(no subject)
i came here with the intention of writing something, but now i cant remember what.
but i was thinking about a lot of things today. i think that i will be chasing childhood for the rest of my life. i was reading the book, reviving ophelia, and it was talking about how female adolescence is the death of vibrance and creativity and strength and confidence in women. and then we spend decades attempting to re-build everything we lose, usually with little success. its such a battle. sometimes i feel as though my advancement into adulthood is a disappointment to everyone around me. the loss of any childhood essence in myself is a wound in the side of my dad. or my mom.
i dont want to perform tonight.
another disappointment to all the people who have said to me, "i cant wait to see it, youre so funny."
i dont know why i value humor so much, but i have ever since i can remember. if i cant make people laugh, im nothing. its such an odd mentality, but for some reason its out of my control.
ive been on the verge of tears constantly, lately, but i cant seem to squeeze out a drop.
but i was thinking about a lot of things today. i think that i will be chasing childhood for the rest of my life. i was reading the book, reviving ophelia, and it was talking about how female adolescence is the death of vibrance and creativity and strength and confidence in women. and then we spend decades attempting to re-build everything we lose, usually with little success. its such a battle. sometimes i feel as though my advancement into adulthood is a disappointment to everyone around me. the loss of any childhood essence in myself is a wound in the side of my dad. or my mom.
i dont want to perform tonight.
another disappointment to all the people who have said to me, "i cant wait to see it, youre so funny."
i dont know why i value humor so much, but i have ever since i can remember. if i cant make people laugh, im nothing. its such an odd mentality, but for some reason its out of my control.
ive been on the verge of tears constantly, lately, but i cant seem to squeeze out a drop.