Let's See
Been up to a lot of nothing, I guess. Nothing new. Have a ton of weddings and various showers this year, which is highly unusual but gives me something to do. Pinching my pennies at the moment. Still don't care enough to pursue a real job. At first it was nerves and the nerves are still there, but now I truly feel like I don't care. I don't want a job or a house or anything. They're things I need and I'll have to acquire regardless, but they mean nothing to me. I'm having a really bad time pushing myself. Why am I like this.
I'm finally at the point where I would be unhappy if I died alone with a terrible job, but I could accept it. I may never feel motivated and I may never realize what I want to do forever. I feel like I just have to accept mediocrity now. Just be accepting and not let it get to me.
The only thing I really want is a boyfriend, which is some high school-like dream, but whatever. I miss human contact. I like when there's someone to learn from and someone to motivate me. I miss it. I know in this day and age I'm supposed to be thrilled to be single and independent, but I'm not. I served my time, I think, and it was good to have a period to myself and get over things but now I'm bored and lonely. Still don't know where to meet guys. The good ones never approach me and I find it a turn off if I have to take charge and go after them. Maybe I just have to get over that, I don't know. I'm old fashioned in that sense. I want to be treated well but I still expect the guy to man up and take charge and just be hairy and manly. Kill bugs, defend me from hobos, that sort of thing. I don't care to wear those pants. Not really going anywhere with this. I should be asleep.
I'm finally at the point where I would be unhappy if I died alone with a terrible job, but I could accept it. I may never feel motivated and I may never realize what I want to do forever. I feel like I just have to accept mediocrity now. Just be accepting and not let it get to me.
The only thing I really want is a boyfriend, which is some high school-like dream, but whatever. I miss human contact. I like when there's someone to learn from and someone to motivate me. I miss it. I know in this day and age I'm supposed to be thrilled to be single and independent, but I'm not. I served my time, I think, and it was good to have a period to myself and get over things but now I'm bored and lonely. Still don't know where to meet guys. The good ones never approach me and I find it a turn off if I have to take charge and go after them. Maybe I just have to get over that, I don't know. I'm old fashioned in that sense. I want to be treated well but I still expect the guy to man up and take charge and just be hairy and manly. Kill bugs, defend me from hobos, that sort of thing. I don't care to wear those pants. Not really going anywhere with this. I should be asleep.