Tytt

[emittchi]

The window panes were weeping. It was too dark to quite see it, but she knew anyway, because of the black drops dripping on the window sill. She had first seen it happen in her own room some days - perhaps weeks, the concept of time seemed so very blurred to her - ago, and had been strangely delighted by the sight. "It's just dust", her brother

Comments

...för två? Jag vet inte, men jag ska alltid försöka att orka.

[nahkasiipi]

Thank you for explaining this, it all makes more sense now. First of all, I am awfully sorry that I handled the moving thing so badly. I am pretty sure that I mentioned that Eath had said I might be able to move in with her before she actually decided it. But once she did, which was some time late November or early December, I just wanted to move as soon as possible, and Christmas holiday was the best time, I thought. I am pretty sure that I told you about the moving as soon as it was confirmed, but it still must have come quite suddenly. :(

I was miserable about us not being able to move together, after all, and I thought that if you're going away, it shouldn't matter to you where I live. We'll see on Friday if you'll go now, I guess, and here I'm selfishly wishing you'll get in to study Japanese. Otherwise I'll really miss you, though Kouvola isn't that far away. If you do stay in Helsinki, it still isn't impossible for us to move together, but I am scared about how we'd get along. I used to just dream about us having lots and lots of fun once we've moved somewhere, but now I'm uncertain about what would happen. And you also have doubts. It might be better if things stay like they are, but I also sometimes think that I might miss out on a lot of things because of my uncertainty. Sigh.

I have always been glad that mum hasn't started dating anyone after the divorce. I am pretty sure that if she had, I wouldn't have liked that person, at least not if they came to live with us and messed everything up. Again, I am sorry you had to go through all that, and I just hope that the bastard is well and truly out of your lives now. Though the damage he did will probably take some time to heal.

So, it was much easier to accept dad dating someone, because I don't see him all the time. His first one was somewhat fucked up, too, and was clearly part of what made him cause those troubles for us. I was not sad to see them divorce. Dad's had better luck this time, though, and I really hope that if your parents start dating people again, they'll find good partners, also!

I do have a too-rosy picture of your family, I admit it. Maybe it's because when you tell about all the fun you have with them, I wish I could have fun with my mum and brother, too. It sounds like such a dream family. Oh well. I have you and the other Eridas, and that is enough almost always.

I have friends outside Eridas, but none of them are as important as you. Only a few of them are even as important as the Eridas. Don't count my "gang" from elementary school among those friends, because although I like to see them once in a few months, I wouldn't want to spend much more time with them anymore. They're too different from me. And don't count my potterist friends, except for the Finnish people (there are maybe 6 besides me), because although I really like them, I either have never met them, or I see them very rarely.

When all of those people are excluded, what is left? The Eridas, and the few persons from lj, of which you've already met Linda (umbralin). So, after all, I don't think I have that much more friends than you. :P

I think it is very good to get these matters out in the open finally. It is easier to think about them now that some time has passed. Possible old wounds might heal and misunderstandings are corrected, things like that. I am okay and happy, I guess, most of the time when I'm not having angst attacks. The ones I've had have gone over quickly enough, like that one in Haltiala which made me walk alone almost the whole time.

Love you. ♥