were her friend, Zuko would say, as if this explained everything. No, I was her subordinate, Mai would think. There’s a difference. They weren’t friends like he was friends with the avatar’s gang.
Eventually Mai caved and went out to Ember island. There was a small facility. It was on the other side of the island to the royal residence, But Zuko thought the familiar surroundings would comfort Azula. It was a nice hospital (even though nobody called it a hospital). Azula had her own room, with her own things and a nice window view. She was watched 24/7 and had chi blocking bracelets and anklets so she couldn’t bend, but otherwise she was left to her own devices.
“So do you still love Zuko more than you fear me?” Azula asked conversationally, her eyes only slightly unsettled.
“Yes” Mai answered, and it had been true then.
Then Azula started to laugh. It was a deep but not entirely unpleasant belly laugh. Her eyes took on a mad glaze.
“What’s so funny?” simple questions, neutral tone. That was how you got the information you wanted.
“Oh Mai, you were just part of the stage where he was trying to be the perfect prince to please daddykins. A noble firenation girlfriend just completed the look.” She laughed again, but softer, more chuckling to herself.
“you’re wrong.” Mai said plainly.
“Am I, dearest Mai? He grew out of that stage. How long before he outgrows you? How long before he writes you another letter?”
“He wouldn’t.” Mai said, trying to sound calm, but Azula unsettled her. She had a knack for unsettling people. It was her gift. She just knew how to push your buttons. Manipulations were a habit for her. Some people bite their fingernails. Azula messed with people.
“Dear Mai. I’m sorry to be writing you another letter like this….”Azula started laughing uncontrollably, as though she had just made the funniest joke ever. “But I felt this was the best way to tell you. I know you probably won’t understand……” at this she started almost crying with laughter and making little snorty noises. Mai got up abruptly and strode to the door. She wasn’t staying for this.
She saw Zuko waiting for her down the hall.
“How did it go?” Zuko asked hopefully.
“She’s crazy.”
Mai didn’t go visit Azula again. When she sent that general in to see her, she’d waited in the Teashop, drinking Jasmine tea after Jasmine tea. Iroh was right. It was calming.
….
They’d broken up two weeks later. Mostly amicably. They’d both known it was coming. Mai told herself Azula had nothing to do with her decision. It was her decision this time. She wasn’t going to have to same boy dump her twice. He asked her to stay on as his informant.
“Won’t it be weird? Now that we’re not together?”
“Maybe, but you’re the only other person in the firenation aside from my uncle who I trust to tell me the truth.”
They had always been better at being friends than they were at being lovers. Mai took up with a Yu Yan archer. He was sweet, sexy and uncomplicated. She’d found someone who worshipped her and worship was good. Zuko would find someone too, she was sure. Someone more passionate would be a better fit for him. Someone who would like him for his fire and his kindness.
Zuko threw himself into trying to fix the nation, relying on Iroh’s gentle guidance and her tough love. She knew he was lonely without the rest of the Avatar’s gang. The water tribe siblings wrote to him all the time, but it wasn’t the same. Especially as most of his missives were about discouraging them from calling him ‘your dorkiness’. He’d been downright chipper when that blind girl had randomly shown up one day a few months back. And 2 weeks ago, when there had been a flurry of messenger hawks he’d actually smiled. Like four times. Even though most of the Avatar’s gang annoyed her no end, she could learn to tolerate them, if only for that.
…
The Avatar was gloomy. Well gloomy for him, which probably meant he only said “gee whizz” instead on “whizz bang”. Relationship problems with the waterbender girl apparently. She knew this because the blind girl had told Zuko, who had told Iroh, who had told her. She had asked Zuko about it the next time she saw him. Was the Avatar really unhappy? It was hard to tell with that kid.
“Yeah, apparently so. Toph says we have to keep him busy or he’ll want to talk about feelings and crap like that.”
Mai had, in her brief relationship with Zuko, been on the receiving end of his attempts to talk about “feelings and crap like that.” Mai wasn’t into talking about feelings and crap. Feelings and Mai didn’t go well together. Invariably whenever somebody wanted to talk about their feelings you had to pretend that you cared and that’s just not what Mai was into.
But Zuko was, hands down, even worse at talking about feelings than Mai. If they had a competition about who could be the least communicative about how they really felt, Zuko would get a large, large trophy. Not only was he as adverse to these conversations as Mai was, he was hopelessly ineloquent when it came to talking about feelings and was blessed with the limitless ability of put his foot in his mouth, mix his metaphors and miss the point.
Zuko just couldn’t pick up what she thought were simple hints. It didn’t matter how many hints she dropped him, he was perpetually like hint-Teflon, nothing stuck. Sometimes she imagined the palace was literally strewn with hints that some oblivious person had dropped in the hopes that Zuko would pick them up. Zuko had, admirably, tried to talk about “feelings” with the avatar, one day when they were sparring. It didn’t go very well. So when the bald boy shouted at Zuko “you just don’t get it, do you!” she knew the feeling all to well.
She wanted to have a fire wine with him in solidarity. So when she saw him on his own, for a brief minute, at the blind girl’s birthday party that’s exactly what she did. Really someone just needed to tell the kid to suck it up. Relationships are hard. Sometimes they don’t work. Get over it. She felt a conversation like this would be eminently more helpful to baldy than Zuko talking about silver sandwiches or the blind chick throwing rocks at him.
“Hey kid.” She said coming up behind him.
“Aaah, hi …..Mai!” there was a long pause while the bald kid obviously wracked his brains for her name. He looked vaguely startled at being addressed so directly by her. They hadn’t every really talked much.
“Let’s you and me have a talk.” The kid looked dubious.
“Come on, I’ll buy you a drink.” Mai offered neutrally. That got a reaction out of the kid.
“Everything’s free though” he said looking confused.
“ I’ll get you a drink then.” She said feeling irritated. Why did she even care? Iroh and Zuko were rubbing off on her and it sucked. The kid acquiesced and a short time later they were sitting on the palace balcony stairs a bottle of fire wine between them. She thought it might help the kid loosen up.
“So what did you want to talk to me about?” the kid asked as he took a sip and made a face.
“The problems you’ve been having with the waterbending girl.” Mai said simply.
The kid spat all his wine out in a surprised burst. Really he couldn’t have looked more surprised if she’d slapped him in the face with a kipper. Nobody every expected kipper in the face!
“You know about that?! How do you know about that!?”
“Everybody knows about that.” The kid made a face that was a priceless mix of sheer mortification and surprise.
“Maybe not everyb….”she tried for a reassuring tone, but found lying to the kid wasn’t her style…
”Yeah. Everybody knows.” She finished
“Oh bloody hell.” The kid said and earthbended himself into the ground.
“Hey kid! Are you okay in there?” she said to the patch of ground he’d disappeared under.
“I’m waiting for the earth to swallow me whole.” The muffled answer came from the ground.
“Okay then, you do that.” She said and waited patiently. After thirty seconds he came back up.
“Fire wine?” Mai offered. He’d grabbed the cup and took three quick gulps.
“Whoa, steady there kid.” Mai offered.
“This is the most embarrassed I’ve ever been in my whole life.” The kid said dejectedly.
“Well if it’s any consolation, this is miles less embarrassing than the most embarrassed Zuko’s ever been in his life.” Mai said in what she hoped was a comforting tone. “I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s only sex.” She added helpfully.
The kid’s eye bulged out of his face. And he looked at her like she’d grown a second head.
“ It’s not only…that.” The kid finished lamely, blushing a furious red. Couldn’t even say sex, what business did he had engaging in it.
“What is it then?” Mai asked.
“She won’t even talk to me now. And it’s just so weird between us and I just want to go back to before it ever happened and make sure it never happens.”
“It was that bad huh?” Mai did her upmost to keep all the sarcasm out of her voice.
“I dunno, It’s the only time I’ve ever done…it.” The kid was so red now he blended in perfectly with his firenation ensemble.
“Was it her first time too?”
“yes”
“ooooch” Mai sucked air in through her teeth and made a face.
“What’s that supposed to mean!”
“The first time is always a bit weird and awkward for anyone but it’s even more weird and awkward if it’s with the wrong person.”
“You think we’re the wrong people to do that together.”
“You tell me. It sounds like it didn’t go very well.”
“well, I dunno, I thought we were, you know, right. For each other. I really love her. But now I don’t know. I don’t if she saw me that way.” The kid took a few more big gulps. He paused for a second and thought. Then he said “ She didn’t love me the way I loved her. I think she didn’t want to hurt my feelings by saying no. ” This sad little admission caused the avatar to hang his head. Mai had been in his position. Boy had she ever. God she couldn’t believe she was going to tell the kid this. She’d never talked to anyone about this. She took a big sip of wine.
“Zuko never loved me the way I loved him. He didn’t want to hurt my feelings either. But then he did. In a big way. I got over it. You’ll get over this too.”
“You don’t think she’ll ever love me the way I love her?”
“I think if she did, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
They both took a steady sip from their cups. The avatar look off deep in thought.
“I just want us to go back to being friends again.”
“That’ll happen in time I’m sure. Two people can love each other and still not be right for each other. It doesn’t mean they can’t be friends again. You’ll just have to give her time.” Mai said as she got up to go. She had gotten the kid to talk about it. Offered what she hoped was good advice. Her duty was done. The kid got up too and wrapped his arms around her tighter than a lizardsnake.
“Oi, I’m fire nation kid, I only show affection to Bunnypuppies and Mongooselizards.” Mai said as she tried to extricate herself from this determined hugger. Mai didn’t do hugs.
“Thank you Mai. You really helped.” The kid mumbled into her boobs. Oh for goodness sake! Does no good deed go unpunished?
“Get a hold of yourself kid. No more fire wine for you.” Mai said. She was beginning to suspect the kid was a two pot screamer. Any more and he’d be dancing and singing and absconding on ill conceived drunken adventures and losing his shoes. She saw the blind girl gapping at them. She walked over to her with the kid in tow. She pushed him gently towards his friend and he flopped on her a little unceremoniously. Mai felt a bit bad because it was the girl’s birthday. But she was not drunk sitting the kid.
“Make sure he has a big glass of water before he goes to bed.” She said to the blind girl as she swanned off. Mai was outta here.
Some problems are easy. There’d been a General who had, disapproved of Zuko, to put it mildly. He wanted Azula for Firelord and was planning a coup. The simple, bloodless solution was coercing this general to actually visit Azula (on a bad day, Mai had made sure it was a bad day) had solved this particular problem. He’d spent less than 30 seconds with that raving lunatic before abandoning his plans. Zuko had found out. He’d been furious that she had been parading Azula around like a freakshow, just to win what he thought was some petty political point. Mai had been expecting ‘thank you.’ That’s not too much to ask, is it.
Some problems were much harder. The problem of talking some sense into Zuko when he got all melodramatic was impossible. Mai didn’t know how Iroh did it. She suspected there was something in that tea. Mai loved her job for the most part. It was only in moments like these that she hated it.
“You really think we should maintain military presence there? I’ve seen what fire nation troops do to earth kingdom villages.” Zuko exclaimed, looking at her with disbelief.
“Well they’re not just the earth kingdom anymore.” Mai explained in a dry monotone.
“Well, they’re not 100% fire nation either. I know the men have families there, and I know it’s been mixed nationality for 80 years and I don’t want to disrupt those soldiers lives. But it just doesn’t feel right to maintain such a huge military presence there. That many soldiers would make anyone nervous. I don’t blame the Earth King for asking us to withdraw.”
Zuko was in a tight spot. They’d re-established diplomatic relations with the Earth King and one of his first requests was the removal of all fire nation troops from the Earth Kingdom. This was proving more complicated than Zuko initially thought. It wasn’t a simple task, demilitarizing a place like the fire nation colonies. Zuko thought for a bit. Mai sighed and looked out the window. She was bored of this already.
“We pulled all the troops out of Omashu or Ba Sing Se easily enough. Maybe we could just return all the troops who want to come home. The men with families there, who wish to stay in the earth kingdom, would be allowed to remain.” Zuko suggested.
Gah! He had no head for this at all. He was always worried about how it would make people feel, instead of how it looked! A namby pamby, everybody-do-what-you-want-policy would make him look like a weak Firelord who couldn’t control the military and that would make problems for Mai.
“And how will that look to everybody else? That kind of system, letting everybody do what they want, breeds anarchy. And you don’t need anarchy right now sunshine.” The blind girl had a habit of calling Zuko sunshine, when she wanted to make a point and Mai used it now to full effect. Bollocks to this. She had a sexy yu yan archer at home, just waiting to order a fruit tart with her. Zuko could negotiate until he was blue in the face with the Earth King. She’d said her piece. It was time to go.
“Look you asked for my report and my recommendations and I’ve given them to you. I’m bored of this conversation now.” Mai said as she stalked off. Zuko was really lucky she still retained so much affection for him, she thought grumpily to herself.
They would’ve never worked together. She had always known this really. Zuko cared about everything too much. Mai didn’t care about anything that much. They were different on such fundamental levels. It had actually been Azula who pointed it out. Zuko visited her every week. Mai wasn’t sure why. Maybe because he was a masochist. Maybe because he wanted to lord the fact that he’d won in the end over her. No, neither of those were the real reasons. Azula was still his baby sister, and he still loved her, even after everything.
While they’d been going out, Zuko had tried repeatedly to get Mai to go visit her. Mai was busy! She was indisposed. She had a million things she’d rather do that visit miss crazy-pants-lightening-bolts. Zuko wouldn’t let it drop. She’d really like to see you. She’s getting better. She was almost normal today. You were her friend, Zuko would say, as if this explained everything. No, I was her subordinate, Mai would think. There’s a difference. They weren’t friends like he was friends with the avatar’s gang.
Eventually Mai caved and went out to Ember island. There was a small facility. It was on the other side of the island to the royal residence, But Zuko thought the familiar surroundings would comfort Azula. It was a nice hospital (even though nobody called it a hospital). Azula had her own room, with her own things and a nice window view. She was watched 24/7 and had chi blocking bracelets and anklets so she couldn’t bend, but otherwise she was left to her own devices.
“So do you still love Zuko more than you fear me?” Azula asked conversationally, her eyes only slightly unsettled.
“Yes” Mai answered, and it had been true then.
Then Azula started to laugh. It was a deep but not entirely unpleasant belly laugh. Her eyes took on a mad glaze.
“What’s so funny?” simple questions, neutral tone. That was how you got the information you wanted.
“Oh Mai, you were just part of the stage where he was trying to be the perfect prince to please daddykins. A noble firenation girlfriend just completed the look.” She laughed again, but softer, more chuckling to herself.
“you’re wrong.” Mai said plainly.
“Am I, dearest Mai? He grew out of that stage. How long before he outgrows you? How long before he writes you another letter?”
“He wouldn’t.” Mai said, trying to sound calm, but Azula unsettled her. She had a knack for unsettling people. It was her gift. She just knew how to push your buttons. Manipulations were a habit for her. Some people bite their fingernails. Azula messed with people.
“Dear Mai. I’m sorry to be writing you another letter like this….”Azula started laughing uncontrollably, as though she had just made the funniest joke ever. “But I felt this was the best way to tell you. I know you probably won’t understand……” at this she started almost crying with laughter and making little snorty noises. Mai got up abruptly and strode to the door. She wasn’t staying for this.
She saw Zuko waiting for her down the hall.
“How did it go?” Zuko asked hopefully.
“She’s crazy.”
Mai didn’t go visit Azula again. When she sent that general in to see her, she’d waited in the Teashop, drinking Jasmine tea after Jasmine tea. Iroh was right. It was calming.
….
They’d broken up two weeks later. Mostly amicably. They’d both known it was coming. Mai told herself Azula had nothing to do with her decision. It was her decision this time. She wasn’t going to have to same boy dump her twice. He asked her to stay on as his informant.
“Won’t it be weird? Now that we’re not together?”
“Maybe, but you’re the only other person in the firenation aside from my uncle who I trust to tell me the truth.”
They had always been better at being friends than they were at being lovers. Mai took up with a Yu Yan archer. He was sweet, sexy and uncomplicated. She’d found someone who worshipped her and worship was good. Zuko would find someone too, she was sure. Someone more passionate would be a better fit for him. Someone who would like him for his fire and his kindness.
Zuko threw himself into trying to fix the nation, relying on Iroh’s gentle guidance and her tough love. She knew he was lonely without the rest of the Avatar’s gang. The water tribe siblings wrote to him all the time, but it wasn’t the same. Especially as most of his missives were about discouraging them from calling him ‘your dorkiness’. He’d been downright chipper when that blind girl had randomly shown up one day a few months back. And 2 weeks ago, when there had been a flurry of messenger hawks he’d actually smiled. Like four times. Even though most of the Avatar’s gang annoyed her no end, she could learn to tolerate them, if only for that.
…
The Avatar was gloomy. Well gloomy for him, which probably meant he only said “gee whizz” instead on “whizz bang”. Relationship problems with the waterbender girl apparently. She knew this because the blind girl had told Zuko, who had told Iroh, who had told her. She had asked Zuko about it the next time she saw him. Was the Avatar really unhappy? It was hard to tell with that kid.
“Yeah, apparently so. Toph says we have to keep him busy or he’ll want to talk about feelings and crap like that.”
Mai had, in her brief relationship with Zuko, been on the receiving end of his attempts to talk about “feelings and crap like that.” Mai wasn’t into talking about feelings and crap. Feelings and Mai didn’t go well together. Invariably whenever somebody wanted to talk about their feelings you had to pretend that you cared and that’s just not what Mai was into.
But Zuko was, hands down, even worse at talking about feelings than Mai. If they had a competition about who could be the least communicative about how they really felt, Zuko would get a large, large trophy. Not only was he as adverse to these conversations as Mai was, he was hopelessly ineloquent when it came to talking about feelings and was blessed with the limitless ability of put his foot in his mouth, mix his metaphors and miss the point.
Zuko just couldn’t pick up what she thought were simple hints. It didn’t matter how many hints she dropped him, he was perpetually like hint-Teflon, nothing stuck. Sometimes she imagined the palace was literally strewn with hints that some oblivious person had dropped in the hopes that Zuko would pick them up. Zuko had, admirably, tried to talk about “feelings” with the avatar, one day when they were sparring. It didn’t go very well. So when the bald boy shouted at Zuko “you just don’t get it, do you!” she knew the feeling all to well.
She wanted to have a fire wine with him in solidarity. So when she saw him on his own, for a brief minute, at the blind girl’s birthday party that’s exactly what she did. Really someone just needed to tell the kid to suck it up. Relationships are hard. Sometimes they don’t work. Get over it. She felt a conversation like this would be eminently more helpful to baldy than Zuko talking about silver sandwiches or the blind chick throwing rocks at him.
“Hey kid.” She said coming up behind him.
“Aaah, hi …..Mai!” there was a long pause while the bald kid obviously wracked his brains for her name. He looked vaguely startled at being addressed so directly by her. They hadn’t every really talked much.
“Let’s you and me have a talk.” The kid looked dubious.
“Come on, I’ll buy you a drink.” Mai offered neutrally. That got a reaction out of the kid.
“Everything’s free though” he said looking confused.
“ I’ll get you a drink then.” She said feeling irritated. Why did she even care? Iroh and Zuko were rubbing off on her and it sucked. The kid acquiesced and a short time later they were sitting on the palace balcony stairs a bottle of fire wine between them. She thought it might help the kid loosen up.
“So what did you want to talk to me about?” the kid asked as he took a sip and made a face.
“The problems you’ve been having with the waterbending girl.” Mai said simply.
The kid spat all his wine out in a surprised burst. Really he couldn’t have looked more surprised if she’d slapped him in the face with a kipper. Nobody every expected kipper in the face!
“You know about that?! How do you know about that!?”
“Everybody knows about that.” The kid made a face that was a priceless mix of sheer mortification and surprise.
“Maybe not everyb….”she tried for a reassuring tone, but found lying to the kid wasn’t her style…
”Yeah. Everybody knows.” She finished
“Oh bloody hell.” The kid said and earthbended himself into the ground.
“Hey kid! Are you okay in there?” she said to the patch of ground he’d disappeared under.
“I’m waiting for the earth to swallow me whole.” The muffled answer came from the ground.
“Okay then, you do that.” She said and waited patiently. After thirty seconds he came back up.
“Fire wine?” Mai offered. He’d grabbed the cup and took three quick gulps.
“Whoa, steady there kid.” Mai offered.
“This is the most embarrassed I’ve ever been in my whole life.” The kid said dejectedly.
“Well if it’s any consolation, this is miles less embarrassing than the most embarrassed Zuko’s ever been in his life.” Mai said in what she hoped was a comforting tone. “I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s only sex.” She added helpfully.
The kid’s eye bulged out of his face. And he looked at her like she’d grown a second head.
“ It’s not only…that.” The kid finished lamely, blushing a furious red. Couldn’t even say sex, what business did he had engaging in it.
“What is it then?” Mai asked.
“She won’t even talk to me now. And it’s just so weird between us and I just want to go back to before it ever happened and make sure it never happens.”
“It was that bad huh?” Mai did her upmost to keep all the sarcasm out of her voice.
“I dunno, It’s the only time I’ve ever done…it.” The kid was so red now he blended in perfectly with his firenation ensemble.
“Was it her first time too?”
“yes”
“ooooch” Mai sucked air in through her teeth and made a face.
“What’s that supposed to mean!”
“The first time is always a bit weird and awkward for anyone but it’s even more weird and awkward if it’s with the wrong person.”
“You think we’re the wrong people to do that together.”
“You tell me. It sounds like it didn’t go very well.”
“well, I dunno, I thought we were, you know, right. For each other. I really love her. But now I don’t know. I don’t if she saw me that way.” The kid took a few more big gulps. He paused for a second and thought. Then he said “ She didn’t love me the way I loved her. I think she didn’t want to hurt my feelings by saying no. ” This sad little admission caused the avatar to hang his head. Mai had been in his position. Boy had she ever. God she couldn’t believe she was going to tell the kid this. She’d never talked to anyone about this. She took a big sip of wine.
“Zuko never loved me the way I loved him. He didn’t want to hurt my feelings either. But then he did. In a big way. I got over it. You’ll get over this too.”
“You don’t think she’ll ever love me the way I love her?”
“I think if she did, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
They both took a steady sip from their cups. The avatar look off deep in thought.
“I just want us to go back to being friends again.”
“That’ll happen in time I’m sure. Two people can love each other and still not be right for each other. It doesn’t mean they can’t be friends again. You’ll just have to give her time.” Mai said as she got up to go. She had gotten the kid to talk about it. Offered what she hoped was good advice. Her duty was done. The kid got up too and wrapped his arms around her tighter than a lizardsnake.
“Oi, I’m fire nation kid, I only show affection to Bunnypuppies and Mongooselizards.” Mai said as she tried to extricate herself from this determined hugger. Mai didn’t do hugs.
“Thank you Mai. You really helped.” The kid mumbled into her boobs. Oh for goodness sake! Does no good deed go unpunished?
“Get a hold of yourself kid. No more fire wine for you.” Mai said. She was beginning to suspect the kid was a two pot screamer. Any more and he’d be dancing and singing and absconding on ill conceived drunken adventures and losing his shoes. She saw the blind girl gapping at them. She walked over to her with the kid in tow. She pushed him gently towards his friend and he flopped on her a little unceremoniously. Mai felt a bit bad because it was the girl’s birthday. But she was not drunk sitting the kid.
“Make sure he has a big glass of water before he goes to bed.” She said to the blind girl as she swanned off. Mai was outta here.