(no subject)

Oct 12, 2012 02:06

I think I need to start seeing a counselor again.

Monday I went to run an errand for Aaron and in the store had an overwhelming wave of anxiety. Wound up getting the wrong thing for Aaron and probably looking like a weirdo while I avoided everyone until I absolutely had to talk to someone (twenty minutes later) and ask for something I needed. The anxiety was so overwhelming I couldn't go to class that night, so I sat at home all night alone in the dark, watching Netflix while Dresden snuggled with me.

I've been experiencing more and more anxiety when it comes to dealing with people. I can't get myself to go out with my coworkers, despite how often they ask me to and how much I want to. Since only one or two people actually try to contact me to hang out, it's rare for me to see anyone other than Aaron. The anxiety has become so overwhelming it's impeded my ability to initiate conversations with friends I haven't seen in more than a little while, and because very few people actually contact me to get together it's altogether decreased my confidence and self-esteem so rapidly I feel I may as well hang a "beware of hermit" sign on the door.

The other day Aaron said he was worried about me, because I don't get out much anymore and I don't have anyone to really talk to.

It's depressing, really.
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